Dreams, Decisions, and Destinies
by Shelbecat
Summary: Maria sets out to follow one of her lifelong dreams, meeting Michael and changing him forever along the way.
1. Part 1 Herbal Tea and Chocolate Lattes

**Dreams, Decisions, and Destinies**

Part 1  
Herbal Tea and Chocolate Lattes

Maria bowed her head against the biting wind that threatened to steal her hat from its precarious position hauled tightly over her ears and pushed through the doors to the waiting sanctuary of the _Fresh Start coffee shop.  Gasping as she entered, she paused, seemingly frozen in place before shivering violently and shaking the light dusting of snow from her jacket.  In keeping with the general activity affecting everyone in the city with only four shopping days left before Christmas, her hands were laden with overflowing bags and her wallet was seemingly thinner than it had been only hours before._

"Is it still stinging?" the familiar coffee shop owner asked, looking up at her from behind the counter with one of his trademark wry grins spread across his face.

"What's that?" she asked with a smile as she juggled the bags in her hands.

"Your credit card," he said with a slight smirk, the teasing look in his eyes telling her that she wasn't the first customer he'd seen that had fallen victim to the last minute 'must-have' Christmas sales.

"Actually, I'll have you know every purchase was well planned," she offered with a straight face, her serious look cracking almost immediately as she realized that even she didn't believe her own words.  "Who am I kidding?" she laughed as she held up her sagging arms.  "I am a shop-a-holic, I'll admit it."

"Well they say that's the first step," he countered, tipping a mug onto the counter as he gestured towards the selection of tea bags on display.  "The usual?"

"Please," she replied, turning her head to see a couple just vacating a table by the window with a comfortable overstuffed arm chair that she favored.  Glancing back at the man shaking her usual combination of chamomile and mint tea bags before opening them, she nodded towards the empty chair and walked over to unload her purchases.

From behind the counter, Michael watched her walk away, smiling at the soft curve in her hip as she seemingly floated across the room.  He was in the midst of comparing her movements to that of an angel when she stumbled and dropped a particularly heavy parcel, the loud thud it made when it collided with the floor shattering his dream version of her.  He laughed as she glanced back at him, blushing from her clumsiness.

'Even embarrassed, she's still hot,' he mused.

Composing herself, Maria walked as steadily as possible back to the counter, unable to suppress her laughter on her face as she watched Michael fighting to wipe the smile from his.

"It's okay, I'm a klutz, I know it," she offered lightly.

"Well you might be a klutz but you're a graceful klutz," he teased, pouring boiling water over her favored combination of tea.

"Oh really, watching me were you?"

"I might have glanced up once or twice," he admitted, the grin still breaking across his features.

She blushed, pushing the requisite two dollars for her drink across the counter as she accepted the steaming mug.

"Nah, take it," he offered, forcing the money back towards her.  "Consider it an early Christmas present."

"Why thank you kind sir!" she said in her best rescued-maiden voice.  "But now I'm going to have to get you something."

"No, please," he refused quickly, waving his hand to signal that a free tea was no big deal.

"Oh no," she countered, picking up her mug as she turned towards her table.  "I always thank one gift with another—now what to get the brooding coffee guy, I wonder?"

Winking at him, she walked away before he had a chance to respond to her not-so-veiled insult; it was obvious that she thought she had him all figured out, and if you asked Michael, he'd probably say that she did.

~~~~~

"So anyway… it was just weird to flirt with someone again, you know?  Like it felt like I was cheating or something."

"Maria," Liz said, sighing audibly behind her words.  "It is not cheating if you just talk to him."

"It is not cheating at all!" Tess piped in, "No matter how you look at it."

The three girls were sprawled across Maria's bed giving joint pedicures—it was a whole lot cheaper than a salon and the three of them ended up with polished toes in under 20 minutes—a Sunday tradition among them.

"I know, but it's just feels wrong.  Like the other day I conjured this whole day dream about dating him," Maria said.

"Well _that_ you can't do," Liz interjected.

"Why not?" Tess asked.  "I say nail him!"

"Tess!" Liz and Maria both exclaimed at the same time.

"What?" the blonde girl argued, "It's a perfectly natural condition."

"What is?  Being nailed?" Maria said, giggling.

"No," Tess chastised, shifting her legs to make them more comfortable in Maria's lap.  "Craving sex.  You haven't had it for what?  10 weeks?"

"More like 20."

Gasping dramatically, Tess shook her head at her sister-in-law.  "Make no wonder you've got the sickness, you need a cure fast."

While Maria laughed, again, at the seriousness Tess applied to an obviously trivial matter, Liz cleared her throat and prepared to impart some of her wisdom onto the situation.

"Being horny is not a sickness, in fact it's not even a recognized medical condition at all, and if…"

"I take it back then," Tess offered.  "You're the one that needs to get nailed."

Sputtering, Liz stopped mid-sentence and yanked the pillow from underneath her arm to toss at her beyond-bold friend.

"Hey watch it!" Tess exclaimed, expertly deflecting the missile while she saved the bottle of pink nail polish she was applying to Liz's toes.  "Just because you are Miss Doctor-lady, doesn't mean you know about _every condition there is.  People have __died from lack of sex, Liz.  It's a fact."_

"I'm sure it is," their resident scientist grumbled.

Maria couldn't stop herself from smiling at her two friends.  They had never seen eye to eye on many issues at all, but their opposing views seemed to somehow be the tie that held them together.  She had been best friends with Liz since grade school and when Tess had become Liz's roommate in college, their duo quickly became a trio.  It hadn't taken much time after that before Tess met Kyle through Maria and the two were forever joined at the hip.  If Tess acted on half the suggestions she often gave her two girlfriends, Maria could just imagine that her brother had quite the eventful sex life.

"Well either way," Maria stated loudly, ending the staring contest the two were waging across the bed.  "What am I supposed to do, sleep with him and then just drop my little surprise in his lap?  Not likely."

"Come on Ria," Tess urged.  "It's not like you've got the bubonic plague—it's just…"

"Girls only or can anyone join?" Kyle called loudly as he pushed open the door to his sister's bedroom.

"No sweetie, come on in.  You want purple or blue toes today?" Tess called back seriously.

Maria laughed at the look on her brother's face as he surveyed the room and turned away again muttering, "Maybe I'll see what Max is doing."

"Don't bother," Liz called after him.  "I think he's at his sisters.  Oh!"

"What?"

"That reminds me—do you want to go over there for Christmas dinner?"

"Liz!" Maria exclaimed.  "You said it would be just the four of us."  She pouted as she stared at her best friend.  Food hadn't exactly been her friend lately and Liz had promised to cook something special for Maria in the absence of her mother's nurturing touch.

"I know," she defended herself quickly.  "But Isabel planned this big family meal, Max's brother is supposed to be there too, and Max really wants to go."

"So let him go, you've only known him for a month," Maria argued.

"Yeah, but she's in l-uu-vv," Tess drawled slowly, giggling as Liz threatened her with another pillow.

"I am not in love," she said primly.  "I am in… like, serious… like."

"Like?" Maria queried, wide-eyed.  "And have you said those precious three words to him yet, 'Oh Max, I like you'?"

"Maria, you are getting just as bad as her!" Liz exclaimed.

"Well she's a bad influence," the other girl grumbled.  Looking at the pleading look plastered on Liz's face, Maria knew she was going to cave to her friend's desire.  "All right, fine.  We'll spend Christmas with a bunch of strangers that we haven't met.  Sounds like a blast."

"Thanks!" Liz squealed, yanking her feet from Tess's hands as she vaulted towards Maria.

The pink nail polish streaked across Tess arm and she cursed as she reached for her own pillow to launch at Liz.  Maria laughed as she watched her two best friends play-wrestle on the bed and slid aside to give them more room.  She was glad to be spending the holidays with them but she could do without the addition of Max's entire family.  Christmas was supposed to be spent with the people you were closest to, not a bunch of complete strangers—joy to the freakin' world.

~~~~~

Maria sank further back into the couch, wondering that if she pushed hard enough could she make the cushions open up and swallow her whole.  She leaned back to try… it didn't work.

Damn.

She was nestled by Liz on the sofa in Isabel's apartment—attending the Christmas dinner with strangers that she still thought was absolutely absurd.  If it wasn't for Kyle she swore she would have still been in bed, but he had sided with Liz and Tess over this being a good way to spend an afternoon, and so she was here, with strangers… on Christmas!

Seeing Kyle cast a worried glance in her direction, she tossed him an over-confident smile, hiding her discomfort beneath her grin.  He was nestled next to Tess on the loveseat, his hand clutched tightly in hers as they shared their first Christmas as a married couple together.  At her side were Liz and Max, all starry-eyed and sickly-sweet in the throws of new love.  Across the room sat Isabel and her husband Alex, obviously still in the honeymoon phase of their relationship even after two years together.

Three couples and her—perfect.  

Feeling much like a third, or rather seventh, wheel, she closed her eyes for a moment and swallowed thickly.  Knowing that this was the last Christmas she would ever have to spend alone was the only fact getting her through this season at all.  'Just play the part of the secure-on-her-own-20-something-woman and get through this,' she told herself.  Her own words having little effect on the dour mood she felt inside.

A sharp knock on the door jerked her from her melancholy and she looked up as Isabel moved to open it.  'Probably the brother and his wife or girlfriend,' she contrarily told herself.  The day was just getting better by the minute.

"It's about time!" she heard the woman exclaim from the foyer of the tiny apartment.  "Laney fell asleep waiting for you."

"Yeah well I had a hard time dragging all her gifts over here," came the rough reply.

Maria listened sharply to the voice echoing from the hidden doorway, wondering for a quick second why it sounded so familiar when Isabel stepped back into her line of vision.

"Everyone, this is my brother Michael."

Maria's breath caught in her throat as she turned her head to focus on the new addition to the room—'coffee shop guy'.  His eyes fell squarely on hers as Isabel moved to introduce him to everyone.

"Michael, you remember Liz," she was saying when he interrupted her.

"Herbal tea chick."

"Coffee shop guy."

"Wha…" Liz questioned, half standing to greet her boyfriend's brother.

"Sorry," he said shifting his gaze back to Liz.  "Nice to see you again," he offered, his eyes immediately falling back to Maria's.  "And nice to see you again too."

Isabel's face crinkled as she stared at her brother.  "Do you two know each other?"

"Yeah, it's herbal tea chick," he repeated.

"It's who?"

"Actually it's Maria," she said, her heart finally starting to beat again after the shock of seeing her flirting partner outside of their usual haunt.

"Michael."

"So I heard."

A silence settled over the room as everyone who didn't have a beverage-related nickname stared at the pair of supposed strangers and waited for an explanation.

Tess got it first, gasping as she exclaimed, "Oh!  Coffee shop _guy!"  Nudging Kyle, she started, "It's the guy that Ria wanted…"_

Maria quickly shot her a glare that said if she wanted to remain in the world of the living she would shut her mouth immediately and thankfully, for Tess at least, she caught the gesture.

"The guy she wanted to… write about?" she offered helplessly.

Maria shook her head, a flush spreading across her cheeks as she realized that Tess's pathetic attempt at covering up her desires had failed miserably—she was had, her obvious crush on the previously unknown stranger revealed at their first meeting.  The day really was perfect.

Michael raised his eyebrow and smirked at her as he stepped back to take a seat, obviously enjoying his hold on the upper hand in their little flirt-fest until Max stepped in to even the playing field.

"Well if Maria is 'herbal tea chick' then I think she's the girl that Michael wanted to ah… write about too," he said, smiling brightly until Michael quashed his triumph with a look of 'you'll regret I was ever your brother'.

Isabel and Alex burst out laughing, knowing all too well that Michael's bark was worse than his bite and Maria felt relief creep back into the myriad of emotions rushing through her.

"Well, it's nice to finally meet you," she offered quietly, staring at the man who only moments ago had been a nameless stranger to her.  "Officially anyway."

"Same here," he muttered, shooting a final glare at Max before softening his features towards her.

"Well I think we need drinks," Alex said loudly, clapping his hands as he stood from his seat.  Looking at his wife, he asked, "Did I just clap my hands out loud?"

"Yes dear," Isabel replied, patting him lightly on the arm as he moved away.

"That's what I thought," he mumbled.

The entire group laughed as the lingering awkwardness in the room cleared with Alex's antics.  Maria caught Michael smiling at her, and matched his expression, shyly looking away before raising her face to his again.  She felt like she knew him so well, yet in this environment he really was a stranger to her; he had a family, friends she knew nothing about, he had an entire life beyond his coffee shop persona and she suddenly felt stupid for ever thinking that she _knew_ him.

"Well, you may know who this 'coffee shop guy' is, but I don't," Tess said, startling Maria from her thoughts.

"Sorry, Tess this is Michael, the uh… 'coffee shop guy'," she said, smiling brightly at him.  "Michael, this is Kyle and Tess, my brother and sister-in-law."

Michael nodded in their direction, offering a quick 'Hey' to the brother of the mystery girl he had also once thought he _knew so well.  Watching her every day in his shop, he had thought he had a pretty good picture of what her life was like.  He never thought she was a friend of his brother's girlfriend.  'It was indeed a very small world,' he thought._

Alex jostled him from his own deep thoughts of how little you really knew about a person, even if you did see them every day, by entering the room with a tray of martini glasses and a large glass jug.

"Oh honey, thank you!" Isabel exclaimed, sitting forward eagerly as he laid the tray on the table.  Reaching for a swizzle stick, she expertly speared two olives from the bowl he presented and placed them in a waiting glass.  "One please," she asked.

Alex laughed to cover his wife's excitement, "Martini's are the way to the ladies boys, remember that."

Max laughed nervously as he reached forward for a glass, "Liz, would you like a martini?"

Maria couldn't help herself from laughing; the look on Michael's face did little to help as he rolled his eyes and audibly sighed at the pathetic obviousness that was his brother.

"Smooth, Max," he mumbled.

Alex offered a full glass to Liz while smiling, and quickly poured two more, handing them to Maria and Tess.  Maria sat forward to object as he placed it before her.

"Oh no, none for me, thanks."

"You should try it, he makes a mean martini," Isabel prodded, already well into her first glass.

"Oh, I can't…"

"She hates these things," Tess interjected, shooting Maria a smile as she attempted to make up for her earlier mistake.  "It's the gin, turns her off every time."  Tess reached out and retrieved the glass from its place before Maria, turning to hand it to Kyle.  "Here sweetie, you'll like it."

Holding the 'girlie' glass tentatively, Kyle grimaced at the other males in the room before shrugging his shoulders and taking a large mouthful.  Swallowing the somewhat bitter liquid with a gasp, he shook his head and screwed up his face.  "Are you sure you made this right?"

"Pretty sure," Alex said, smiling.

"It tastes like gym socks!"

"Mmm, gym socks with olives, let me try!" Tess said brightly, laughing at her husband's ineptitude to appreciate new things as she took a sip of her own drink.  "It's delicious Alex, really."

Alex smiled at her and turned to Max, holding out the jug expectantly.  "Sir?"

"No thanks," he refused, glancing at Michael across the room.  "If I know Iz at all, she made sure there was Budweiser for Michael.  I think I'll steal one of those."

"You drink Bud?" Maria asked suddenly, drawing the room's focus to her.

"Yeah," Michael responded slowly.  "Why?"

"It's just that I've never seen you without a cup of coffee in your hand, just weird, I guess."

"I don't drink coffee."

"You do!  You have that cup practically welded to your hand all day."

"It's not coffee."

"It's not?  But…" A thoroughly confused look settled across her features as she pondered his statement.  "But if it's not… oh!" she gasped.  "It's chocolate!"

"Maria, what are you talking about?" Liz asked quietly.

"Michael," she explained impatiently.  "All day he walks around with this coffee mug in his hand and I just assumed… But now I remember, every time someone orders one of his moccachinos he pours up two shots of chocolate syrup but only puts one in the drink and drizzles half of the other on top.  The other half he dumps in this mug and I always wondered why he didn't just pour up a shot and a half, but I figured it was some weird thing, but now I get it… he's making chocolate lattes!"

Seven awed faces stared back at the raving girl, all except one wondering how she knew so much about the 'coffee shop guy'.

"How do you know all this?" Isabel asked incredulously.

Liz laughed first, turning to Isabel to explain lightly, "She's a writer.  She notices _everything."___

"Who do you write for, Stalker's Anonymous?" Isabel queried, already starting to laugh as the rest of the group joined in.

Maria blushed slightly, fighting to divert her eyes from Michael's as she noticed them trained intently on her.  She wasn't embarrassed to discuss her extraordinary observation skills, but it was still a little weird to be admitting her obsession with watching him before the group.

"She's just very observant," Liz added, smiling genuinely at Maria as she reached up to place her hand across the girl's eyes.  "Go on, quiz her—you wouldn't believe the things she notices."

"Okay, ahh…" Alex started.  "Um, what color is the trim in our kitchen?"

"Lilac, matches the flowers on the dining room table," Maria answered without hesitation.

"How did you know that?  You were in there for 30 seconds!" Isabel exclaimed.

"She sees stuff," Liz explained, her hand still over Maria's eyes.

"Are we finished?" Maria asked quietly, laughing at the paces they were putting her through.

"No, another… um," Isabel said.  "What color are Michael's eyes?"

"Oh she probably knows that one," Alex objected.

"Captain Morgan Original Spiced Rum."

"What?" Isabel exclaimed, spitting her martini back into her glass.

Lowering her hand from Maria's eyes, Liz watched as her friend blushed and shrugged helplessly.

Apologetically, Liz offered, "She's also a bit descriptive."

Michael looked up to meet the eyes of the now thoroughly crimson-faced girl; 'herbal tea chick' was fading fast from his memory as he got to know the newly represented woman before him.  This Maria person was turning out to be more and more fascinating as the minutes ticked by; suddenly, the Christmas dinner with strangers that he too was dreading didn't seem nearly as painful.


	2. Part 2 Possibilities

**Part 2  
Possibilities**

If you had asked her that morning about her plans for the day ahead, Maria would have groaned and painfully related the torture that would doubtlessly be dinner at a stranger's apartment on Christmas Day.  Now however, an hour into the supposedly awkward social gathering, she found herself smiling shyly as she took a sip from the glass of water she cradled in her hand, her eyes once more seeking out the shades of spiced rum across the room.

She hadn't had the chance to speak with him yet, not that she'd have the slightest clue what to say when it didn't involve ordering a cup of tea, but she wanted to approach him, needed to say something, anything, to make up for her earlier comment about his eyes.  'Captain Morgan Original Spiced Rum—really Maria,' she thought ashamedly.

Glancing up once more, she caught the twinkle in his eye as he laughed at some stupid joke Kyle was relaying and smiled as she let her mind explore the possibilities of knowing him outside of their hallowed coffee shop.  He was cute, that fact was inarguable.  'Hell he's downright gorgeous,' she thought, licking her lips lightly as she diverted her gaze towards her lap.  Plus she already knew his personality, protected but in there, sure to be fascinating if she could get closer.  There was just the small matter of her…

Isabel's flopping onto the couch rudely shook her from her reverie, the one-sided fantasy vanishing into thin air as she turned to look at the other girl.

"So, you and Michael, hey?  How long have you known each other?"

"Oh, um…" Maria stammered, shooting the brunette a nervous smile as she played with the rim of her glass.  "I, uh… I guess we've really only _known each other for about an hour.  But I've been going to his shop for a couple of months."_

"I see," Isabel replied, keeping her eyes trained on the smaller girl for an extended moment before casting them back across the room.  "And you what… like you watch him?  Write about him?"

"Oh no," Maria said quickly, blushing as she thought about the psycho that Isabel probably thought she was.  "I just people watch, you know?  I write about ordinary everyday people and the best research is to just sit back and observe them.  The coffee shop is like my library—it's… mesmerizing."

"Well I've only been a few times, but I wouldn't exactly call the cast of characters… what word did you use?  Mesmerizing?"

"Yeah," Maria said shyly.  "I guess I tend towards the over descriptive sometimes, but they really are.  There's this homeless woman who sleeps in the alley behind the store and every morning she comes out to greet people as they go inside.  I'm serious, she's like a professional door man; she doesn't beg, just makes small talk and invariably walks away with like 10 cups of coffee.  Then there's this guy that comes in every morning with his wife, or at least they're both wearing rings and she's all touchy-feely, and then he comes in again every night with a different woman and this time he's all over her—it's like a human drama played out interminably… truly amazing."

Isabel stared at the girl beside her quietly for a moment.  "How do you see all this?"

Maria's cheeks flushed as she pondered an answer that would save her the most embarrassment.  "I just… I just see it, you know?  It's like writing… writing is this vent for every idea that pops into my head, and the source of those ideas is people.  It's an amazing therapy… and I get paid to do it!"  Pausing she gauged Isabel's reaction closely, seeing that the other woman didn't quite buy the explanation she offered.  "It's like reading," she continued.  "Have you ever read a good book, I mean a really good one that you just lost yourself in?"

"Sure."

"Well watching people is like that.  There's this real life story being presented before you and all you have to do is sit back and take it in.  It's everywhere, all around you.  I watch it and then I write about it.  Michael's shop is my favorite place lately, it's… captivating."

"Why?" Isabel asked simply, a smile playing on her lips as she anticipated Maria's response.

"Well it's… it's just… well, you see…"

Isabel burst out laughing as her new friend blushed brightly and lowered her eyes in slight shame.  Reaching out to place a hand on the girl's arm, she suggested lightly, "It's okay, I think he's got it bad for you too."

Maria opened her mouth in surprise at the words of Michael's sister but couldn't deny that Isabel had hit upon the truth of the situation; she did have it _bad_ for Michael, she had known that for weeks now, but if Isabel knew then did that mean he did?

"Is it that obvious?" she asked, squinting her eyes in fear of the answer.

"Well… yeah, sort of," Isabel confirmed, smiling brightly at the embarrassed girl before her.  "Don't worry about it.  Michael's a great guy and I happen to have the inside scoop that he's single so…"

"Do you always set your brothers up on dates?"

"Um… no!  I never have before actually.  There must just be something about you."

Maria's cheeks had only just started to cool when they blushed again at Isabel's statement.  If she had the approval of his sister…

"Daddy!"

Maria looked up at the sudden addition of energy to the room and watched a streak of blurry red velvet and flying brown curls burst into the living room.

"Hey sleepy head," Michael said to the little girl as she ran directly into his arms.

"You bwing me pwesents?" her tiny voiced asked innocently.

"Yes," Michael said smiling at her.  Standing with the child in his arms, he walked to the large bag he had dropped on the floor when he entered and bent down beside it.  "You want to see?"

"No dummy, I want to wait!"

On the sofa, Maria's face was frozen in a mix of surprise and glee.  Her own emotions running on overdrive, she could sense the contended feeling spreading through the room at the addition of the little girl, but watching her with Michael… she was his daughter?

"So that must be Laney?" she said quietly, having to force strength into her voice to ask the question.

"Yeah, she just adores him."

"But she ah… she was here before him?"

"What?" Isabel asked, turning her head to Maria for a moment.  "Oh, no…" she said laughing lightly.  "Laney's not his, she's our daughter.  Michael doesn't…"

Her voice trailed off as she turned back to gaze upon the pair ripping into the first of numerous presents.  "Michael doesn't have any children," she finished softly.

"Oh," Maria replied, sensing that there was more behind the sentiment but not wanting to press the matter further.  "Well she's gorgeous," she offered.

"Thanks," Isabel replied, settling back into her comfort zone as she smiled at Maria.  "And you?"

"And me what?" Maria asked innocently.

"What's your story?  I know you're single but… kids, former marriage, scary skeleton half-hanging out of your closet that you care to reveal?"

"Uh… you aren't exactly shy, are you?" she asked, laughing.

"I'm just teasing," Isabel tossed back.  "It's just if you're going to date my brother then…"

"Whoa, who said I was going to date your brother?"  
  


"Well… why else would you have spent the past hour staring across the room at a stranger you just met?"

Caught again, Maria laughed and wondered how she could move past this topic without either promising herself to a relationship or preventing one forever.  She wanted to date Michael, of course she did, but it just wasn't fair to start anything with him right now.  And if she told Isabel why she couldn't, she'd probably just ensure that they'd never have a chance.  She was stuck.

"Dinner is served!"

Maria sighed audibly as Alex entered the living room and announced the awaited serving of their Christmas meal.  She stood expectantly and followed Isabel towards the dining room as her stomach growled loudly and she laughed.  "I think my body is calling out for that turkey."

"What turkey?" Isabel tossed over her shoulder.  "We're having chili."

Maria stopped mid-step and stared at the retreating back of her hostess.  They were having chili… for Christmas!?!

"Liz," she whispered furtively, grabbing the brunette as she attempted to slip past her towards the table.  "I thought you said this was going to be a 'traditional' meal?"

"I know," Liz shrugged helplessly.  "I thought it was, but I guess she's not a big cook."

"Not a big cook!" Maria screeched beneath her breath.  "Christmas without turkey is like… it's like…"

"Christmas without presents?" a new voice interjected.

"Exactly!" Maria said, turning to glance back at the source of the voice before realizing that it was Michael.  'S-hit,' she thought, mentally kicking herself for insulting his sister's cooking before even trying it.

"Not a big chili-fan?" he teased.

"No it's just that I expected… I mean, traditionally…" she stammered.

"I get it.  But you know how some people can cook only one thing really well?"

"Yeah."

"Well, half of that statement applies to Isabel."

Maria's mouth opened slightly at his comment, unsure of whether to laugh or defend herself when she saw the telltale twinkle in his eye and new that he was only teasing.  Smiling, she let her eyes follow him as he moved past her to take a seat at the table.  Stepping inside the room, her stomach suddenly flipped for two reasons… the scent of the spicy dish attacked her senses, sending a wave of nausea coursing through her body and, looking at the seating arrangement, she realized that the last empty chair was right next to him… the day just got more and more perfect with every hour.

~*~*~*~*~

Somehow Maria managed to make it through the meal by taking small bites of her roll and breaking the rest into tiny pieces over the offensive chili.  There had been a time only weeks before that she would have delved into the dish with fervor but now even the smell of the spicy dish turned her stomach.

As they were clearing the dishes from the table, she snuck up behind Liz and whispered in her ear, "You do realize that we are doing this all again next week at your place?"

"Oh yes."

"And there will be the ritualistic sacrifice of a bird of some sort?"

"Most definitely."

"And you will never take me to a stranger's house on Christmas again?"

"Maria," Liz whined softly, turning around to stare into her friend's eyes.  "This is fun, admit it.  You even met someone you already knew…"

"Chill chica," Maria said lightly.  "The company is fine, _more than actually, I just like my meat and potatoes, you know?"_

"This from the girl who was all tofu and wheat grass a few months ago?" Tess chimed in, stepping into the tiny circle to glance at the other two girls.  "What are we gossiping about?"

"Nothing, because we are in someone else's home and it is rude," Liz replied primly.

"The fact that Lizzie here has to make this meal up to me big time," Maria corrected, sending her friend a daring glare.

"I know!" Tess agreed. "The chili was great but poor Kyle is about to eat a table leg if I don't put some meat in front of him.  Speaking of which, have you decided to jump Mr. Coffee Shop yet?"

"Tess!" Maria shrieked softly.

"What?  You obviously want him, why don't you just take him in one of the bedrooms and get it over with?"

"You are seriously disturbed, you know that?" Liz objected quickly.

"I, for once, have to agree with our little Elizabeth here," Maria whispered.  "I am not about to 'jump him' or 'nail him' at any point, let alone in his sister's house!"

"Fine, fine," Tess relented, holding up her hands in surrender as she backed off.  "All I'm saying is that you've got limited time before you blow up and…"

"Shh, you are an evil, evil girl, you know that?"

"I know, why do you think your brother married me?" the blonde said wickedly.

Maria couldn't help but laugh at her sister-in-law but she still shook her head and fought for the best 'you should be ashamed of yourself' look she could muster.  It failed miserably, and the three women struggled to suppress their giggles until a loud gurgling from Maria's stomach punctured the laughter.

"Hungry Ria?" Tess asked innocently.

"God, what do you think?"

"Relax," Liz added.  "Max said there was desert too, you can eat that."

"Ladies," Alex suddenly called from the dining room.  "Desert's ready—Isabel made Sara Lee Double Chocolate cake."

"She made it!" Maria whispered in shock to Liz.  Whirling around, she headed towards the living area of the apartment, calling over her shoulder.  "I am going to the washroom, and _you better make plans for a __huge cheesecake!"_

Walking down the short hallway towards the bathroom Maria laughed quietly at the fiasco of a meal that she was putting up with, already making plans for candied yams at their next dinner.  Passing a half-open bedroom door, she paused as she heard Laney's voice floating into the hallway.

"Unca Mica, you pay Barbie dis time, I be Ken."

Unable to resist, Maria pushed the door open further, peeking around the corner to see Michael sprawled on the floor of the little girl's bedroom.  He noticed her immediately, smiling through the flush that spread across his cheeks as he sat up.

"Laney, maybe Maria wants to play Barbie this time," Michael said, holding out the doll to the child.

"M'Ria?" Laney asked wide-eyed.

"Sure, sweetie, I'd love to play Barbie, but only if Unca Mica plays too."

"See, Unca?" the little girl said, turning to press the doll back into his hand.  "You not get away wit it dat easy."

Maria laughed as she knelt down to select one of the Barbie dolls from the large pile Laney had spread on the floor.  If the little girl knew how to play Michael so effortlessly she was obviously gifted.

"So Laney," Maria said as she picked up a brush to style _Dream Fantasy_ Barbie's flowing golden locks.  "Do you like playing Barbies with Unca Mica?"

Michael glanced at her as Laney dug into her pile of clothes for the fifth Ken clothing change of the day.

"He okay," the little girl said thoughtfully, mussing her hair as she pushed stray locks off her forehead.  "But he a'ways want to be Ken and make me be Barbie.  We live in e-qwal s'iety M'Ria, Daddy say so.  I can be boy doll if I want to."

"Yes you can," Maria said as her smile grew across her face.  Having a lesson on the rules of modern society from a three-year-old was definitely a new experience and she felt the familiar hormone surge gearing up to release another wave upon her body as she stared at the child.

Michael watched closely as she looked at Laney adoringly.  His niece was captivating, there was no question about that, but Maria looked like… she looked like she was longing.  Looking back at his Barbie for a second, he grimaced at having his first real encounter with 'herbal tea chick' while holding a blonde boob job in his hand.  Placing it aside, he dared another glance at Maria, surprised when he saw her wiping a stray tear from her cheek.

Raising her face, she caught his eye across the bowed head of the child between them and smiled as she swiped at the wetness again.  It seemed like she couldn't go an hour without shedding a tear over something these days, it was just beyond fitting that now she was crying in his presence.

"Laney?" Michael said suddenly.  "I think your Mommy said she was baking Sara Lee for desert.  You want some?"

"You can't bake Sawa Lee, Unca.  Mommy just like to tell people she bake so day tink she good cook."

Michael had to actually bite his lip to stop from laughing at that comment as he rose to his feet, bending down to hold out his arms to the little girl.  "Well, you want some anyway?"

"O'tay," she shrugged, reaching up for her uncle.

Michael easily lifted the little girl into his arms, turning her to face Maria as he waited to see if she would join them.

"You t-uming M'Ria?"

Giving her cheek one last wipe, Maria smiled up at the little girl and stood, pressing her hand to her forehead as she did.

"Headache?" Michael asked.

"Yeah, nothing a good cup of tea won't cure," she replied as she smiled up at him.

"Well let's go get something to drink then," he suggested suddenly.

"What?  But what about the dinner, your family?"

"Mommy won't care M'Ria.  She just need Daddy do dishes to be happy."

"Okay then, if Laney thinks it's a good idea then so do I.  But… I happen to know that the best place to get a cup of tea is closed today."

"Well, if it's the same place I'm thinking of I just _happen to know the owner," Michael said, smirking at her as he moved to carry Laney into the living room._

Maria lagged behind for a moment, watching the little girl's head bounce as she rode on her uncle's shoulder.  Children were so precious, so perfect, so… hard.  She had to press her hand to her mouth to suppress the sob that rose within her throat as she thought about having a child of her own.  Laney was so lucky to have Alex _and_ Michael in her life.  Not to mention Max.  All Maria had was Kyle and even he didn't completely understand how she could have made the decision that brought her to this place.

At that very moment, Maria Deluca was 10 weeks pregnant and she had absolutely no idea who the father was.


	3. Part 3 Two Thousand and Two Goodbyes

**Part 3  
Two Thousand and Two Goodbyes**

Michael shifted the gears in his Jeep Liberty Renegade and stole a glance over at the blonde sitting next to him.  Maria… her name was Maria.  He hadn't had a chance to try it out loud much yet, but in his mind it sounded like the sweetest honey, dripping from his mouth as it caressed his lips.

"Nice truck," she commented softly, puncturing the slightly awkward silence between them.

"Jeep," he corrected, tossing a smile her way as he paid homage to the only proper reference to his beloved vehicle.

His smile was not returned as she stared intently across the shadowed interior at him.  Sure she was going ask him to release her at the next corner, he swallowed nervously, about to offer some sort of patched-together lame a-ss apology when she suddenly laughed a little too loudly in the tiny space.

"I drive a TJ," she offered, giggling.

"_You_ drive a TJ?" Michael asked incredulously.  "Soft top?"

"Yeah," she said casually, shrugging to signal the normalcy of what was so very obviously not a normal vehicle for a single woman to drive.  "It's reliable… and you can't beat the looks it gets me."

Now, it was his turn to stare as she blatantly admitted her penchant for flirting and a silence descended over them for an extended moment until both burst into laughter.

"Okay, so we've each got a cool ride," he stated, still smiling.  "Other than that…"

"We don't know very much?" she finished.

Michael nodded his agreement as he focused on the dark road ahead of him, slowing to a stop at a set of amber traffic lights.

"Well I know your name, now…" she continued.  "Michael Evans, coffee shop guy."

"Guerin."

"What?"

"It's Guerin.  My name, it's Michael Guerin."

"But isn't Max…"

Used to the common question, Michael answered easily.  "Max is Evans, Isabel is Evans-Whitman and I'm Guerin—long family history."

Nodding, Maria accepted his explanation without question as she added, "We've got one of those too—I'm Deluca and Kyle's Valenti."

"Divorce?"

"And remarriage."

"Well we've just got an adoption, or rather foster care that didn't quite get around to the adoption phase."

"You or them, or is that too much?" she queried hesitantly.

"Me, and no, it's not too much if you tell me your story."

"My Dad left 20 years ago and my Mom remarried when I was 18.  I didn't see the point in changing it then so I kept Deluca," she explained simply.

"Okay," he said as he slowed and looked to his left before turning onto a new street.  "My turn—eyes?"

"What about them?"

"What color are they?"

"Oh, green."

Surprise registered on his face as he glanced across the darkened interior at her.  "Just… green?"

She only shrugged in response, smiling as she watched the lights from oncoming cars play across his face.  "I only describe what I see, it's not the same when you're talking about yourself."

"Fair enough… then I get another question."

"Sure."

"Ahh… boyfriend?"

"You are _just_ like your sister!"

"Oh s-hit, what did she do?"

"Oh, not much, just gave me the third degree about any skeletons I might have hiding in my closet."

"And…"

"And what?"

"Do you have any skeletons?"

"That's a bit much for a first date, isn't it?"

"Is this a first date?"

"Oh I… uh…"

Laughing, Michael signaled again and pulled to a quick stop in front of the closed coffee shop.  Shutting off the jeep, he turned to her and tried to catch a glimpse of the 'green' eyes through the shadows.  "How about we just get a drink and talk?  We do it every day, should be simple enough."

"Yeah, simple," she echoed softly, shooting him a tentative smile as she turned to exit the vehicle.  Simple would be to have met you before I ever decided to go through with this, Maria thought to herself.  Simple would be to not have to tell a brand new date that you were already taken… in a sense.

'Chill,' she commanded herself as he rounded the hood and reached to close her door.  'You are just getting a cup of tea like you do twice a day every day, the fact that you know his name makes no difference whatsoever.'

Staring at his back as he unlocked the familiar coffee shop, she knew that his name had suddenly made the biggest difference of all—he was no longer a nameless stranger that existed on the fringe of her life, he was a guy that she was totally interested in that now had the potential to become something more than her 'coffee shop guy'.  The only question was if she was ready to have _anyone be something more to her—she had a secret, a big one, and she was petrified of falling for someone that would most likely freak at the news and vanish.  She had to make a decision, either come clean to him up front and risk not ever knowing if they could have been good together or just try and enjoy the few weeks before her 'condition' would be obvious and then tell him—and watch him walk away._

As she stepped into the darkened shop behind him, she knew that it was already too late to choose—she had fallen for him the moment he'd walked into that apartment this afternoon, the only thing she could hope for now was that his niece wasn't the only child he liked to play Barbies with.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Michael watched the foam rise on his milk cautiously, timing the temperature peak just perfectly before killing the steam.  Adding the liquid to the already sinful concoction of espresso and caramel in the two over-sized mugs resting on the counter, he scraped a heaping helping of frothy nothingness on top before drizzling the entire drink with even more sticky sweet syrup.

"You are like a 'coffee' Picasso," Isabel observed, accepting one of the mugs from him as she turned away to sit at a nearby table.  "Each one a work of art."

"I try," Michael said humbly, picking up his own mug to join her.  Collapsing heavily into a chair, he sighed, "It has been crazy in here today.  I thought people were supposed to spend the holidays at home… with family."

"Well you're working like a dog, why shouldn't the rest of the city?"

Smirking slightly at her, he had to nod his agreement that the date of December 30th did little to keep the caffeine addicted masses at bay.  Fiddling with the handle of his mug, he paused for a few moments before giving in to the necessity to know and asking, "So, I know you didn't trek all the way downtown for a Caramel Macchiato, what gives?"

"Can't a girl just visit her brother when she wants to?" she asked innocently.

"Sure she can, when it's not a work day and I know that she has somewhere else to be," he tossed back lightly.

Grinning, she shook her head as she remembered that he always was good at seeing right through people; secrets never held for long around this particular brother.  "I just wanted to see what you were doing for New Year's," she explained finally.

"And you couldn't do this on the phone?"

"What?  Me coming down here is that bad?"

"No, no, that's not it and you know it.  Just… why the long trip?"

"I don't know," she said, shrugging.  Staring at the melting swirls of caramel adorning the java masterpiece in her hand, Isabel cleared her throat lightly as she continued.  "We are just going over to Liz's with Max and I was wondering if you could make it.  That Maria girl is supposed to be there."

"Ahh, she reveals her evil plot," Michael said, shaking his head.

"What?  You two seemed like you really hit it off the other day and I _know you've seen her since then.  Why not come?"_

Shrugging, he took a long sip of the still scalding liquid before him, wincing at the instant burns to his mouth before replying, "I might drop by."

"Michael…" she intoned seriously.

"Isabel…" he returned mockingly.  Staring her down, she blinked first and looked away as a satisfied smile spread across his face at his victory.

"I just think it's time to get out there again, you know?"

"I knew it.  Everything always has to come down to that, doesn't it?" he asked heavily, the underlying tones of anger glaringly obvious in his voice.

"No, it doesn't _always_ and you know it.  In fact it hardly _ever does because you never care enough to act on it.  Now I saw the way you two were looking at each other and I think you should go for it."_

Grinding his teeth together behind pinched lips, Michael attempted to drown his fury in the melting foam on his cup before speaking… it didn't work.  "Where exactly did you get your doctorate on my personal life, Iz?  This one doesn't affect you."

Obviously taken aback by his forceful reaction, she hesitated before reaching a tentative hand across the table to rest on his arm.  "It's been five years, don't you think…"

"I've got to get back to work."

Standing abruptly, he averted his eyes from the penetrating glance of his sister as he picked up his barely touched drink and turned away.

Rushing to follow him, Isabel stood from her seat, knocking her leg against the table as her own untouched drink sloshed about madly.  "Oh s-hit," she cried softly, snatching her cup from the table as she looked around for something to clean up the mess.

"Here, I got it," Michael stepped in, grabbing a cloth from the counter to lean over and soak up the spilled liquid.

Watching him for a moment, she noted the intense look of concentration on his face as he pushed aside the old memories she had inadvertently brought to the surface and lost himself in his work again.  It was always the same, every time she thought that he might be ready to move on, to put that part of his life behind him, something sparked a deep-seeded emotional reaction and it was as if he was losing her all over again.

He turned when he was finished, reaching out to take the mug from her hands when she suddenly latched on onto his forearm.

"Just try, okay?" she asked quietly.  "It'll be a nice party anyway."

"I'll see," he muttered gruffly.

"That's all I can ask," she replied, smiling.  Reaching up with both arms, she wrapped them around his neck for a quick hug and pecked his cheek lightly, pulling away just as she felt his muscles stiffen and knew the invasion of his personal space had worn out its welcome.

Grabbing her purse from her chair, she moved towards the door tossing, "Call me," over her shoulder as she went.

Michael watched her leave, cursing as he realized that he was still holding the dripping coffee mug and had now spilled caramel tinged coffee all over him.  Shaking his head as he moved behind the counter to dump the contents in the sink, he had to fight to force his thoughts not to retreat into the warmth of the welcoming sanctuary Isabel had shown him.  No matter how much time seemed to pass, it still only took the slightest reminder to send him reeling back to that time when life made sense and everything seemed like it was on a perfect track for him.

He had known at the time that it was too good to be true, but prayed every night that he was wrong.  There was the belief, held by many, that if you had a miserable start in life you were entitled to a glorious ending.  Michael had almost come to believe in the theorem when his very foundation was ripped from beneath his feet and he was left in a darker place than his years of abuse had ever placed him.

No, he resolved firmly.  He was not going to allow his mind to venture back into that hell dimension on this day.  Isabel was right in a sense; it _was_ time to move on and he had just found the perfect person to do it with.  If 'herbal tea chick' was going to be at this party then so was he… even if it killed him.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Michael slipped through the crowded living room of Liz's apartment, furtively glancing around for the signature blonde head he sought.  He'd complied with Isabel's wishes and showed up at the party only to find himself repeatedly catching her eye across the room but unable to extract himself from the pointless conversations with strangers long enough to reach her.

Now it was almost midnight; he'd already been here for well over an hour and so far hadn't spoken a word to her.  Looking up at his reflection in the sliding glass doors leading to the balcony, he audibly sighed as he realized that he looked just as desperate as he felt.  Spending time with her, testing the waters a little more as he took the first tentative steps towards what could quite possibly be his first real relationship in five years, had been the primary goal tonight.  Instead, here he was, completely alone in the middle of the teeming masses, pathetically searching her out for what… for a simple Happy New Year's wish or was it for more…

He had no idea.

"This is pointless," he muttered as he turned to mount his final struggle through the crowd, hoping to make an undetected early exit.  Somewhere in the periphery of his vision, a streak of red caught his attention and he stopped, turning back to seek out the source.  It was the same color she was wearing, he was sure of it, but as he scanned the room he still couldn't find her.  Chalking it up to a burning desire to see her, mixed with an slightly overactive imagination, he was about to give up his pursuit for the second time when a small movement drew his attention outside of the apartment and he knew where he'd seen the color.

On the balcony, in sub-zero temperatures, she stood alone, her arms clasped tightly around her body, looking out over the twinkling lights of the partying city.  His breath caught in his throat as he felt himself pulled towards the glass doors; her profile was silhouetted by the lights streaming out of the living room windows and he would have sworn at that moment that he had never witnessed a more beautiful creature.  Pushing aside the barrier separating them, he stepped outside and approached her silently.

"I was wondering how long it'd take you," she said suddenly, shattering the element of surprise he thought he possessed.  Turning to glance up at him with her statement, she observed his startled look, smiling as she explained, "Sorry, you just don't seem the mingling type."

"Uh… not exactly," he confirmed, tossing her one of the trademark smirks that were already destined to set her heart fluttering.  Leaning forward to rest his arms on the railing, he continued, "So, ah… we know all about my anti-social tendencies, but why are you out here?"

"Ugh," she groaned lightly, pressing a hand to her forehead.  "If I'm expected to spend an entire evening with Liz's lab rats, copious amounts of alcohol are required."

"I'm sure that can be arranged," he offered as he turned away to go back inside.

"Oh no," she said quickly, reaching out to grab his arm.   "I can't, I'm uh… I'm allergic to alcohol."

"You're what?" he asked incredulously.

"I'm allergic," she continued, thankful that the darkness of the night sky hid the flush on her cheeks.  "It's actually pretty common."

"It's actually a sin, that's what it is!" he exclaimed.

Laughing, she shot him another brilliant smile as she shrugged her shoulders helplessly.  "I get along fine without it."

"Well, I'm sure, but still…" he muttered, stepping back towards her when they both suddenly noticed her hand still clutching his arm.

His eyes dropped downwards, lingering on the grace of her fingers before climbing their way back to her face.  Embarrassment registered there as she jerked her arm quickly, attempting to pull it away just as he clamped his down atop hers.

"Don't," he said quietly, staring directly into her eyes as he erased the distance between them.  "Caribbean sea just after sunrise," he murmured.

"What?" she breathed, focusing first on his approaching mouth and then on his eyes as he released the words.

"Your eyes… that's what color they are."

_10..._

_9..._

Stirred by his words, she panted lightly as she leaned closer and whispered, "It's almost time."

_7..._

_6..._

"Time for what?" he asked softly.

_4..._

_3..._

"Time to start again," she murmured, moistening her lips lightly as she tipped her face towards him.

_1..._

"Happy New Year!"

The final inches evaporated between them as they each equally poured themselves into the new love; the kiss was explosive, and Maria would later swear that actual sparks had ignited on her lips.  A hunger born partly from being denied the pleasure of someone's company for too long, and partly from the sheer deliciousness that was the man she kissed, consumed her.  Losing herself in his caress, she sensed, more than felt, the tiny life stirring inside her and knew that she had more than herself to consider in deciding to begin a relationship with him.  Gasping for air in the nonexistent separation between them, she pulled away slightly, favoring her pulsating bottom lip as she paused to regain her composure.  Staring up into his hooded eyes, the look of pure desire rising there overwhelmed her—she knew she'd have to make a rational decision about pursuing this but right now her only thought was that all rationality could wait until next year.


	4. Part 4 Reasoning

**Part 4  
Reasoning**

Tess closed the door to Liz's bedroom behind her and leaned against it tiredly.  "Finally," she sighed heavily.  "I had to tell him we were almost out of beer to get him to leave!"

"Kyle enjoys the gossip as well as the ladies," Maria confirmed, leaning back against the overstuffed pillows on the bed while Liz reached out to massage her feet.

"That he does," Tess confirmed, moving to join them on the mattress.  "It was either prompt him with lack of alcohol or give him a blowjob, which I…"

"Tess!  Oh my God, you did not!" Liz exclaimed.

"Yes Lizzie," the blonde responded dryly.  "I just gave my husband a blowjob right in your living room… with Max watching."

"Oh, well I just…"

"Stop teasing her," Maria scolded, reaching out to swat Tess's arm lightly as she fought for control of her own grin.  Seeing that Liz was still doubtful about the indecent acts that may or may not have just occurred in her apartment, she gave her a reassuring smile.  "Relax babe, you know Kyle would have at least made her go in the bathroom."

"Maria!  You are not helping!"

Laughing, Tess crawled up beside Maria on the bed to share a conspiratorial glance.  Pushing Liz's buttons was just too much fun and it was something that she normally received rebukes from both girls for.  Having Maria join her in the teasing was exhilarating.

"Okay, okay," Maria gasped, still holding her stomach as giggles rippled through her.  We'll be good, besides we only have a few minutes before Max is in here asking you to check if he peeled the potatoes correctly."

"He will not,"" Liz retorted.

It was New Year's Day and the five of them were at Liz's preparing her 'make-it-up-to-Maria' meal.  To be more precise, Liz had put Max to work in the kitchen at getting things ready while Tess sent Kyle out of the apartment so that they could finally hear what had happened last night between Maria and Michael.

"Fine, fine, but if he comes in here asking where the oven is…" Tess mumbled.

"Stop it, both of you," Maria commanded, chastising them with a teasing glare.  "I really need your advice on something—what am I going to do about Michael?"

"You mean the babe?"

"No Tess, I mean the guy who doesn't know I'm pregnant yet."

"Oh."

"I've been trying to come up with reasons for and against," Maria explained, holding out her hand to count them off on her fingers.  "Number 1—he's hot.  Number 2—he's a great kisser.  Number 3—he's hot.  Number 4—he's got a nice a-ss.  Number 5—…"

"Maria, if you are just going to list his 'hotness' over and over again, I'm not going to play."

"Play what Liz?  The 'let's-see-how-jealous-she-can-make-us' game?" Tess inquired innocently.

"I'm serious," Liz argued, her face flushing as she defended her words to the pair of best friends.  "A list should be a well-thought out collection of attributes that…"

"All right, Lizzie.  Calm down, I'm only joking, I do actually have a real list," Maria interrupted, trying to ease the growing tension.

"You seriously made a list?" Liz asked.

"Babe, she's got it bad for the hunk, can't you see?  She needs some help, although I personally say to just plow him, but…"

"Tess!  Oh my God, you and those visuals, I'm serious, I don't think I can handle another one," Maria complained, holding her hand to her stomach.

"Kyle doesn't complain…"

"Tess!"  This time is was both girls who joined forces against their saucy-tongued friend.

"Fine, fine, I'll be good.  But let's hear this list," she said, rolling her eyes as she wordlessly signaled that her preference was for the pair to just jump in bed and get the awkwardness over with.

"All right," Maria said semi-seriously, stifling a smile as she watched Tess stick her tongue out at Liz's condescending look.  "I was just thinking that there are reasons to pursue this and reasons to retreat."

"You sound like you are mounting a war battle," Tess mumbled before reaching up to make a zipping motion across her mouth as Maria shot her a threatening glance.

"Okay, on the 'date him' list we've got number 1—he _is cute, major points in the Adonis category.  Number 2—I feel like I already know him, so it's almost like I _can't_ back out of it; it'd be like breaking up with a friend or something.  Number 3—he's so great with Laney that I keep telling myself that he'd be cool with me having a baby but…"_

"No guarantees with that one," Liz reminded her softly, offering a sympathetic grin.

"I know.  Then there's still the 'just have your baby and forget about him' list.  Number 1—Hello!  I'm pregnant with some unknown man's child.  It's bad enough that I've got a lifetime of baggage to introduce but to have a real live parcel on top of it…" Maria shook her head as she glanced at the girls sadly.  "My brain tells me not to drag him into this mess but I think my heart already left on its first date."

"Oh sweetie," Liz offered quietly, massaging Maria's feet from where they rested in her lap.  "I know you feel this attraction, but you _are going to have a baby… maybe it's better if you just stick to the original plan of single motherhood."_

"Maybe," Maria agreed half-heartedly.

"Wait a minute," Tess butted in.  "You didn't finish the lists.  What else is on the 'date him' one?"

"Oh God, umm… 4—he's a great kisser, I mean star quality.  Number 5—he's got a great personality, it _does_ seem like he's got this protective wall out there, but that's what I find even more fascinating.  He's definitely an enigma."

"You always did like a challenge," Liz granted.

Maria smiled as she added, "Number 6—he drives a Jeep, hello!"  She laughed at the silliness of her reason as the other two women shook their heads in the knowledge that beyond her unborn child, Maria's most prized possession was her beloved TJ.

"Number 7—…"

"You could probably think of another 10 reasons, couldn't you?" Tess asked, interrupting the parade of 'why she should date Michael' facts.

"Probably," Maria agreed.

"And you don't have one more thing to add to the other list, do you?"

"I… uh, well I…" Maria stammered, thinking for a second about what she could add to the reasons _not to at least explore a relationship with him.  "I… uh, no," she answered finally, her cheeks blushing as she admitted that beyond her pregnancy there wasn't __one other reason not to date a guy that she was already totally attracted to._

"No," Tess repeated, confirming the answer that she had known all along.  "So you are having a baby, maybe he thinks its weird and you break up in six months, or maybe he loves the idea and makes a great Dad."  Pausing, she couldn't help the smirk that spread across her face as she got to her real reason for supporting a relationship with Michael.

"Either way you're getting laid."

"Tess!"

~*~*~*~*~*~

Maria sighed as she recalled the logic Tess had sprung on her nearly three weeks before.  She supposed that she'd known she wanted to pursue things with Michael from the first moment she learned his actual name, but talking it over with her trusted confidantes had helped her realize that not only was he doubtless to be a great date, she was _only_ pregnant—she didn't have a contagious disease, she wasn't asking him to play the role of a new father—she just wanted what every person wanted, someone to make her happy… someone to love.

Love—did she?  It was easy to say that it was too soon to tell, but in reality she had known the moment his lips met hers, perhaps before, that 'love at first sight' was no longer a myth.

Brushing her hair behind her ear, Maria stood and paced her small living room for the hundredth time that evening.  Nearly a month had passed since Christmas Day and she had just reached the 14 week mark of her pregnancy.  Already she was carrying ten extra pounds on her tiny frame with the scales tipping ever upwards as the weeks went by.  She knew that she had to tell Michael about her little _condition_ soon; time simply wasn't on her side in this particular battle.

Taking a deep breath, she attempted to rehearse the words she planned to say to him when a glance at the clock identified that he would be here any minute and all rational thought took leave of her mind.  Butterflies that had somewhat settled in her stomach immediately took flight, stirring her nerves into a boiling cauldron as they danced their way through her entire system.

"Deep breaths, de-ee-ep breaths," she repeated softly to herself, straightening the slightly oversized sweater she was wearing one more time as she checked her appearance in the mirror.

Although she was expecting it, the phone ringing shrilly throughout the small room startled her and she fumbled with the receiver as she grabbed after it.  "Come on up," she said a little too brightly, pressing '6' on the keypad to unlock the downstairs door for her guest.

The time between Michael entering the building and reaching her apartment on the 16th floor was probably a full three minutes, but to Maria it felt like the fastest 10 second period she had ever lived through.  There just couldn't be _enough time for her to prepare herself for what she wanted to tell him; no matter how much she chided herself on having made this decision with confidence over six months ago, now that she was telling the first person who might very well leave her life because of it she was petrified._

Hearing his booming knock on the door, she forced herself across the room to open it, the smile that graced her features when she saw him standing there the one thing that didn't feel false about the evening.

"Hey," he murmured softly, leaning in to meet her lips in a soft kiss before pulling away to fully examine her.  The black skirt she wore was long, teasing her ankles with its length, while the deep maroon top set off the paleness of her skin exquisitely.  Any bulge that she may have felt obvious beneath her clothes went unnoticed by him as he wrapped his arms around her lithe frame and pulled her inside the apartment.

"You look amazing," he offered, leaning down to steal another kiss as he pushed the door shut behind him.

"Thank you," she whispered, breathless from his kisses and in awe of the undeserving attention he showered her with on every meeting.  The memory that she had something important to tell him was lost for a moment as she returned the gesture in attacking his lips.  Being with him was so easy and felt so comfortable that she reviled the tiny thought swirling in her brain that she couldn't 'forget' about tonight's task forever.

"Why don't we… why don't we sit?" she suggested quietly, pulling away from him as her fingers sought out her burning lips.  Smiling up at him, she hoped she displayed a calmness not shared by her bouncing mind as she led him to the living room.

"You want a drink?" she asked as he took a seat.

"Not if you're not," he replied easily, repeating his declaration nearly three weeks before that if she couldn't drink than he wouldn't in her presence.

"Really," she insisted again, just as she had every time before.  "I don't mind you drinking, it's just a beer."

Turning to walk into the kitchen without receiving his agreement, she mumbled beneath her breath, "In a few minutes you're gonna need it."

"What?"

"Oh nothing," she called, closing the fridge as she wrestled with the cap of a Budweiser—bought especially for him, especially for tonight.

"Here, let me," he said softly, sneaking up behind her in the small space to take the bottle from her hand.  Opening it easily, he laid it on the counter and raised his hands to rest on her shoulders, massaging them lightly.  "What's up?  You seem… off."

"Oh I'm just…" her voice had lost all strength as she reached out to grip the edge of the counter tightly, willing her body to remain upright as she forced the next words from her mouth.  "I have to… I have to tell you something."

"Shoot."

Still with her back to him, she closed her eyes briefly as she felt his hands squeeze her shoulders and silently cursed.  'Just say it,' she commanded herself.  'What's the worst that can happen?'

He could leave.

"Just promise me you won't take off before I can finish, okay?" she said aloud.

"Okay," he said slowly, pushing against her body as he forced her around to face him.  "But you are increasing the freak-out factor just a little here.  What's up?"

"I'm uh… well a while ago I made this decision, and well… well because of that I'm sort of… well I'm…"  Her eyes roamed his chest, unable to focus on any one place until a gentle tug from his hand sent her chin tilting upwards and she met his gaze directly.  Gulping, she inhaled slowly and closed her eyes to his as she gave voice to the dreaded words.

"I'm pregnant."

'This must be what it feels like to die,' Maria thought as she felt a black void close in on her spirit at the sound of the actual words leaving her mouth.  All sound escaped her world as she focused only on the silence between them.  Words, she knew that she had expected to hear words but at the moment she couldn't tell you what they were supposed to be or even who was supposed to say them.  She was aware of the fact that she was still standing but didn't know if the pressure on her shoulders was from Michael's hands or the weight of the world pushing ever downwards.

"Ok-ay," came the slow drawl from somewhere in front of her.  "Uh, who's the father?"

Blinking her eyes open, she stared intently at the floor as she shrugged, "He's sort of not in the picture."

"Oh, well… good."

Her eyes flew upwards, struggling to focus on the nonchalant look plastered to his face as she processed the words he'd spoken.  "Good?" she repeated, her voice squeaking as she stared at him incredulously.  "Good!"

"Whoa," he said quickly, taking a step backwards as he let his hands fall away from her body.  Holding them upright as if to defend himself, he continued, "I don't mean, 'no big deal good.'  I mean, 'okay, you're pregnant… good.'"

"And the difference?"

"Maria," he said calmly, exhibiting the emotion that he obviously felt she needed to find again in the moment.  "I think it's cool and I'm glad you told me.  How did it happen?"  Wrinkling his nose at the obvious stupidity of his question, he earned a small smile from her as he corrected himself.  "I mean, when, with who, why?  Whatever you want to share."

A slight tremble made its way through her lips, chasing her face upwards to tickle the corners of her eyes into releasing unwelcome tears.  "I'm sorry," she mumbled as the first streams of wetness wound its way down her face.  "I don't seem to be able to keep these in check lately."

"Hey," he said softly, stepping back in to place his arm around her shoulder.  Pulling her towards his body, he felt her sobs vibrating through him as he kissed the top of her head.  "It's okay, don't cry."

"Sorry, I just thought… I thought you'd be mad."

"Um… no?"  Laughing lightly, he pushed her away and found her eyes again.  "A little surprised, but I'm pretty sure it's not mine," he teased, immediately casting a serious look on his face as he asked, "Right?"

Laughing, she let a smile grace her face as she shook her head slowly.  "No, I don't think it's yours, unless you can get pregnant from kissing."  Screwing her face up she tilted her head as she recalled, "Which actually is what I believed until I was 10."

"Oh that's just wrong," Michael laughed.

"Oh God," she breathed quietly, the tentative laugh she exhibited in direct opposition to the lingering tears on her cheeks.  "I just never know how someone's going to react, you know?"

"People act weird because you're pregnant?"

"Well no," she admitted.  "People act weird when they find out _how I got pregnant."_

He looked confused for a moment, "Isn't there just the one way?"

"You'd be surprised," she replied cryptically, sensing only further confusion from him.  "Put it this way, I didn't exactly sleep with someone to conceive."

"Okay, so… well unless you're signaling the second coming of Christ, I'm assuming artificial insemination?"

"Yeah."  Shrugging, she continued, "I know 27 is still young, but I always wanted kids before I was 30 and I just figured that if I didn't _need_ a guy to do it then why wait."

"Too bad it doesn't work the same way for us," he mused quietly.

"You'd have a child on your own?" she asked with surprise.

"Well I don't know about the _having part," he smirked.  "But yeah, sure, I'd raise a child in a heartbeat."_

"So you want kids?" she asked, immediately blushing as her hand fell to rest on her stomach.  "I didn't mean…"

"No, no, I get it," he replied, smiling as he watched her embarrassment.  "But I do want kids, once we… well once I came close but…"

"It just wasn't in the cards?"

"I think I was playing the wrong game."

Maria stared at him quietly for a moment, pondering the suddenly visible crack in his hardened exterior as he scratched his eyebrow slowly.  Choosing her words carefully, she offered, "Well if it means anything, I think you'd make a great father."

His only response was a small smile and she decided then that a change of both topic and venue was required.

"How about we head out?  Get that drink you promised me?"

"You mean _non_-alcoholic drink?"

"Of course!"

"Sounds good," he replied kindly, smiling as he gestured towards the untouched beer she had offered him earlier.

"Let's save it," she suggested, screwing the cap back on as tightly as she could and laying it in the fridge.  Turning back to face him, she taunted him with a playful look on her face.  "Maybe you'll want a night cap later?"

Grinning from ear to ear, he attacked her lips with his, deliberately making an effort to show her that he was fine with her unexpected announcement.

"I'm glad you told me," he murmured.  And he truly was.

A few years ago he thought he'd have two or three kids by now, a settled life complete with a house and a white picket fence, not to mention his wife.  It seemed odd to anyone he tried to explain it to, but the boring, stable life was what he had always craved, and he'd almost had it… almost.  Maybe this time around it'd be different; maybe this time he could be a better person, maybe this time she wouldn't give up before he did.

Kissing her again softly, he pulled away and smiled down into her eyes.  She was going to have a baby, and he was going to be there to witness the whole experience… he couldn't wait.


	5. Part 5 Opposition

**Part 5  
Opposition**

Maria leaned back into the high backed armchair nestled in the corner of Michael's coffee shop and took another sip of her favored tea.  There was something different about it today, something a little… _off_.

Smiling up at the man now definitely titled 'boyfriend' staring at her from across the room, she tilted her head and pointed at the mug, mouthing 'What is it?' towards him.

He only shrugged and tossed her a secretive smile, one that she had no intention of being satiated with until she heard the clamoring of Tess and Liz approaching and pushed aside the issue of tea flavorings for her planned meeting with them.

"Hey Mommy," Tess called when she was a few feet away from the table.

"Tess," Liz whispered urgently, grasping the blonde girl's arm as she glanced around furtively.  "He'll hear you."

"It's okay," Maria laughingly interrupted them.  "He knows, I told him."

"You what?" Liz exclaimed.

"I told him I was pregnant, last night."

"Go you," Tess said approvingly, collapsing into a chair with a loud sigh.  "So you're free to poke him now?"

"I am ignoring you."

"Whatever."

"Wait," Liz interjected, taking a seat in another chair at the table.  "I thought you weren't going to tell him."

"No, I was always going to tell him," Maria said hesitantly.  "I told you that."

"Yeah Lizzie, besides, the old beach ball under the shirt story was only going to pass for so long."

Shooting death rays towards Tess, Liz frowned before turning to Maria.  "I just thought you were going to wait, see if this was really what you wanted."

"It _is_ what I wanted… what I want.  I'm sure about him and besides, he was just great about it."

"Well I still think you should have waited."

"Why?" Tess asked.

"Because," Liz said slowly, staring at Tess as if to wish the girl into oblivion.  "She just expects everyone to be fine with this, and it's not easy for people."

"Hang on, over here chica," Maria called, waving her hand towards Liz.  "Talk to me if you've got something to say.  Who is it hard for?"

"Everyone!" Liz exclaimed, her voice rising several degrees as her cheeks flushed a light shade of pink.  "You just all of a sudden up and decide you are going to have a baby and you could care less what anyone else thinks or says or… it's not easy for people to accept it, that's all I'm saying."

Staring at her obviously flustered friend for a long moment, Maria chose her words carefully as she fought to keep her own emotions in check.  "This decision was not one I made lightly, you know that.  But it was _mine and __only mine; it has nothing to do with __anyone else and I've never made it that way."_

"Yes you have!" the brunette cried.

"How?" Maria demanded.

"When you…. well just by… just the way you talk about it, okay?  You act like it's no big deal to just poof, _get_ pregnant and it's a _huge_ deal and you can't expect everyone to just be fine with it and not react.  It's just selfish!" 

"Selfish?" Tess asked wide-eyed while Maria stared silently across the table at her friend.

"Yes, I… I think you are being selfish," Liz reaffirmed, if somewhat shakily.  "Admit it, you only care about yourself and how this baby makes you feel, you don't give a damn how it affects everyone else."  Her final words were choked by a sob escaping her lips as she pressed her hand tightly to her mouth and rose quickly from her chair.  "I've got to go," she mumbled, grabbing her purse as she rushed from the coffee shop.

"Whoa," Tess said slowly, staring at the retreating form of one best friend while the other sat beside her just as stunned.  "Who pissed in her Corn Flakes?"

"Tess."

"What?  I'm just saying, the girl obviously has issues."

"Maybe," Maria said quietly, staring down at her hand still gripping the mug of tea tightly.  "Or maybe she has a point."

"Ria," Tess urged, reaching out to place a sympathetic hand on the girl's knee.  "She had no right to say that to you, whatever jealousy issues she's dealing with are hers, the least she could do is talk to you about them, not attack."

"What jealousy issues?"

"Oh come on, you know," Tess said off-handedly, leaning back in her chair.  When Maria shook her head in response, she continued.  "Liz has always had the perfectly planned life, you know that.  The first week I met her she showed me her mapped out five-year plan—it had graphs, for Christ's sake!"

Maria let a small smile fight its way through the melancholy settled on her face, quickly seeing it replaced with an even larger frown as she began to see where Tess was going with her explanation.

"She always planned to go to college, get a fabulous job, meet a terrific guy; have the perfect wedding, perfect house, perfect kids… all before 30.  Now she's 27 and instead of her being a wife and mother she's watching the two of us go through it.  We're living her dream life, it can't be easy."

A tear dripped from the corner of Maria's eye, her emotions a mix of anger and regret as she recognized the truth in Tess's words.  "So you think she was right in saying that?"

"Hell no, I think she's a bitch!"

"Don't say that," Maria pleaded softly.

"Oh come on," Tess urged.  "You know I don't mean it, but she called you selfish, that's just wrong."

"Maybe."

"Hang on.  Where's that hunk of yours?" Tess said suddenly, turning to stand from her chair.

"What?  No wait!" Maria cried softly, wiping at her teary eyes furiously as Tess headed across the shop.  "Jesus, no," she moaned, shaking her head as she watched her _former_ best friend point Michael towards the table.  The last thing she needed was to explain further tears to him; he probably already thought she was a cry-baby, now to see her weeping uncontrollably in public?  He was going to dump her in under a minute.

"What's up?" Michael asked gruffly as he took the seat Tess had vacated.

"Oh, uh… nothing, uh… nothing really," Maria mumbled, keeping her face tipped down towards her mug to avoid any chance of him seeing her red-rimmed eyes.

"Hey," he prodded, reaching out to nudge her leg lightly.  "You suddenly gone shy on me or something?  Cause I don't think I can date you if you lose that acerbic wit."

His words brought an unwilling smile to her face as she raised her head tentatively, blushing as she knew the full extent of her watery eyes were evident.  "You think you can date me if I keep crying like a baby?" she asked lamely.

"Hmm, good question," he said thoughtfully.  Pushing against the chair with his hands, he half stood as he announced, "Nah, I think the tears are the final line, sorry, not interested."

Maria couldn't control herself as fire flashed in her eyes and she pulled herself up to full height to face him.  "Well you can just…" she snapped, stopping as she saw the teasing smirk on his face.  Sinking back into her chair in defeat, she blushed further as he sat down again.  "You can just get out before it gets too tough," she mumbled.

"What?" he questioned, thoroughly confused by her statement.

"Michael," she sighed, leaning forward to stare into his eyes.  The slight courage the action took only lasted a moment and she dropped her gaze as she muttered, "You should just leave.  This is only going to screw up your life like it has mine.  Just forget about me, okay?"

"Okay, sure," he said easily, shrugging his shoulders as he eyed her carefully.  "I mean it's not like I'm invested in this or anything, right?  Just walk away, simple."

Working his jaw as he watched her complete lack of reaction to his agreement, he reached out to place his hand beneath her chin, tipping her gaze towards his as he examined her carefully.  "I thought I was supposed to be the one with the stony comebacks.  You trying to steal my moves, or what?"

"I'm not trying to steal anything," she said softly.  "I'm just trying to do the right thing.  Leave me alone, it's for the best."

"For who?" he asked incredulously.  "Come off it, I saw you fighting with Liz, what has this got to do with us?"

"Nothing… I mean, everything… I mean… Oh I don't know what I mean, okay?  I don't know what I'm trying to say and I don't have a clue how I'm supposed to feel, just that Liz so delicately pointed put my utterly selfish behavior in choosing to have this baby and now I'm trying to do the right thing and let you off the hook.  You don't have to feel obligated to stay with me because I'm _with child_… just go, cut your losses and go."

Michael stared at the woman he had just recently began referring to as his girlfriend and assembled his next words carefully; there was no way in hell he could walk away from this relationship as easily as she proposed, and he had the sneaking suspicion that she couldn't either, no matter how much confidence she tried to exude at the moment.

"You know," he started slowly.  "You sure talk a lot of nonsense for a sensible person."

"What?"

"Nonsense, all of it.  I can see why you're so good at writing fiction, cause the crap's just pouring out of your mouth today."

"What is your problem?" Maria cried, her mouth gaping open as she reacted to Michael's harsh words.  "I'm trying to do the right thing here, you're just being… you're just an a-ss!"

"Thank you," he exclaimed.  "The first sensible thing you've said since I sat down."

Two pairs of eyes glinted with fury as the so obviously perfect for each other couple faced off across the tiny table.  Michael was the first to break, cursing himself as he gave in but assuming correctly that Maria was far too damaged for one day to admit defeat.

"Come on," he said softly.  "Whatever Liz said I don't care.  I love you, okay?  Pregnant or not I want…"

"You love me?" she echoed with a whisper.

It was his turn to blush as he dropped his head and squirmed slightly in his seat.  "Well, I just…" Swallowing heavily, he shook the hair from his eyes as he faced her penetrating gaze bravely.  "Yeah, I love you," he stated firmly.  "And I could care less if Liz thinks you're selfish; I think you're beyond brave, and I wanna be part of this."

"I… I don't know what to say," she mumbled, fresh tears building as she stared at him wide-eyed.  "I guess… I guess I should say I love you too?"

"You guess?"

"N…no, I… I," she stammered as her voice, thick with tears, cracked beneath the strain of holding the wave back.  "I do, I love you, I… I think I loved you before I even knew your name," she admitted as wet eyes revealed that she was losing the battle with her emotions yet again.  "I just don't want you to get hurt by this."

"I'm a big boy, I can handle a little opposition, besides… who's going to say anything to me?"

"You're right," she said softly, smiling as she let the realization that the new man in her life really wanted to be _in_ her life sink in.  He loved her, he'd said it… and first!  And he was right, why would anyone have a problem with him dating a pregnant woman, besides Liz, no one had a problem with her, right?

"You know, you think you're pretty smart don't you?" she asked through her grin.

"No I don't, I think I'm brilliant actually," he tossed back easily.

"I guess I can't argue with that logic," she mused, taking another sip of her tea before placing it on the table.  "By the way, what is in that today?  It tastes different."

"You like?"

"I love!  But I can't place it."

"It's cinnamon."

"Chamomile, mint, and cinnamon?" Maria asked, wrinkling her nose at the noxious sounding concoction.

"Yep," Michael confirmed.  "But just a pinch, it's supposed to help your metabolism, I heard that pregnant women need that."

"You heard?" she asked incredulously.

"Don't push it, okay?" he laughed, standing from the chair to hold out his hand for her.  "Let's just get out of here."  Right now all he wanted was to get her alone in one of their apartments, hell, even his car would do, he just needed a little privacy after their completely public declarations for each other.

"Okay, but Tess…"

"Is long gone."

Looking around, Maria confirmed that Tess had indeed left the shop at some point.  "Remind me to thank my sister-in-law, will you?  That is, of course, _after_ I kill her."

Laughing, Michael took her hand and led her from the shop.  This hadn't exactly been the way he pictured telling her he loved her, in fact until the words were spoken he wasn't sure he was even aware that he would say it, well yet at least… but in the moment he knew that it was right, and he was sure that he had the feelings to back it up.

Now he just had to deal with a certain pair of siblings who would doubtlessly freak when they heard the news of Maria's 'condition'.  As they walked out of the coffee shop, Michael could already feel his cell phone vibrating in the clip on his belt.  He smiled down at the woman walking by his side and decided to ignore it… the wrath of Isabel be damned.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Michael tipped the bottle of beer to his mouth, letting the cool liquid chase his anger down his throat.  He'd managed to avoid her call for a full 24 hours but at some point he began to wonder if there wasn't something else wrong and finally caved to answer his phone.  There'd been nothing wrong of course, just the sickly sweet invitation to 'stop by' her apartment that afternoon, as if he really had the option of declining.

Now he sat on the couch nursing the Budweiser Alex had left him with, while Max sat beside him clearing his throat nervously and Isabel continued to bustle about the kitchen.  For a fleeting moment, he'd actually believed that today was about nothing more than his brother and sister wanting to get together; the moment he'd walked in the door to see the two of them whispering furtively about their latest discovery, he'd known that his initial belief was the correct one.

"So," Isabel said a little too loudly, interrupting his thoughts as she set a large bowl of chips down on the table before him.  "How are things going between you and Maria?"

"Why don't you ask Max?" Michael responded coolly.

"Wha… what would I know?" his younger brother whimpered.

"Oh come on," Michael sighed, grabbing a handful of the greasy snack as he sat back on the couch casually.  "They had their little cat fight in my shop Maxwell.  I'm sure Liz ran right to you and confessed the big secret."

"This is not about Maria and Liz," Isabel interjected, shooting Max a blatant glare that said he had left out this pertinent little detail.  "It's just about Maria… and you.  She's pregnant?"

"Yeah she is," Michael replied calmly.  "Sorry I didn't tell you myself, I guess I forgot that it was none of your business."

"Michael."

"Isabel, consider this your only warning, we are _not_ talking about this."

"But…"

"No friggin' buts," he said loudly, grabbing his beer to take another long swig.  "This is not about _her little sister—everything is not going to be about __her for the rest of my God damn life."_

"I know that, I do," Isabel pleaded, staring at Max for support as she wavered in her previously well-planned argument.  "I just think you have to consider the consequences."

"What consequences?" Michael queried, rising from the couch to walk across the room.  "She's pregnant, okay?  It's not mine and I don't even know how much she wants me to be there, but if she does, then I will… it's that simple."

"Is it?" Max asked softly.

"Yes, it is," his brother replied sternly.  "And let me just congratulate you on brother of the year while I'm at it.  You can't keep a secret to yourself for more than five minutes?  How old are you?  12?"

"But I… I…"

"Stop it, both of you," Isabel interjected loudly.  "We are not trying to fight with you Michael, we just want you to think about…"

"Think about what?" he asked, his anger obvious although his voice still held a slim fragment of composure.  "Think about whether I want to wait another five years until I _maybe_ meet another girl that is perfect for me but who happens to not already be pregnant?  Why?  So I can knock her up myself?  Please…"

Standing from her chair, Isabel couldn't mask the tears that welled in her eyes as she faced off against her older brother.  "I just want what's best for you, you know that?"

"Well did you ever think that I am the best judge of what's best for me?"

"Of course, I just…"

"Look," he interrupted, holding his hand out to stop any further attempts at the pitiful explanations Isabel was providing.  "I know Kara was important to you, hell, she was everything to me, but she's gone and nothing's ever going to change that."

"Maybe something…"

"No!" Michael roared suddenly, shattering the forced calm that had descended upon the room.  "You put her on this pedestal that she _never deserved, even she'd tell you that, and you have no idea what really happened back then so just drop it."_

"But you _told_ us what happened, she couldn't get pregnant so you… you…" Max attempted.

"Go on, say it," Michael dared him.  "We all know it.  She couldn't get pregnant so I left her.  I mean, that's what _had to have happened, right?  What other possible explanation could there be for the 'super' couple getting a divorce."_

"Michael," Isabel whispered.  "If there's another explanation…"  
  


"No," he muttered, turning away from his siblings as he shook his head in disgust.  "No other explanation, just you believing the lies and me living with the guilt."

"Lies?" Isabel mumbled incomprehensibly.

"Yes… lies.  All of it was one big lie, okay?"

Michael was panting from the effort of fighting off their attack.  That they had never meant harm in their prodding escaped him as he was forced to relive the day that his entire universe swung around on its axis and landed in a direction that he neither recognized nor craved.  Backed into a corner by his startling revelation that what his family believed to be the truth about his life was a fabrication, he suddenly felt as if the room had shrunk, trapping him in the confines of an enclosed space with two crazed creatures craving even the tiniest fragment of truth from him.

"I am not talking about this," he muttered, lowering his gaze to stare dumbly at the beer still clutched in his hand as he spoke to no one in particular.

"Okay," Isabel said softly, slowly moving towards him across the distance he had so carefully placed between them.

"I am not telling you what happened," he continued, a slight tremor evident in his arm as his grip tightened on the bottle.

"It's okay," she repeated, closing the remaining feet separating them as she gingerly reached out to remove the glass object from his hand.  Gently, she placed her hand atop his, her touch soothing enough to relax his muscles, the bottle dropping easily, safely, into her hold.

"I am not going back there," he murmured beneath his breath, the quivering from his arm moving into his chest as his entire body began to convulse.

"You don't have to," she whispered, placing a hand on his shoulder as she waited to gauge how much of a reaction from her he was willing to accept.

Stiffening beneath the new contact on his body, Michael straightened his stature as he stared down the caring eyes examining him, wincing beneath the sheer love residing there as he shifted his gaze quickly to Max and back again.  

When Kara had told him the news that she was leaving all those years before, he'd only had minutes to react before his 'loving' family had descended upon him, attempting to console him while they in fact smothered his very existence.  Cursing them for their love was pointless but in the moment he had wanted to do it so badly.  They were just concerned, anyone would be, but as much as he knew that, he also knew that he needed time before he could admit the real reason that his wife wanted to divorce him.  That five years had passed without him ever admitting the truth to them wasn't his fault, was it?

"Look, I never told you the truth because I didn't want you to hate her, okay?  She couldn't help the way she felt, and I wasn't going to damn her even more than she damned herself."

Neither of his siblings spoke as they watched him cautiously from their respective positions.

Swallowing heavily, Michael summoned his last strains of strength to admit the nightmare that was his life to the two people closest to him.  "I didn't break up with her because she couldn't get pregnant.  I wanted kids.  She left because she didn't."

The instantaneous silence that settled over the room roared through Michael's ears.  Gauging the reaction on their faces would have been a good move if he was able to force himself to think.  Lying to them about Kara so long ago had never been a conscious decision.  She'd told him she was leaving and they'd naturally asked him why?  Blaming it on her when he felt as though it was his fault just wasn't an option, so he'd lied—he'd told them it was his decision; that her inability to bare children was just something he couldn't live with.

"Why?" Isabel mumbled, her face ashen as she dealt with the realization that she'd actually believed Michael's uncharacteristic actions.

"To protect her," he offered lamely.

"Michael…" Max chastised softly.

"Don't Max, don't start with me," he cautioned, unable to stand one word of the patented 'I'm disappointed in you' tone that his little brother had perfected.

"I'm not, I just… why would you protect her?  I mean, if it was her fault…"

"Because she was my wife," Michael snapped, as if it were the most obvious reason to lie to your family.  "It doesn't matter if we were only 18 when we took those vows, they meant something, and when she… well when she left I thought they always would."

"And now?" Isabel asked.

"And now they don't," he replied simply.

"Really?"

"Yes, Iz," he sighed.  "They haven't meant anything for a long time.  I just didn't want to dredge it all up."

"And now?"

"You sound like a broken record," Michael teased quietly.

Smiling a little, Isabel stepped towards the guarded man as she repeated her question.  "I mean, why now?  Why tell us now?"

"Oh, I don't know, maybe cause you attacked me?"

She struggled to respond, stammering, "I… I…"

"I think she means we're sorry," Max said quietly, stepping up to his sister as her shoulders shook with threatened tears.

The obvious sincerity in his voice struck Michael heavily but he could only nod an acknowledgement at the pair; any attempt at words would have resulted in him resembling Isabel a little closely for his liking.

"You know… you know I think you'll make a great father, don't you?  Natural or not, Maria's lucky to have you."

"Yeah well… she doesn't know the whole story yet," he mumbled, shaking his head as he thought about the task of telling his pregnant girlfriend that he was divorced.

"She's not going to care."

'Maybe.' Michael thought.  Or maybe she'd think that a guy who's failed marriage was directly related to children wasn't worth the effort, either way he knew that he had to tell her, consequences be damned, if he was going to make this work, he had to start out honestly… he was just glad that she obviously liked kids.


	6. Part 6 Revelations

**Part 6  
Revelations**

Michael knocked rapidly on the door to Isabel's apartment.  He was supposed to pick Laney up 10 minutes ago and had left Maria in his double-parked vehicle while he ran inside.

"She ready?" he asked quickly as Alex opened the door.

"You kidding?  She was ready at five o'clock this morning."

"Unca Mica!" the little girl exclaimed as she flung herself across the living room into his arms.  "I alweady for Donalls."

"Donalls?" Alex asked disapprovingly.  "I don't think Uncle Michael is taking you to McDonald's today sweetie."

"But he awways…"

Clasping his hand over the little girl's mouth, Michael cut off her admission that a trip to the kid-friendly restaurant was on their list of regular places to visit.  Smirking at Alex, he lowered his niece to the ground as he offered, "I don't know what she's talking about, man."

"Sure, uh-huh," her Dad said laughingly.  "Just don't let Iz find out."

"Find out what?"

"That we're going to…"

"The playground," Michael offered quickly.  "I'm taking her to the playground."

"It's the dead of winter!" Isabel exclaimed.

"So, she's dressed warmly."

"Yeah Mommy, I luv da schwings."

Michael fought to hide the laugh bubbling in his throat as he shared a glance with Alex; Laney was quick, he had to give the toddler that much.  Leaning down to grasp her stuffed overnight bag from the floor, he held his hand out to the little girl as they prepared to leave.

"I'll take her," Alex interjected, hoisting the child into his arms as he took the bag back from Michael.  "I think you've been 'summoned' again."

Glancing at Isabel, Michael saw her wringing her hands together nervously as her husband and daughter departed the house.  Great.  He knew it was too much to hope that she was ready to put their little confrontation behind them so soon.

"What's up?"

"Oh, I'm just worried… about Laney.  You know how she gets when we go away."

"She'll be fine Iz."

"I know, she adores you, but…"

"And I'll be fine too."

Dropping her eyes, Isabel's cheeks blushed as her true intent was uncovered.  "And us?" she asked timidly.

"And us," he confirmed.  "We're good, just leave it, okay?"

"I just know what she meant to you."

"You are incapable of 'leaving it', aren't you?" Michael asked, the stern look on his face softened by the light tone in his voice.

"Fine," she relented, throwing her hands up in defeat.  "But don't think you are off the hook yet, I expect major babysitting time out of this one."

"My pleasure," he said smiling, stepping into the hug she offered as he simultaneously stepped towards the door.  "Now I've got to go, she's going to have Maria's ear talked off by the time I get down there."

"Maria's going?  Have you…"

"Bye Isabel," he droned, stepping through the door as she attempted another prying step into his life.  She meant well, Michael knew it, but he had to tell Maria when the time was right, not while they were babysitting his niece.

Michael hurried outside to the Jeep, smiling as he watched Laney's mouth chattering away as Alex finally finished strapping her in her car seat.  Tossing a wave at his brother-in-law, he climbed behind the wheel and glanced at Maria quickly before smiling at Laney in the rear-view mirror.

"All ready?" he asked.

"Yes!" Laney cheered loudly, earning a soft chuckle from both Maria and Michael.

"We aren't weally going on the schwings are we Unca Mica?  I tink it's too cold."

"No sweets, we're going to…"

"Donalls!"

Maria smiled as she turned to watch the little girl happily swinging her legs against the dark gray leather interior of Michael's vehicle.  It never seemed to amaze her how great a guy that appeared so closed-off at times could be around kids.  Losing herself in the sights of the frozen city swirling by her window, she half-listened to Laney excitedly relating the intricacies of her daily events to Michael, letting her mind fall back to something he had said a few nights ago, '…once I came close…'  What did that mean?

"We're here ladies," Michael announced, shattering her reverie as he stopped outside a super-sized McDonald's.

"Oh Laney, they have a play room too!" Maria observed.

"Of course dey do M'Ria," the child said as she let Michael unbuckle her seat belt.  "You tink I come here for d'amburgers?"

Giggling, Maria slid out of the Jeep, shaking her head at Michael as he stifled a laugh.  'The child was simply priceless,' she thought to herself, the secret hope that her own baby grew up to be so adorable rippling through her subconscious.  Walking around the vehicle, she met Michael holding Laney's hand and smiled down at the little girl.

"M'Ria, do you tum here all da time?" Laney asked as they walked into the restaurant.

"No sweetie, not very much at all.  Why?"

"Be'tause you look fatter den when I saw you at 'Tristmas."

"Oh Lord," Michael groaned, lifting the child into his arms as they approached the door.  "You know you aren't supposed to tell people that they look fat, it's not nice."

"But she does Unca.  Look at her tummy!"

"It's okay Laney," Maria struggled to gasp between giggles.  "I guess I did get a little fatter."

"See Unca?"

Michael could only shake his head as he pulled open the door and carried Laney inside.

"I don't wan my Happy Box yet, I go pway first."

"Okay, but stay where we can see you," he instructed, lowering her to the ground and removing her coat before letting her join the other kids scrambling through the famous ball bin.

Leading Maria to a table near the playroom, Michael took a seat where he could see Laney already diving headfirst into the melee of gleeful children all hopped up on the promise of a Happy Meal.

"She's adorable," Maria sighed quietly.  "Do we tell her why I'm so fat all of a sudden?"

"Ah, I don't know if she understands," Michael replied.

"Good point, but you might want to tell Isabel… in case she has questions.  I mean, I'm only going to get fatter?" she said smiling.

"Well Isabel already knows," he offered hesitantly.

"You told her?"

"Well Max did, I guess Liz spilled it.  That okay?"

"Yeah sure, it's not a secret, just… how'd she take it?" she asked, remembering clearly Isabel's questions about skeletons in her closet when they had first met.

"Fine, she was fine," Michael said distantly.

"Really… that good huh?" Maria teased.

Smiling, Michael dropped his gaze as he fiddled with the edge of the plastic table.  "She's just… protective, even of her _big brother.  But she didn't have a problem with you being pregnant."_

"Okay…" she responded slowly.  "But she did have a problem with…"

"Ah, here is so not the place I imagined telling you this."

"There's something to tell?"

Taking a deep breath, Michael faced Maria squarely, the urge to just close his eyes and blurt it out rapidly strong, but fightable.  "I used to be married… a long time ago."

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh," he echoed.

"Well, that's no big deal, right?  I mean you aren't still, are you?" she asked, laughing hollowly.

"No, not still, not for a while now."

"Okay, well… what's the problem?"

"The problem… is that we got divorced over kids.  I always wanted a child, I told you that, and she… well, she didn't."

"Wow," Maria murmured softly.  "I know there are lots of women who don't want kids, but you must have been so young, was she sure?"

"Pretty sure, it was enough to make her leave."

"So she… she was the one…"

"Yep, my wife of five years divorced me."

"But you're not bitter…" Maria prodded.

Wincing at the truthfulness of her words, Michael closed his eyes briefly as he pondered how he could make it clear to her that he really was over Kara.  "It still stings sometimes, I won't lie to you, but I know now that we had a great infatuation, high school sweethearts and all that, but it wasn't a solid relationship; there was no common ground between us.  We were just crazy kids in love, it's just not enough… or wasn't for us…"

"How old were you?"

"When we got divorced?"

"No, married."

"Oh… 18."

"That _is young."_

"Yeah, it is."

Silence settled between them, punctured only by the sounds of children's laughter resonating through the glass enclosed play room.  Laney's red-cheeked face pressed up against the window as she waved as them and dove back in the balls for another rousing game of 'hide-and-scare-the-other-kid'.

Watching her, Maria suddenly felt her eyes drawn away from the happy child and towards the man sitting beside her.  His expression was pensive, his eyes unfocused as he stared at the children, a small smile playing at his lips.  In that moment, she was flooded with an overwhelming sense that what he wanted more than anything in the world was to be a father.  Past marriage or not, it was obvious that Michael Guerin was destined to be a Dad—what difference did it make if the child was not biologically his.

"Hey," she whispered, snaking her hand across the table to grasp his tightly.  "Maybe in a couple of years we can try making one of those together.  What do you say?"

Surprised, he turned his head to gaze down into her eyes.  Sincerity was the only emotion revealed there and he felt the threat of tears wash over his body.  Leaning slowly towards her, he melted his mouth to hers, a kiss to seal the deal all that was necessary.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Maria bent her ear to the door, straining to interpret the murmurings coming from the living room as actual conversation.  Michael had just showed up for their standing Wednesday night date, a celebration of another week in her pregnancy, and Kyle, ever the protective brother, was 'welcoming him'.

'More like interrogating,' she thought.

Sighing, she hurried to her closet to find something that fit her yet didn't make her look like she was wearing a muumuu; she had reached the 16 week mark today and could no longer hide her protruding stomach with a bulky sweater, it was all maternity clothes, all the time.

"I've got to do some serious shopping," she mused, digging deeper into her bureau as the voices from the living room continued their chattering.

"So, it's Michael, right?  Not Mike?" Kyle asked.

"Yeah, Michael."

"Right, sooo… you and my sister, hey?"

"Yeah, guess so."

"You guess so?"

Sighing, Michael ran a nervous hand through his hair as he faced off against Maria's brother; Kyle was so much like Isabel it almost made him laugh… almost.  "Yes okay?  Yes, me and Maria."

Moving to sit down, Kyle gestured towards the couch for Michael to take a seat.  Leaning back, he crossed one foot over his knee as he remarked, "So what are your intentions exactly?"

"Holy s-hit man, does she know you're out here asking this?"  Michael laughed as he sat where the smaller boy indicated, shaking his head at the railing Maria would doubtlessly give her brother if she walked in.

"I'm just making sure," Kyle mumbled, raising his hands as he backed off.

"Well how about this?  As soon as she pops this one I plan on knocking her up as quickly as possible and keeping her that way.  Barefoot and pregnant… and in the kitchen, good?"

Kyle stared, slack-jawed across the room as he listened to Michael's vow.

Michael on the other hand sat back against the sofa and smiled confidently.  He'd heard a door opening from down the hall while Kyle was talking and saw Maria approaching throughout their conversation.  Laughing silently, he watched as Kyle was just about to open his mouth for a retort when she entered the room fires blazing.

"Kyle James Valenti!" Maria shrieked.  "You can't be sensible for five minutes?  I asked you to make him comfortable, not give him the third degree."

Marching across the room, Michael thought she had never looked cuter as her stomach peeked out of the tight black top she had stretched across it and she waved her arms above her head towards her brother.  She was feisty, he'd give her that much.

"Jesus," she growled beneath her breath, already smiling as she punched Kyle in the arm and turned back to face Michael.  Panting, she painted a smile above her embarrassment and explained lightly, "The i-dot over here never learned his manners, see?  It's not his fault, I think he was raised by wolves."

Smirking, Michael tried to hide his laughter as he asked, "I-dot?"

"Oh i-dot…"

"Maria don't," Kyle whined.

"Uh-uh, buddy.  You had your chance to play nice and you blew it.  Retribution's a bitch."

Turning back to Michael, Maria explained quickly, "When Kyle was a junior, he wanted to 'tell-off' our math teacher, so he went to class early and wrote a message on the board, then pulled down the overhead screen so you couldn't see it.  During class, like always, the teacher pulled up the screen and read the message.  Everyone was snickering, but then he turned around and said very calmly, 'I think someone's an i-dot.'  The message said 'Mr. Keeping's an idot' instead of _idiot!"_

"Oh man, that's lame," Michael murmured as a flustered Kyle rose from his chair.

"Thanks sis," he muttered, shrugging into his jacket by the door.

"Oh come on," Maria gasped, holding her stomach as she walked towards her brother.  "You wanted to find out his darkest secrets, there's one of yours."

"I will get you back for this," her brother threatened lightly, accepting the hug she offered as he tipped his hand towards Michael.  "Nice meeting you," he offered, turning towards the door before stopping suddenly.  "Oh yeah, and if one word of what you said was true, you don't have to worry about me killing you, she will."

With that, Kyle escaped the apartment before Maria could shriek at him again, the door slamming amidst the laughter echoing throughout the room.

"As I said, you have to excuse him."

"Not a problem."

"Okay, I'm almost ready, why don't you get a beer and I'll be right back, okay?"

Maria walked back towards her bedroom while Michael headed for the fridge to grab a drink.  The light clinking of Budweiser bottles as he opened the door brought a smile to his face—she couldn't drink them but yet kept her fridge fully stocked, he was beyond impressed.

Settling back on the couch a moment later, he took a long sip of his beer and reached forward to lay it on the coffee table.  Papers were spread haphazardly across the surface and he shuffled them together as he looked for a coaster.  The top sheet was a typewritten half page of text that caught his attention.  Knowing he shouldn't look, the temptation to read it was even stronger and he found his eyes roaming over the words before he could pull away. 

_I've learned that you can find change in the oddest of places—on a park bench when the soft whistle of a blue jay soothes your muddled thoughts, in a crowded subway car when a homeless person looks into your soul with piercing eyes and you know that they have found their own peace, in the frozen food aisle at midnight when you see a woman counting change to afford food for her kids and you suddenly appreciate your own meager possessions.  
  
In my short years, I have been changed in different ways by all of these things and more.  It has come to the point where I look for it, crave it, need the infusion of a new source of inspiration to push my life along its otherwise normal path.  The most recent has come yet again in the form of a person; this time a man I do not know, yet feel an inexplicable closeness to.  I watch him as he traverses through his life, oblivious to my prying eyes soaking up the intricacies of his world.  He is fascinating—complex and simple, hidden and laid bare… all at the same time.  It is almost as if there are two people residing in one body, the completely at ease, open-hearted shopkeeper and the sheltered, scared child that I cannot uncover… yet.  
  
Casual smiles, kind comments, a relaxed nature—all make me feel as if I am observing confidence personified.  Then there are the eyes, the sheltered pearls that glisten with an age he has not earned in years, but experience.  It is from the eyes that his true beauty emerges, the gentleness of his being only taking him so far, the gaze pushing him to a height achieved by few.  
  
The best part is that he doesn't even know his magnificence, oblivious to the beauty residing within, it resonates around him… and I am changed._

"What are you doing?" Maria whispered as she entered the living room to see him bent over the table.  She immediately recognized the paper clutched in his hand, wincing at the thought that she knew what he had read.

"Oh, I'm just… I'm just," he stammered, glancing down at the page quickly before raising his head to meet her eyes.  "I was just looking and I… I just found this…"

"And you decided to read it?"

"I didn't know what it was."

"It's okay," she said softly, sighing as she walked around the couch to sit by him.  Gently reaching to detach the page from his hand, she held it delicately, the memory it brought painting a smile on her face.  "I just wanted to give it to you, tell you why first."

"Why?"

"Yeah, why I wrote it," she said shrugging.

"Well it's about… I mean it's not about…"

"It's you," she replied simply.

"Me?"

Blushing, she lowered her eyes to the paper, tracing the printed words lightly with her finger.  "I wrote it before… when you were just 'coffee shop guy' and I was watching you."

Michael cleared his throat nervously before mumbling, "Well you've really got some talent."

Maria laughed as she recognized the expression on his face as one of disbelief.  "What," she teased.  "You think you're such a big mystery, Mr. Guerin."

"Well…" he mumbled.  "You're the first to sum it up like that."  Taking the paper from her hands, he scanned the words again, a small smile spreading on his face.  "Can I keep it?"

"Of course, you remember that day in your shop where I promised to get you a Christmas present?"

"For the tea?"

"Yeah," she said softly as she reached out to lay a gentle hand on his leg.  Leaning forward until she was staring directly into his bashful eyes, she hesitated for a moment before whispering, "Merry Christmas."  An instant later her lips were locked with his, the nervousness she felt at his reading her words dispelled as he obviously found joy in them.  She hadn't planned on letting him read her little insight, not yet at least, but things with them didn't seem to be progressing at a normal pace anyway, she supposed revealing how she first saw him didn't make much difference at this point.

"So, the guy with Captain Morgan eyes is all right in your books?" he asked quietly as they broke apart.

"Oh the Captain's on top with me any day."

"On top?" he teased lightly.

"Well…" she suggested seductively.  "You know it's not too late or anything, I mean… we could."

"We… we can?"

Standing, Maria kept her eyes tied to his as she pulled his arm gently.  Moving towards the hallway, she shook her head as she murmured beneath her breath, "Tess is going to freak."

"What?"

"Nothing," she said smiling, leading him into her bedroom before shutting the door securely behind them.  Tess and everything else could wait until tomorrow, tonight, it was just about them.


	7. Part 7 Confessions

**Part 7  
Confessions**

Stirring the next morning, Maria smiled at the memory of Michael's arms locked around her as she slept.  His touch had proven as sensitive as his manner, caressing her body delicately as he lay beside her in awe of her pregnant state.  Rolling over, she reached out a desperate hand towards his side of the bed, frowning when she felt the now cold surface, wondering if his presence had been merely a dream.  It was then that the smell of sizzling bacon and puffing pancakes reached her nose and she grinned broadly—no dream, just bliss.

Moving to put on her robe, she was halfway across the bedroom when the phone rang and she turned back to answer it.

"Hello," she said lightly.

"Maria?  It's me."

"Tess!  Oh girl, you are not going to believe…"

"Something happened to Liz, she's in the hospital."

"Wha…" Maria mumbled, stunned by Tess's abrupt confession.

"I don't know much, I just called her work and they said she collapsed a couple of hours ago.  They took her to St. Mike's."

"Okay, okay, oh God… umm…"

"Kyle's coming over to get you, okay?  I'll meet you there."

"Okay… no wait.  You go with Kyle, I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"Yes, does Max know?"

"Oh, no, well… I don't know…"

"Okay, I'll call him and meet you there; 30 minutes."

Receiving an affirmative reply from Tess, Maria hung up the phone and hurried to the kitchen where she could hear Michael working on breakfast.  Looking up, she was shaken from her determined path for a moment as she observed him standing over the stove clad in only his jeans, his back rippling with muscles her fingers had reveled in exploring last night.  Along his left shoulder blade ran the evidence that he had indeed pleased her, the mark her fingernails had branded into his skin still a bright red in the early light.

"Hey sleepyhead," he tossed lightly, smiling as he turned to see her approach.  Reaching for the kettle of boiling water, he poured it in a prepared mug, her favorite tea being brewed at home on this morning.

"Something's happened," she said quietly, laying a hand on his arm as she approached.  "Put the tea in a thermos and call your brother.  It's Liz."

The seriousness in her eyes was immediately understood by him as urgent and he obeyed her orders robotically.  Five minutes later she led him from the apartment building, one hand holding her tea tightly, the other clutched onto his.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Rushing into the hospital, Maria saw Kyle and Tess standing helplessly at the emergency room entrance.  Hurrying up to them, she breathlessly asked, "How is she?"

"I don't know, they won't tell us anything," Tess replied helplessly.

"What?  Why?"

"Family only."

"Well did you tell them you were her sister?"

"What?  No!"

"Come on," Maria said with heavy exasperation, tugging forcefully on Tess's arm as she led her to the administration desk.

Watching them leave, Kyle shoved his hands deeper into his pockets and nodded slightly at Michael.  "So, you came by and picked her up, hey?  It's pretty early."

"Uh…" Michael struggled briefly, eyeing the protective brother warily as he wondered what the correct response was.  "Uh… no, I didn't pick her up."

"What… she dropped by your place?"

Knowing that Maria would probably throw a conniption fit if she heard the bullheaded questions Kyle was asking, Michael decided that a straight-forward approach was called for.  "No, I was cooking your 27-year-old sister breakfast after I spent the night.  And this time I'm _not joking," he stated evenly._

"So your intentions now would be?" Kyle prodded.

"Man you got balls," Michael murmured, shaking his head at the stubborn, if uncalled for, need to protect a sister that was obviously capable of caring for herself.  "They're honorable, okay?"

"Maybe but she's not just a regular girl, she's pregnant you know."

"Really?  I hadn't noticed!" Michael remarked snidely.

"I just want to make sure…"

"We're… let's just leave it with I'm not going to hurt her."

"If you do, I'll…"

"You know, that'd carry a lot more weight if you were about a foot taller."

"Well if you'd cut your hair out of your eyes, maybe you'd have a chance…"

"Are you two serious?" Maria screeched in a high-pitched whisper.  "Jesus, you I expect it from," she said to her younger brother.  "But you?" she asked, turning to Michael.

"No, I was just…" Michael hurried to explain.  
  


"Save it.  Liz is upstairs and the 'Parker' sisters," she said, pointing to herself and Tess.  "Have been granted visitation.  Wait for Max and meet us on 6 South."

"Okay but…" Michael started again.

"Later," she mumbled, thoroughly pissed at the childish behavior exhibited by the pair.  Turning on her heel, she led Tess away towards the bank of elevators as Michael shot poison tipped darts into Kyle's eye sockets.

"Maria wait," Kyle suddenly called, running after her as Michael felt a mix of stupidity and helplessness wash over him.

Catching her as she was repeatedly punching the up button, Kyle grabbed her arm lightly and maneuvered himself into her line of vision.  "It was me, okay?" he confessed.  "I was giving him a hard time but I just… I just don't want you to do something stupid."

"Like what?" she hissed.  "Like go out and get myself pregnant while I'm not married?  Sorry if I'm not _regular_ enough for you bro."

"What?  No!  I didn't…"

"Chill, I know you didn't mean it, no one _means it…"  Working her jaw tightly, she blinked back tears as she stared at the one family member she relied on completely and sighed.  "I'm just a little sensitive about this, okay?  I need him Kyle, and he loves me.  I'm really happy and whether he's the father or not, I intend on letting him be the Dad… if he wants to."_

"If…"

"Well I didn't actually extend an invitation."

"Somehow I don't think that's a problem," he murmured.

"What?"

"Nothing.  Just go upstairs and I'll apologize to him, good?"

Nodding, Maria pounded the elevator call button another three times as Tess stood by solemnly.  When the door opened, Maria entered, followed by Tess who, without so much as a frown crossing her face, pinched her husband hard on the arm as she passed.

Kyle sighed as the door slid shut in front of him, knowing that he had two difficult tasks ahead of him—apologize to the new man in his sister's life and face a week of wife-imposed celibacy… great.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Darkness swathed Liz in a protective cover as she lay still in her hospital bed.  Her mind had fallen from utter denial to complete numbness an immeasurable amount of time ago and now the only force keeping her body churning was the intravenous line pumping life-sustaining fluids into her hand.  A break in the cocoon of nothingness encompassing her world went unnoticed by her mind, the approaching footsteps of her worried 'sisters' unheard by a brain that refused to process any further information.

"Liz… Lizzie?"

A soft voice was calling to her from somewhere far away and she wondered briefly if maybe she hadn't hidden herself somewhere out of sight, if maybe the voice wasn't searching for her without result.

"Hey babe, it's us."

Another voice joined in with the first, this one softer, more tentative, and she suddenly felt sad for ignoring them, for hiding from them.

"I… I'm here," she murmured, unaware that the words came out like incomprehensible mumblings.

"Sweetie," Maria urged lightly, laying her hand gently on Liz's arm as she pleaded with her to awaken.

"Mar… Maria?"

"Hey girl," she said softly as she peered into the dark pools of her girlfriend's eyes.  "How are you?"

"I… I… I'm so sorry."

"What?"

Liz swallowed thickly through the fog still shrouding her throat.  "I said… I'm sorry," she repeated.

"You don't…"

"Help me," Liz asked, fighting to move into a sitting position.  Both girls moved in to raise her bed, supporting her with pillows behind her back.

"Easy," Tess cautioned as she settled back into place.  "Tell us what happened?"

"The doctor said hem… hemorrhaging."

"What?  How?" Maria gasped.

"I didn't… I didn't want to tell you because I was embarrassed," she mumbled beneath her breath.

"Hey you," Maria said sternly, reaching out with her hand to raise Liz's chin towards her.  Meeting her eyes squarely, she promised, "A stupid little fight is not going to come between us okay?  I should have called you a week ago."

"No really, I was a bitch," Liz said earnestly, strength seeping back into her voice as she slid her arm along the bed to clasp Maria's hand tightly.  "Tess agrees, don't you?"

"Well…" the blonde girl mumbled, shrugging her shoulders from the opposite side of the bed.

Letting the faintest of smiles flit across her face, Liz turned her gaze back to Maria and stared into her eyes purposefully.  "I just couldn't deal with it, when I had…" her voice faded as she struggled with the words.  "I had a miscarriage."

"What?" Tess shrieked.

"What?" Maria asked a little more calmly.

"When we fought… I had just found out I was pregnant a couple of days before that.  I was so freaked," she said softly.  "I wanted to tell you, I did, but then I started spotting…. a day later and I had miscarried.  When we were in the shop… I… I had just found out."

"Oh sweetie," Maria cried softly, leaning into envelop her friend in her arms.  "You could have told me."

"I know, I know," the brunette mumbled, wiping her eyes furiously as she struggled to keep her emotions in check.  "I just… I was just so angry at you, just for being so happy… I never should have said those things."

"Forget it, I mean it," Maria said firmly, straightening her body as she eyed Liz evenly.  "The most important thing is you, are you okay?"

"The doctor said I could leave tomorrow.  I just lost a lot of blood."

"Good, and you're coming home with me," Maria vowed.  Stopping Liz's objection before it was even raised, she lifted her hand in the air in protest.  "I don't even want to hear it, didn't you know I could be a bitch too?"

Laughing lightly, Liz bowed her head as she smiled at Maria's words.  "Thank you," she whispered, unable to meet the blonde's gaze.

"Anytime, you know that.  But how are you… you know, how are you dealing?"

"Oh God," Liz breathed.  "Relieved in a way I guess.  I mean I want kids, for sure, and I thought they'd be here by now, but Max and I… well things are good, but it's just so early."

"I know, it's still hard though."

"Oh hey!" Tess exclaimed suddenly, sitting on the bed to pat Liz's leg excitedly.  "You boinked the goody-two-shoes!  How was he?" 

"Tess!" Liz groaned, shaking her head in mock anger as she fought to keep the smile from her face.

"Honestly," Maria muttered, her own voice tinged with laughter as she chastised her forward friend.

"What?  Just because you're not getting any…"

"Well…" Maria drawled.

"No shit… with the stud?  Ah!" Tess shrieked, clamping her hand over her mouth as she recognized the inappropriateness of her behavior.  "How was _he?" she whispered.  "I bet he's a stallion!"_

"Tess!  Oh my Lord!"

"What?" the blonde cried indignantly.  "It gets boring with the same person over and over; there are only so many positions that I can force Kyle into."

"Ugh, that's it!" Maria said loudly, laughing as she stood from her seat by Liz's bed.  "You get some rest," she directed to the patient, leaning in to plant a kiss on her cheek.  "And you come with me, let's see if I can find some soap."

"Hands dirty?"

"No, your mouth is!"

Dragging Tess behind her, Maria walked purposefully towards the door as it opened to see Max bursting in.

"Over there Romeo," Tess said lightly, half running as Maria pulled her the rest of the way outside.

Looking up, Maria saw Michael and Kyle standing in the hallway, her boyfriend looking decidedly more nervous than her brother.

"She's gonna be okay," she offered quietly, releasing Tess's arm as she shot her a warning glance.  "This one I'm not so sure of."

"And you…" Kyle prompted, nodding his head towards Michael as he did.

Sighing, Maria shook her head as she met the soulful eyes of the man she loved.  "You weren't saying anything before, were you?  I mean, it was all numb nuts over there?" she said as she gestured at Kyle.

"They are _not_ numb," he objected.

"They will be," Tess growled, earning an appreciative glance from Maria as she stepped in to twist his ear lightly.  "What's wrong with you?  Can't you see they're perfect for each other?  If Ria wants him to be the baby's Daddy then who are you to…"

A moment too late, Tess suddenly knew why her friends always teased her about her big mouth and abruptly stopped talking.  "Oh God," she whispered, her face paling.  "I'm sorry."

Maria was too shocked to stay anything while Michael only stared at her in a stunned silence.

"You want?" he murmured.

"Come here," Kyle hissed, dragging his wife away from the pair as they stared at each other helplessly.

"I, uh… well, I…" Maria stammered, swallowing heavily as she kept her gaze locked with his.  Inhaling deeply, she blinked once, slowly, and admitted, "Yes, I want."

"You want," he repeated slowly.

"Look, I know this might be a little fast," she breathed quickly.  "But this feels good, no?"

Catching a slow nod from Michael, she hurried to finish her admission.  "I don't want to push things, but I feel like I've known you forever, it's just… right, somehow, and honestly?  I used to think that the only way to raise this baby was on my own.  Now I can't imagine doing it without you.  _Only you."_

"Oh God, I…" he mumbled dumbly.

"I'm sorry, it's too much… too soon."

"No," he silenced her, raising his finger to place it across her rushing lips.  Leaning in to whisper against their cherry stained surface, he breathed slowly, "It's perfect."


	8. Part 8 Epiphanies

**Part 8  
Epiphanies**

Maria scrambled to grab the ringing phone as she juggled a head of Romaine lettuce against her swollen belly.

"Hello," she gasped, fighting to nestle the phone against her shoulder as she dumped the ingredients for the salad she was preparing on the counter.

"Hey, we're here.  Let us up!"

Tess's voice rang loudly through the receiver, signaling the arrival of her and Kyle for the dinner party Maria was preparing.  Punching 'six' with her thumb, Maria dropped the phone on the counter as she hurriedly attacked the lettuce.

"They'd better be here to help," she mumbled as she turned to furiously whisk the 'from scratch' salad dressing she had attempted to make.  Normally she was a confident cook, but this evening marked the first time since Christmas that the expanded group of friends she now found herself a part of had gathered together—she wanted to make it perfect.

Hearing a knock on the front door, she said a silent thank you that she had left it unlocked as a moment later Tess burst into the room.

"Whoa babe, I could have been a serial killer," she called loudly from the living room.

"Yes," Maria said sarcastically as she stepped into the doorway adjoining the rooms.  "A vicious killer with a dye job, I'm sure."

"Oh!  And you expect me to help?"

Laughing, Maria nodded towards the dining room as she turned back into the kitchen.  "Yes, and remember… forks go on the left!"

Kyle smirked behind Tess's back as she cursed beneath her breath and playfully stomped towards the table.  The two girls had been holding their own against each other since the day they met; as he sat back on the couch to grab the remote, he had to wonder how they were still on speaking terms.

"Oh, and you can get your feet off the table and grab those extra chairs little brother."

"What?  But you can't even see me?" Kyle whined in the general direction of the kitchen.

"No, but you forget I watched you grow up, you lazy toad.  Move it!"

"Jeez," he grumbled as he pushed himself off the couch.  "Why isn't Michael here doing this anyway?"

"Because he worked today and he wanted to go home and get cleaned up first."

Returning from the spare bedroom with the first chair, Kyle continued his moaning as he observed, "I don't know why the two of you don't just move in together, he practically lives here anyway."

"How many times to I have to tell you?" Maria sighed, opening the oven door to check on the dessert browning perfectly beneath the element.  "We'll move in together before the baby comes, until then we're just enjoying getting to know each other."

"But you're already what… 23 weeks?"

"24, but that's still loads of time, we've got three and a half months."

"Still, a little muscle around the place wouldn't hurt," he grumbled as he retreated back into the bedroom for a second chair.

Maria shook her head as she smiled after her brother, turning around to stuff her hands into two leopard-print oven mitts before removing the delectable dessert from the heat source.  Placing it aside, she retrieved the already cooked lasagna from its place on the counter and slid it in the oven to keep warm.

"Mmm," Tess said, entering the kitchen as she inhaled deeply.  "It's smells delish—what're we having?"

"Caesar salad with homemade dressing, spinach and ricotta lasagna, stuffed chicken breast with prosciutto and havarti, and brownie chocolate cheesecake," Maria replied, grinning at the drooling look washing over Tess face.

"Wow," Tess said, obviously impressed.  "This'll be almost as good as Christmas chili."

Swatting after her with the oven mitts still in hand, Maria pushed the girl out of the kitchen as a light knock was heard on the door.

"I'll…" Tess started before the door swung open to reveal Michael with Isabel, Alex, Liz, and Max just behind him.  "Whoa, I know I locked that," she said quietly.

"Probably did," Maria said casually, entering the room to walk up to Michael.  "But he has a key."  Smiling brilliantly at him, she stretched up to offer him a kiss, her stomach grazing against his abdomen as she did.  "Hey," she whispered softly.

"Hey yourself."

"Maria, oh my God, you're huge!" Isabel exclaimed as she took in the swollen expanse pushing against the white blouse Maria was wearing.

"Well hello to you too," she replied, laughing at the common sentiment she was hearing lately.

"Oh come here," Isabel said quickly, grabbing Maria's arm as she steered her away from Michael and towards the couch.  "Tell me everything, how are you feeling, do your legs hurt yet, has the baby kicked?"

"Well, I…"

Smiling at his girlfriend's obviously flustered reaction to Isabel characteristic probing questions, Michael watched her settle into the couch slowly, the strain of being on her feet cooking all day starting to show.  'Only 16 more weeks and the real fun begins,' he thought to himself.  They had talked about moving in together before the baby was born and each time he had to leave her apartment, he swore it got harder and harder to do so.  His hand crept inside his jacket pocket slowly, fingering the tiny velvet box resting there.  He knew she wanted what he did, just a normal, boring life with a couple of kids and a loving home, and he planned to give it to her.

Tomorrow evening he was going to ask Maria to marry him, thinking of it now, his heart skipped a beat—half in fear that she would refuse, half in excitement that she wouldn't.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Walking into _Fresh Start_, Maria smiled as she remembered all the times she had come here yearning for another hour of stolen glances at the man who now placed his hand firmly on her back as she entered.  He had just treated her to an exquisite dinner at Vesuvio's, one of the premiere Italian restaurants in the city.  After last night's meal of home cooked goodness, she didn't think she would be able to stuff another oversized portion of pasta into her, but it seemed that the baby growing inside her begged to differ.  Polishing off not only her main course, but a satisfying appetizer and indescribably delicious dessert, she was ready for the hot cup of tea he promised before she planned to suggest that he drop her off at home… and not leave until daylight.

A few scattered customers lingered in the shop with only 10 minutes left before closing and Maria glanced around quickly before sighing happily that her favored chair was still empty at the late hour.  Taking a seat, she watched as Michael moved behind the counter and began preparing their drinks.  In all the time she had been coming here, both before and after they were a couple, he had never let another person fill her standing order.  It was something that she hadn't been aware of until they did start dating and he shyly admitted the fact to her.  She supposed that since it was her that did the majority of the stalking anyway, showing up repeatedly in his store for tea that she could make for a fraction of the cost at home, he was allowed a little embarrassment of his own when it came to the beginning of their relationship.

From behind the counter, Michael glanced up to see her settling into her customary chair.  'Perfect,' he thought as he took his hand away from the mug he held for a moment to check his pocket for the ring.  It was tucked inside a chamomile tea package, tied to the tea bag with a light string that had taken him nearly an hour to attach.  He knew she was expecting her already brewed concoction as he normally created it, but tonight he was going to 'forget' to add this particular flavor, instead giving her just mint and suggesting she add the second bag herself.

He hoped she didn't dunk the diamond in the water before noticing.

Picking up her 'just mint' tea, he grabbed his own latte from the counter and began the slow trek across the shop towards her.  His heart raced as he progressed, visibly pulsing against his shirt by the time he arrived.

"Ooh, thanks," she said as she accepted the mug, so eager to taste the first sip that she didn't notice the ill look on his face.  "Mmm," she murmured, letting the scalding liquid slip between her lips.  Pushing it away quickly, she wrinkled her nose in surprise as she exclaimed, "It's… it's mint!"

"What?" Michael said softly, clearing his throat as he realized that he was not remembering the cardinal rule of 'whatever you do be cool'.  Standing again, he offered quickly, "I guess I forgot the second bag, just a sec."

Shaking her head at his absentmindedness, Maria attempted another sip of the putrid drink as he walked towards the counter for a chamomile addition.  To him, the short steps across the room to feign retrieving a tea bag took a lifetime, and he nervously wondered if she noticed as he slipped his hand inside his pocket to grasp the 'special' bag.  Pausing by the counter for a moment, he tossed a sick smile towards the cashier before turning to make his way back to his soon to be fiancée.  Raising his head to meet her eyes, he stopped when he noticed her body turn in her chair and a smile break fully across her features.

"Ah!" she cried excitedly.  "Jo!"

Shifting his gaze, Michael stared frantically at the interruption she called 'Jo', sighing audibly when he saw it was a woman, before cursing silently that his plan had just been put on indefinite hold.

"Maria?" the woman asked incredulously, walking towards the tiny table.  "Oh my God, how are you?"

"Uh, large at the moment," she replied lightly.

"I'd say.  It's weird to see you pregnant, I mean I knew it worked, but…"

"I know!"  Tossing her head back towards Michael, she gestured to him to return to the table.  "Michael, I'd like you to meet Jo, she's an old friend.  Jo," she added as the woman turned to face Michael directly.  "This is my boyfriend Michael."

For Michael, watching the supposed stranger turn towards him made time slow as if he was caught in a tunnel of molasses infused agony.  His breath caught in his throat as recognition he wished was imaginary sparked in her eyes as well.  He knew her, he had met her before, several times before—she was…

Words failed him as the gravity of the situation settled over the pair heavily.  Jo blinked once, twice, then painted a bright smile on her face and extended her hand.

"Michael, was it?" she asked a little too sharply.

"Uh… yeah," he replied weakly, unable to move to return her gesture.

Maria, thankfully, was absorbed in fighting her way to her feet, her hand falling to rest on her extended stomach as she explained, "It's a funny story, actually…"

Smiling sickly, Michael diverted his eyes from her, fighting to remain on his feet as her melodic voice threw acid on his fast growing wounds.

"Jo helped me find a sperm donor.  She's the only one who knows the secret."  Laughing as she turned to throw her arms around the woman's neck, she whispered in her ear, "Thank you sweetie.  It has been _amazing."_

"Uh, why don't I let you catch up?" Michael interrupted suddenly, backing away as Maria stared after him curiously.  "It was uh… it was nice to meet you."  His voice faded as he stepped further away from the women.

"Michael?" Maria asked slowly.

Shaking his head, he turned quickly and walked as strongly as he could into the back room.  The words the woman he was in love with echoed in his head, 'She's the only one who knows…'  Leaning heavily against the wall, he buried his head in his hands.

"Not true," he mumbled beneath his breath.  "I know."

~*~*~*~*~*~

Driving to her apartment, Maria stared silently out the window and replayed the events of the evening back in her mind.  Everything had been going fine until they arrived at his shop, then Jo had dropped by and suddenly it was as if all the joy had been sucked out of the room.

What was with him?

The car slowed to a stop outside her building, pulling into the drop off area rather than visitor's parking.  She broke out of her trance to look up in confusion.  "You're not… you're leaving?" she asked quietly as she turned towards him.

Michael kept his hands gripped tightly on the steering wheel, his gaze locked on the white peaks breaking out across his knuckles as he fought to keep it together long enough to say good night to her.

"I uh… I've got to open tomorrow morning."

"That never stopped you before."

"I'm just…" he mumbled, turning his head to meet the steely gaze she shot across the interior of the vehicle.  "I'm just tired, okay?  I'll call you tomorrow?"

"Sure," she replied hollowly.

Ten seconds that felt infinitesimally longer passed between them before she gritted her lips tightly and muttered, "So you planning on introducing me to your alter ego, or should I just guess his name?"

Whipping his gaze up to meet hers, he saw the anger flashing there and wondered briefly what had given her cause for such an emotion until he felt his own anger ripple through his stiffened muscles and knew… it was him.

"Look, I…" he started, shaking his head slowly as he quietly asked the question he already knew the answer to.  "You… you didn't use a sperm bank did you?"

"What?" she asked, visibly surprised at his left-field centered question.

"The sperm," he added firmly.  "You didn't 'buy' it, did you?"

"No… no, I…"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"You never asked," she replied simply.

He never asked, stupid… like he was supposed to ask, like he was supposed to assume…  Biting his lip sharply, he felt the copper taste of his own blood swirl into the cavity, the liquid reminding him that no matter how numb he felt, he was still alive… he still had to deal.

Removing one hand from the wheel, Michael rubbed his eyes tiredly as he recalled the relationship he had with the woman he supposedly had met for the first time tonight.  As soon as he'd seen Maria call out to Jo he'd sensed that something was wrong; nothing he could give actual form to, but just the overwhelming feeling that her talking to that woman would bring no good to their lives.

He couldn't have been more right.

He'd wanted a child for as long as he could remember; his marriage ending had left him believing that his dream might never come true, until he had heard of a free sperm donation program.  Donating had never been about financial reward, but the idea that he could help someone have a child without causing them financial hardship was beyond appealing.

It wasn't the normal "come into our offices and… here's a shiny new cup" method, it was an underground network of people, mainly from the gay community, that matched up donors with recipients and facilitated the process of delivering sperm from a willing man to an eager woman.  Jo was the person he'd given his sperm to every month for six months.  He'd started in July, donating right through to December.  Did that mean?

"So… who…" he mumbled, the pathetic words he offered as far from the actual question he wanted to ask as he felt reality slip away.

"I don't know, I used someone she found through her center.  She found him, I just had to call her when I was ovulating and she would pick up the sperm and bring it over."

"How long?"

"Did it take?  Four months."

Four… he'd given six… it couldn't be…

"But I actually took six, she said it's better if the guy doesn't know when it works."

Her last words went unheard by him, fading into the roaring nothingness that consumed his brain.  It had taken four, if he'd started in July… that meant that October was lucky number four, the month she'd conceived.

"I have to… I really should…" he stammered.

"Michael," she said softly, reaching out tentatively to touch his arm.  "What is it?"

"Nothing," he whispered, clearing his throat as he sucked in a sharp breath and called on every poker face he'd ever been asked to portray while he turned towards her.  "I just wasn't expecting it that's all, it's just…"

"It's just," she echoed.

An icy streak left her fingertips resting on his arm, traversing its way maddeningly through her body.  It seemed so simple, just a mistake, she hadn't meant to not tell him… had she?  No, this wasn't about her, it was a simple, stupid mistake.  He should understand, not act like she'd lied.

"I think I'm just going to go," she mumbled, disappointment etched in her voice as she prayed that he would say just one word… don't.

Instead, her hand wrapped tightly around the door handle, pulling lightly to detach the lock, pushing against the heavy metal before letting her body slip out onto the pavement.  Standing on the sidewalk, she hesitated for a moment before firmly closing the door behind her.  All he had to do was follow her, just say he wasn't mad… was that so much to ask?

All hopes that the evening wasn't as bad as she thought were shattered as Michael put the vehicle in drive and roared away.  She turned to watch him depart, tears forming on her cheeks as she struggled to comprehend the source of his anger… or disappointment, confusion, fear…

She had no clue as to what brought on his attack, only that she suddenly felt violated.  Pressing a hand to her mouth, she hurried inside her apartment building, forgoing the elevator to take the stairs instead.  She hadn't pounded her way up this many steps since long before she'd conceived, such a strenuous exercise often too much on a normal day, let alone in her pregnant state, yet now, tonight, she craved the release of too much tension from her body.  Needed to feel the burn as her lungs, starved for air, cried out against her throbbing heart.

She made it three full flights before she collapsed on the landing.


	9. Part 9 Acquiescence

**Part 9  
Acquiescence**

Michael slammed his phone down on the counter as he popped open another beer; it was the second Budweiser in 10 minutes, the first going down somewhere close to the speed of a volcano erupting as he attempted to drown the sickening taste from his mouth.  He'd just gotten off the phone with their new mutual 'friend' Jo, confirming what he'd figured out himself an hour ago, he was going to be a father.  And not just a surrogate, my girlfriend's pregnant so I'll step up and do the right thing; but a real, honest, no 'sperm from another guy made my baby' Dad… and he'd acted like a complete asshole.

When he'd figured it out, his immediate reaction had been to deny; it just couldn't be real, right?  Then he had asked Maria about how she got the sperm and her answers had all but confirmed what he suspected—he was the anonymous donor responsible for impregnating her.  To say that his world had imploded upon itself was like saying that a nuclear bomb did a 'bit' of damage.  Unfathomable was a good word to describe the evening, the extent of his emotional turmoil at the moment indescribable.  

Being born into a family that had never given him the love a child deserved had instilled the need to have children of his own at an early age.  When Kara suddenly surprised him with the fact that she didn't share his purpose, he'd known immediately that things weren't going to work between them.  He told her he was willing to try, and even thought she had believed it for a short while, but in the end they both knew that his ability to give life to another was something precious to him; something he couldn't sacrifice even for the love of his wife.

The dream that had been his reason for living when his father took to using him as a punching bag all those years ago had been realized unknowingly through secretive donations to a woman he was never supposed to meet.

He was going to be a father… he thought he might throw up.

"Oh shit," he mumbled, pushing away from the wall as he lurched towards the sink.  The remnants of his earlier dinner exploded onto the stainless steel, the shiny surface marred by the contents of his stomach.  "Holy fuck," he gasped between retches, clutching the edge of the counter tightly to remain upright as he directed his anguish, along with his meal, towards the drain.

Coughing as the acidic taste flooded his mouth, he smiled grimly as he realized that even this substance couldn't remove the sickening shards of shame he had tried to erase with beer.  He never should have reacted like he did; Maria had done nothing wrong, in fact she'd been totally honest about how she'd found her 'donation'; that he was her supposedly anonymous donor should have been a joyous discovery, not one to mark with his stubborn stupidity.  This was good, right?

It was.

Steeling his body against the still rolling effects of his protesting stomach, Michael grabbed after the phone again.  Pressing her memorized number rapidly, he took in a slow lungful of air, pathetically attempting to calm himself when he was about to reveal that their lives were changed forever.  Surprisingly, there was no answer at her apartment but he shrugged it off as her probably soaking in a hot bath by now, the doubtless stress of their argument weighing heavily on her mind—or maybe she didn't care at all.

No, she cared, he knew she cared and if he wanted to show her that he did as well he had to get his ass over there as quickly as possible.  Listening as the prerecorded message cut in to signal that she wasn't going to answer, he smiled as he breathed quickly and hurried to blurt out a satisfactory apology to her in the time allotted.

"Hey there, it's me.  Listen… I need to apologize for tonight.  I, uh… well I found something out and it kind of threw me, but I realize that I just should have told you. And I want to… tell you, but not now… I'll… I'm coming over, okay?  Just stay there—soak, relax… think up a good rebuke to throw at me but know one thing… I love you.  I think I loved you the moment I saw you, and I want this baby to be…"

"…ours," he finished, his voice fading as a loud beep from her machine cut him off.  "Shit," he mumbled, running a frantic hand through his hair as he grabbed his jacket and keys from the floor where he'd tossed them and hurried out the door.  Feeling impatiently in his pocket as he waited for the elevator, he smiled and said a silent prayer that after his confession she would accept his offer to make her a cup of tea.

~*~*~*~*~*~

The phone ringing in the darkened apartment woke Kyle with a start as Tess rolled over and reached across the bed for the receiver.

"M-ello," she mumbled, collapsing on her husband's chest as sleep immediately tried to reclaim her.  'What time is it?' her brain wondered lazily, her eyes blinking open to stare at the glaring red numbers displaying 11:59 PM.

"What the hell?" she murmured, realizing a moment too late that she had spoken into the phone receiver and that the person on the other end had already been talking.  "You better not be selling a fucking vacuum," she added, pushing herself up against Kyle's chest as he groaned lightly.

"Is this the home of Kyle Valenti?" the voice on the other end asked monotonously.

"What… yes," she said, scrambling to her knees as the sudden urgency of the call broke through to her subconscious. "Why?"

"Maria Deluca was brought into our hospital a little while ago.  Mr. Valenti is listed as her next of kin."

"Next of… why do you need?"

"She's been admitted ma'am.  Could I speak with Mr. Valenti please?"

"This is Mrs. Valenti," Tess enunciated clearly.  "You can tell _me why my sister is in your hospital."_

"She was taken up to Obstetrics, I'm afraid that's all I know."

"Shit," Tess mumbled.  "Sorry," she offered quickly, pushing Kyle hard in the ribs to wake him as she asked for necessary information about the hospital.

"Kyle, wake up… Where?… Wake up!… Grace General?… It's Maria, get your ass out of bed… Okay, so Obstetrics?… I don't know, I'm trying to find out… And you don't know anything?… Did you not just hear me say she didn't know anything?… Okay, thanks.  We'll be right there."

Hanging up, Tess wordlessly turned to her husband, all necessary information already relayed as they both vaulted off the bed.

A few minutes later, halfway across town, Michael was just pulling out of his parking lot when his cell phone rang shrilly and he smiled as he reached for it.  "Hey you," he said warmly into the receiver, his face falling as he recognized the voice as not that of his girlfriend.  Ten seconds later he had a new destination and was turning the Jeep around to race in that direction, the only thought careening through his brain that if he was too late, it was all his fault.

~*~*~*~*~*~

"Hey, try to keep breathing, okay?  I can't handle both of you in the hospital."

Kyle was pacing the tiny hallway outside Maria's hospital room while he waited for her doctor to speak with her inside.  He smiled at Tess as she attempted to calm his fluttering nerves.  "I can't, I just need to see her, you know?  Make sure she's okay."

"I'm sure she's fine, the doctor said she was stabilized…"

"Well I want to know what happened to make her _not stabilized!"_

"I know, I'm sure they'll let us in soon."

"Yeah, yeah," he muttered, beginning his pacing again before he stopped suddenly.  "Fuck, Guerin, we have to call him!"

"Already done, I did it while you were hopping around the room with one leg in your jeans looking for your keys… which were in your hand the whole time by the way."

"Okay, first… smart woman.  Second, how can you joke around here?  We don't even know if…"

"Because I can't think about the 'if'," Tess replied softly, hugging her arms to herself as she received a sheepish smile from her husband.  Warm arms enveloped her as she let herself fall against his muscular body, feeling the fear running through him radiate into her.  'It is going to be okay,' she chanted silently.  'Everything is going to be okay.'

"Good news," a voice interrupted them suddenly.  "Your sister is going to be okay."

"Oh God," Tess breathed softly, looking up as Maria's doctor stepped into the hallway.

"What happened?" Kyle asked quickly, turning to face the woman standing before them.

"She has preeclampsia, a fancy term for high blood pressure.  Essentially the condition caused her to have severe stomach pains that felt like labor, but aren't… luckily."

"High blood pressure?" Kyle asked.  "So that's not serious?"

"No, it's serious enough, just manageable," the doctor responded kindly.  "We'll keep her here for a day or two, make sure that her pressure stays down, but it's going to be crucial that she take it easy for the rest of her pregnancy—complete bed rest."

"Okay," Kyle said numbly, blindly nodding his head in agreement.

"I'll come by and talk with her again tomorrow.  Right now you can go in and see her, but keep it short."

Turning, the doctor walked away from them as Kyle pushed open the door to his sister's room with Tess following behind.  Approaching the shadowed bed, he frowned when he saw how pale her face looked against the white pillow.

"Hey you," he whispered softly, laying his hand lightly on her arm as she blinked her eyes open to stare up at him.

Tears pooled against the shining emeralds peering back at him, her chin trembling as she fought to hold back the onslaught of emotions that threatened to break free.

"It's okay, it's okay," he murmured, lowering himself to sit by her side.  "We're here now, it's all okay."

"The… it felt like I was losing…"

"We know sweetie," Tess said softly from her position standing behind Kyle.  "But you didn't, you won't."

"But there was so… so much pain…"

Squeezing her eyes shut, Maria was unable to damn the tears that spilled over her cheeks.  Shaking her head as sobs reached out to take control of her body, she felt Kyle's hand rub briskly up and down her arm and knew that she was pushing him closer to the edge himself.  The baby brother that never cried was about to lose it, it must be bad.

"Hey," Tess said suddenly, stepping in front of the chair to take Kyle's place at Maria's side.  She smiled as he moved away from the bed, swiping at his eyes out of sight in the darkness.  "Your doctor said you just have to rest, that's easy right?"

Maria's eyes peeked open through the waterfalls cascading through them and stared up at Tess curiously.

"You always said that your dream was for someone to wait on you hand and foot," she teased.

"Tess, please," Kyle mumbled from somewhere behind her.

"It's okay, she knows I'm just teasing her, don't you?"

"Sure," Maria said quietly, smiling despite her best efforts as she squeezed Tess's hand appreciatively.  "But somehow this is not quite how I pictured earning a dedicated servant."

"No, but still… silver lining and all that crap."

"You never change do you?"

"Would you really want me to?"

Sighing, Maria's smile widened for a moment before fading back into a contemplative frown.  "Oh, Michael…" she murmured suddenly, remembering the fight they had had before all this happened.

"Relax, already called him, he should be here any minute."

"What?  No, I don't want him here!" Maria exclaimed.

"Why?"

"It's… it's… I don't know, we had this stupid argument about where I got the sperm… he just freaked."

"He what?" Kyle exploded.

"Stop it!" Maria chastised quickly.  "Not exactly freaked, but he was just… he just had so many questions and he seemed angry or something, like it suddenly made all the difference that I didn't pay for it."

"Why the hell should that matter?" Tess asked incredulously.

"I don't know," Maria responded sadly, lowering her eyes as her fingers played with the sheets nervously.  "But I just can't see him… not now…"

"Okay, okay, I'll go find him.  Talk to him or something," Tess offered.

"Thank you."

Leaning in to wrap her arms around Maria, she hugged the other girl tightly before turning away from the bed.  Passing Kyle on her way out of the room, she smiled as she heard his whispered instruction to her.

"Don't let him in here, and if he argues with you, tell him that it really _will_ be me killing him this time."

She could only shake her head as she witnessed the same display of territory claiming that Kyle always tried with her.  Was he ever going to learn that his big sister could handle things herself?

'Probably not,' Tess mused, stepping into the hallway just as a frantic Michael came barreling around the corner.

"Whoa!" she exclaimed, holding up her hands to stop him.  Shooting a cursory glance over his slightly unexpected appearance, she took in the black dress pants highlighting the best features of his lower body, accented by his deep blue dress shirt with open collar that revealed enough of his smooth chest to send her mind racing to places it didn't belong.

"Hold up GQ," she said quickly.  Clearing her throat, she shook her head to bring herself back on track and stepped in front of the door she had just exited to block a quick entrance by him.  "Can't go in yet."

"What?  Why?  Where is she?  What happened?"

"16 questions left—keep shooting."

"What?" Michael cried in frustration.

"Relax!" Tess said loudly.  'Okay, so humor not the way to go,' she concluded.  "She's going to be fine.  Kyle's talking with her now, we've just got to wait for a sec, cool?"

Looking helplessly at the closed door, Michael stepped back before whirling to pace up the hallway and back again quickly.  "A sec?" he asked.  "Can he make it any quicker?"

"Look, sit down, okay?" Tess asked quietly, sensing that she needed to calm him before she could talk any sense into his racing brain.  "Just take a couple of those cleansing breaths they teach in yoga and chill."

"How the hell would I know about yoga?" Michael muttered, taking a seat where she indicated across the hallway.

"Jesus, I don't know, chocolate lattes to drink… I thought you were into all that new age crap," she replied, seeing immediately that he didn't want her to say one more word if it didn't involve his injured girlfriend.  "Okay, okay, no more jokes, but she _is_ fine, trust me.  She collapsed at her apartment and…" Tess started, taking a seat by his side as she watched his face pale a few thousand shades.  "Whoa, she's _fine_.  It's high-blood pressure, serious enough but we can deal with it."

"God," he muttered, running his hand across his eyes.  "So she's… she's okay?"

"Yes, fine _is_ another word for okay you know."

Glaring at the blonde, Michael ignored her teasing attempts and continued on his quest for information.  "What about our… what about the baby?"

"_Her_ baby is also fine…" Tess said slowly, staring at the instant blush that crept across his cheeks at his little slip-up.

"Thank God."

"Michael," she asked pointedly.

"Don't…"

"No way, Maria said you fought over sperm, I have a feeling it wasn't the cost that was the issue?"

"Drop it.  I've just got to see her."

"Well right now she's only letting a select few visitors in the room and sorry, you didn't make the cut," Tess said coldly, slamming her back against the chair as she folded her arms across her chest firmly.

"Shit, Tess… you've got to help me."

"Sure," she replied lightly, waving her hand in the air nonchalantly.  "I mean I _am your best friend, right?"_

"No, but you _are_ Maria's and trust me when I say she needs to hear this."

"Hear what big man?  As of this moment I am appointing myself guardian of all things Maria-worthy.  You either tell me or you don't get in, don't say I didn't give you a choice."

"Fuck!" Michael cried, standing from his chair.  "Do you have any idea how annoying you can be?"

"Oh yeah, Kyle tells me all the time," she replied dryly.

Setting his jaw stubbornly, Michael stared at the defiant woman still sitting casually in the chair while he felt the slight control he held on his world crumble around him.  Defeated, he sighed heavily, and stepped forward to stand as menacingly as possible over her.  "Fine, you want to know, I'll tell you, but just so we're clear, I'm only doing it so Maria doesn't kick my ass later, if I wanted to I could just walk in there right now."

"Uh-huh, sure… and that's why you're still standing here, right?"

"Just…" he growled, clenching his fists by his side as she pushed his every button just as good as Maria did.  Taking a deep breath, he blurted quickly, "I'm the father of Maria's baby.  Now, will you let me in the room?"

"No shit Sherlock," Tess cried, leaping to her feet to throw her arms around Michael's neck.  "Holy fuck!"

"Tess," he whispered loudly, fighting to detach her from his body.  "We're in a hospital, Jesus!"

"Oh, sorry," she said, blushing as she lowered herself to the ground.  "But man!" she continued, just as loudly as before, this time hitting him on the shoulder as he visibly winced from the blow.  "How… hey yeah, wait a second… how?"

"I donated, she received… Maria introduced me to the woman that helped her tonight, it was the same one that helped me."

"Okay, but there could have been other women…"

"I called her—there weren't."

"Oh God, so you really are the Daddy?"

"Looks like."

"No shit…"

"Yeah," he echoed.  "No shit."

"Oh God, Michael… I'm so sorry, I've been keeping you out here and you've got so much to talk to her about, I have to go, I have to tell her…"

"Ah, I think…"

"Not _that_ that, tell her you're here.  Be right back, kay?" she said quickly, leaning in to give him a quick hug as she skipped lightly towards the door.  Looking back, she added, "Oh, and be prepared to duck if Kyle comes charging out."

"Don't you mean jump?" Michael smirked.

Tess fought to suppress a smile as she walked back into the shaded room.  Moving quietly towards the bed, she felt relief wash over her when she saw Maria smiling lightly as Kyle regaled her with some forgotten story of their childhood together.

"Well it's nice to see a smile," she observed, laying one hand on Kyle's shoulder while she reached out for Maria's leg with the other.

"Apparently your husband thinks it was 'me' that told off the old woman across the street when we knocked all the shoveled snow back onto her sidewalk.  I distinctly remember a certain finger of his extending in her direction."

"Oh come on, it was so you!" Kyle protested.

"Who does it sound more like, me or you?" Maria asked sternly, smiling when she saw defeat register on his face.  "I rest my case."

"Women…" Kyle muttered, standing to step away from the bed.

Tess smacked him across the back of the head lightly as he stood, winking at Maria as she took the seat he had vacated.  "So, not to spoil the mood, but…"

"Oh," Maria breathed quickly.

"Yep, he's here," Tess confirmed.  "And I think you need to talk to him."

"Yeah…"

"Absolutely not!"

"Kyle!" Tess exclaimed, turning to shoot daggers across the room towards her partner.

"What?  No, I don't care.  You and Cro-Magnon out there had some sort of fight and you ended up in the hospital.  You are not seeing him again."

Tess clamped her lips together as she sat back in her chair and watched Maria's ire bubble towards the surface.  It was perfect, get Kyle to tell her she couldn't do something and a minute later she was off and running—worked like a charm every time.

"Tess, please go ask my boyfriend to come in… and take your husband with you when you leave."

"Maria…"

"Come on baby bro," Tess said, standing from her chair.  "Let's get out of here before she disowns you completely."

Smiling back at Maria, Tess pushed Kyle ahead of her out the door, frowning as soon as she turned around to hear the guttural growl emanating from his throat.  "Grow up!" she warned, pushing him harder to move him away from the door as she waved Michael inside.  "Give it your best shot playboy."

Swallowing heavily, Michael ignored the death-laden glare Kyle directed towards him and stepped into the shadows cloaking the hospital room.  Faltering as he turned towards the bed, he took a deep breath and began the slow trip across the expanse separating him from single life and imminent fatherhood.

"How… how are you…" he stammered.

"I'm fine, I…" Maria started, her face contorting as she let her eyes rise up to meet his and suddenly felt the fragile walls she had constructed crumbling around her.  "Oh God…" she sobbed softly.  "I was so scared."

"Shh, it's okay, it's okay," he hurried, lowering himself into the vacant chair as he reached out for her hand.  "Tess said you're going to be fine, the baby too, it'll be okay."

"But I… I've got to have complete bed rest, no cleaning, cooking, walking!  And even if I'm really, really good…"

"Stop it," he whispered softly.  "Don't beat yourself up over this, if it's anyone's fault it's mine."

"Michael…"

"No, listen.  I… I was a jerk earlier.  I shouldn't have said half… no _anything_ that I did.  I just made you upset and…"

"It wasn't being upset, or stress, or even running up the stairs…"

"You ran up the stairs?"

"Not the point," she said, changing the subject away from her own stupid act of the evening.  "It's just high-blood pressure.  Nothing I could have prevented, just something I need to be really careful about now.  Something that could cause this again if I'm not."

"Well, we're not going to let that happen.  As soon as they let you out, I'm taking you back to my place.  I can get someone to cover my shifts, and maybe Tess or Liz can come by when I need to go in to do payroll, I can hook up the Internet in the bedroom so you can stay connected, books aren't a problem…"

Maria stared at the man she loved as his eyes focused off in the distance and he planned the next few months of their life together.  "Hey in there," she said lightly, waving her hand in front of his eyes.  "Maybe we could check with me before we go planning where I'm going to sleep next week?"

"But you… well I just thought…" he mumbled.

Sighing, she frowned deeply as she pulled the sheets closer around her swollen abdomen.  "Two hours ago you wouldn't even come up to my apartment, now you want me to move in…"

"Yeah… about that," he murmured quietly.

Looking at him curiously, Maria watched as he inhaled a deep breath and averted his eyes from hers.

"There's something about that… something I've got to tell you."

She didn't respond, instead clasping her hands tight together on her belly, her fingers pressing deeply into the boney skin of her hands as she waited for him to drop whatever bomb he was carrying.

"Tonight wasn't exactly the first time I met Jo."

"Jo?" she asked surprised.  "What does she have to do with it?"

"Well, she and I sort of know each other."

"Okay…"

"Maria," he said, sighing as he fumbled with words he never imagined himself saying.  "You know I always wanted kids, right?"

"Of course."

"Well, last year I finally decided that if I wasn't going to have them myself, I could at least help someone else."

Silence separated the pair as Maria's brain raced to comprehend what he was saying and Michael simultaneously searched her eyes for understanding.

"I donated…" he finally added, hoping he had given her enough information to piece together his cryptic puzzle.

"Oh," she said loudly, smiling as she reached out for his hand.  "You were a sperm donor?  I think that's great!"

"You do…" he said slowly, continuing to seek out her knowledge of the truth in her reaction—nothing, she still hadn't figured it out; she thought he was just that—a sperm donor.  "Babe, I didn't go to a sperm bank… I used the center."

"The center…"

"Where I met Jo."

"Oh," she replied, suddenly getting that he had donated at the same Community Center she had used.  "But… but what…"

Her hand was still clutching his tightly against the sheets and now he raised his other hand to place atop the pile, caressing her wrist lightly with his thumb as he pushed her onward towards understanding.

"Jo was the woman that picked up my sperm… and delivered it to you."

Her face fell immediately as she cried softly, "No…"

Michael felt his heart solidify as he watched her work through the emotions raging throughout her weakened body.  Every step from pure misunderstanding to complete denial, confused questioning, slight acceptance, immature joy… did he really see joy there?

"Michael… I don't… that can't be true… it…"

'How?' her brain screamed, her mental voice reverberating throughout the hollow shell she suddenly found her spirit inhabiting.  How was it possible that the supposed to remain anonymous stranger she had accepted as her donor turned out to be the very man she fell in love with.  It just wasn't happening, it just couldn't… this was the stuff they wrote books about, not real life…

As the silence dragged on between them, Michael felt small slivers of his frozen heart break free, catapulting into the dark void where his soul lay dying.  It wasn't the joyful surprise he had hoped for; she wanted this baby for herself, she had decided to do it by herself, maybe she really didn't want to know who the father was… even if it _was_ the man she purported to love.

"Maria you don't…"

"Shh," she whispered, shaking her head as the tears glistening in her eyes fell slowly onto her cheeks.  "If this is true…" she whispered breathlessly.

Holding his breath as she raised her tear streaked face to his, he realized that his body was on the verge of dying as he awaited her next words.

Reaching out to him, she pressed her hand flat against his cheek, feeling him lean just slightly into the gesture.  "You… you're going to be a Dad," she whispered, letting her own tears fall free as Michael let the damn he'd been repressing burst forward.

Lowering his head to rest atop the tangle of their hands on the bed, he let her continue to soothe him as great sobs wracked his body and he cried for the new baby they had just accepted as theirs.


	10. Part 10 With This Ring

**Part 10  
With This Ring**

Leaning back into the countless pyre of pillows stacked behind her, Maria felt her body collapse through the phases of tiredness and exhaustion into complete numbness.  Her new home surrounded her claustrophobically, the muted grey walls of the bedroom she had only last week seen as a fabulous place to spend an afternoon suddenly resembling the starkest confines of a prison cell as she reminded herself that this was all she would be seeing for months.

Bed rest… complete bed rest.  What a stupid idea.

Sure that there wasn't a worse way to spend the final months of her pregnancy, she cursed the day her doctor had ordered her not to place her feet on the floor except for absolutely 'necessary' trips to the bathroom, as if any bathroom trip while you were pregnant wasn't 'necessary'.  She was convinced that it was something thought up by an evil physician years ago, more than likely a man, and no woman ordered to follow such a regime had ever dared to break protocol to test its validity.

And neither would she.

Required or not, she was determined to have a healthy baby even if she had to stand on her head for the entire third trimester; the arguments she could dream up as to why staying in bed all day was completely unnecessary were just mindless games to pass the time—seeing as how there was little else to do.

Tears pricked at her eyes for the tenth time that day as she looked around again at the selection of 'things to do' she actually had available to her.  Her hospital stay had only been a day long, but Michael had managed to completely transfer the essence of her apartment into his bedroom in the short time.  Her laptop rested on a swiveling bedside table at her side, complete with an Internet connection and full power accessibility.  A mini-fridge replaced the nightstand that used to rest by the bedside, containing a selection of her favorite drinks and snacks, all in handy, disposable packages, all perfect for her 'condition'.  Stacks of novels and magazines scoured from her own shelves, along with a mix from Tess, Liz, and Isabel, covered the tiny refrigerator, next to a remote control that manipulated both the television and stereo, not to mention DVD player, that he had transferred to the room.  There was nothing else she could possibly ask for.

Except freedom.

Unaware that the threat of tears had been realized as huge droplets dripped steadily down her cheeks, Maria picked up one of the nameless novels resting by her side and flipped open to a random page.  The words seemed to blur together, the plot incomprehensible as she struggled to make herself care about the drama unfolding within the pages.

"You'd have more luck if you turned it over."

Deaf to the words of her boyfriend, Maria knew nothing of his presence until a hand reached into her view to grasp the book she held tightly, flipping it around to place the words right-side up before her eyes.

"Better?" he asked lightly, only then noticing the wetness on her cheeks as his eyes flitted up to hers.  "What's wrong?" he added softly, lowering himself to sit by her side on the bed as he reached out to wipe away her tears.

Shrugging, she shook her head slowly, unable to summon the energy even to acknowledge his question let alone actually formulate a response.

Watching her with concerned eyes, Michael felt his heart constrict in the familiar way only she seemed to be able to affect as he felt every tear she cried pierce his soul.  She was obviously miserable and all the novels in the world weren't going to erase the melancholy she was mired in.

"Hey," he whispered softly, his thumb running over her slick cheek as he forced her eyes to his.  "I know it's hard."

"Not hard," she replied just as softly, flitting her eyes anywhere but on his gaze as she fought to stop crying.  "Scary."

"Come here," he said roughly, switching positions to sit beside her on the mattress.  Wrapping his arm around her shoulder, he pulled her into his chest, noting the stiffness in her body as her light cries became louder, the increase in volume accompanying a relaxation of her muscles as she leaned on him heavily.

"It's okay," he murmured into her hair, rubbing his hand lightly against her arm as he bit back his own tears at watching her collapse.  "We'll get through it together."

"But what if… what if I…"

"Stop that," he said forcefully, pushing her away from him to stare into her wide eyes.  "Nothing is going to happen, I'm going to make sure of it."

"You can't know that," she persisted, shaking her head defiantly at him.  "What if I'm not good enough?  What if it happens again?"

"Maria, this is not your fault."

"I know," she said softly, her eyes glazing over as she contemplated what everyone had been telling her for days.  Staring at her hands, she pierced her lips together firmly before adding, "It's yours."

"What?"

His mouth dropping open as he felt her verbal slap in the face, Michael felt himself retreat into protective mode before the familiar glint in her eye caught his attention and he released the giant breath he had been holding.

"You are the worst, you know that?" he teased lightly.

"What?" she asked innocently, smiling through her tears as she wiped at them ashamedly.  She did feel depressed over her situation, but just sitting with him made her realize that she wasn't alone in the adventure, and she couldn't resist the chance to tease him.

"If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be in this position."

"Oh really," he countered.  "I believe you made this decision all on your own little miss."

"Little Miss?" she asked, wrinkling her nose at his new nickname for her.  "Decision or no, it takes two to tango a baby into existence, CSG."

"CSG?  What?"

Shrugging, she sat back against the mountain of pillows behind her, smiling as she silently dared him to figure it out.

"CS… CS…" he murmured.  "Oh Lord, coffee shop guy?  You should talk HTC."

Michael scooted off the bed as Maria stuck her tongue out at him, still laughing as he exited the room.

"Hey, where are you going?" she called after him.  "I thought we were in this together."

"We are, but someone needs to boil the water around this place."

"Boil water?  For tea?" she asked excitedly.

"Maybe later," he responded, stepping back into the room carrying a huge bowl in front of him.

"Whoa, super cup of tea," she observed.

"Shh," he said quickly, walking steadily to the bed to lay the bowl down beside her.  "It's not tea, unless you want 20 cups.  I thought you'd like a bath."

"A bath?" she asked, shock evident in her voice.

"Yeah," he said softly, shrugging as he blushed slightly.  "I just figured they always relaxed you before, so…"

"Thank you," she said happily, reaching up to beckon him towards her with her arms.  "For everything," she added softly against his cheek.

"Always," he said quietly, pulling back to stare into her eyes deeply.  'This is it,' he chanted silently.  'Ask her.'

Her breath caught in her throat at the serious look in his eyes, an almost desperate pleading as he searched her gaze for the answer to an unasked question.

"What is it?" she whispered.

"I… I, uh… nothing," he said softly, allowing the moment to pass between them in favor of creating an even more perfect one that evening.  "We only have an hour so if you want to get clean," he prodded, clearing his throat roughly.

"Why an hour?"

"It's Sunday isn't it?  You have that Toe Nail Group thing."

"The Pedicure Club?" Maria asked incredulously.  "But they never called…"

"I called them," Michael offered, shrugging his shoulders as she stared at him in awe.  "I figured it'd be good for you to just… you know…"

Her grin splitting from ear to ear, Maria leaned forward to throw her arms around the man who so selflessly cared for her.  "I am really lucky," she whispered softly, stealing a kiss from his mouth even as he prepared to respond.

"Oh yeah?" he mumbled between kisses.  "And why is that?"

"Because you _love_ me," she said happily, her voice rising on _love to squeal excitedly._

Laughing, Michael continued the kiss for another moment before breaking free and confirming her belief.  "Yes, I do," he smiled genuinely.

"Okay," she said quickly, discarding the seriousness of the moment for dramatic effect as she collapsed back on the pillows.  "I am your willing pawn, do with me what you will."

"Oh Lord," Michael growled, standing to pick up the basin of water and place it on the floor.  All thoughts of her bath aside, he crawled up on the bed beside her and attacked her neck furiously.  She might be bedridden but she was far from being an invalid, and besides… having her resting in one place just made her more accessible, most decidedly a good thing.

~*~*~*~*~*~

An hour later, Michael was just stepping out of the shower when the phone ringing pierced the quiet of their apartment and he heard Maria's quiet murmurings into the receiver.

"They're here," she called as soon as she hung up.  "You better get dressed before Tess finds you!"

Laughing as he exited the bathroom, Michael dried his hair lightly with a towel as he walked towards the closet.  "I don't think she'd make a move with you in the room," he teased.

"You don't know Tess."

Rolling his eyes, Michael dressed quickly and planted a quick kiss on her lips before hurrying to answer the door when they knocked a few moments later.

"Ladies," he greeted them, stepping back to make room for them to pass.

"Michael," Liz said kindly.

"Centerfold," Tess added.

Ignoring the veiled compliment/insult, Michael pointed towards the hallway.  "Last door on the right," he instructed.

"How is she?" Liz asked, shooting him a sympathetic smile as she stepped in to give him a quick hug.

Deferring his discomfort at the gesture, Michael shrugged and smiled lightly.  "She's pretty good, a bit down, but…"

"Don't worry," Tess interrupted, stepping up to push Michael towards the door.  "We're here now, all is wondrous."  Grabbing his jacket from the closet, she thrust it into his hands as she twisted the door knob.  "Besides, don't you have somewhere to be," she prompted.

"But… I…" Michael stammered, stepping backwards awkwardly as Tess grabbed the first pair of shoes she found and shoved them into his hands.

"You look fine," she purred, answering the completely wrong question before shutting the door on his surprised face.

"Tess!" Liz squealed as the blonde turn to lean against the solid wood triumphantly.  "Maybe he wanted to say goodbye."

"He sees her 24/7," she responded mindlessly.

"Okay," Liz started, moving to follow Tess as she pushed off from the door to search for the bedroom.  "But do you have to tell him he's gorgeous every time you see him?"

"Chill, I'm just stroking his ego, it's harmless."

"Well, what does Kyle think?"

"Kyle doesn't care, besides, he gets stroked enough."

"Okay good," Liz said quickly, catching herself as she suddenly realized the exact meaning behind the other girl's words.  "Oh!" she exclaimed, pressing her hand to her mouth in complete shock.

Listening to their banter, Maria smiled as they entered, Tess ducking protectively while Liz continued to hit her over the head with her purse.

"You… are… the… worst!" she finished.

"And she knows it," Maria chimed in.

"Will you stop…" Tess mumbled, swatting her arms at Liz's continued beating before looking up to see Maria and stopping suddenly.  Liz collided with her back as the blonde's mouth dropped open and she stared at the room.  "Holy f-uck!" she exclaimed.  "Why didn't he set you up on a gymnastics mat?"

Glancing around her at the expansive king-sized bed she was displayed on, Maria shrugged helplessly, "He likes a lot of room?"

"I'll say.  Bet it came in handing for practicing back-flips!"

"Tess!"

Now it was both girls who expressed their disgust at the more forward among them, Tess just shrugging nonchalantly as she climbed up beside Maria on the bed.

"Whatever," she said casually.  "How are you?"

"Yes," Liz gasped, taking the open space on the other side of the bedridden girl before clasping her hands tightly around Maria's.  "I'm sorry I couldn't get to the hospital.  I went with Max on his business trip…"

"I know, I know," Maria said smiling.  "I knew where you were before it happened.  No big, really.  Besides, I had Big Bad Tess running interference for me."

"Oh, with Michael?  I heard.  Spill."

"Not much to spill, he just found out, freaked a little… honestly, wouldn't you?  I mean…"  Maria let her voice trail off as she watched Liz search her eyes.  "It… it was…" she stammered, struggling to express her true emotions even to her oldest friend.

"Unexpected?" Liz prompted.

"Yeah," Maria breathed.  "But oh God, so amazingly wonderful."

"Really?"

"Yes," Maria gushed, alternating between both girls as she retold the story for the hundredth time.  "I mean, it just doesn't happen, the chances…"

"One in a million," Tess mused quietly.

"In a million," Maria echoed.

Silent for a moment, Liz watched her best friend's face carefully, seeing no signs of trepidation at the news, only a contented peace with her new circumstances.

"You are really happy," she observed, no question implied in her words.

"I am," Maria said softly, her eyes wet as she reminisced about the revelation once again.

"Maria, that's…" Liz started, unable to finish as emotion choked her voice and she had to settle for leaning in to hug her best friend.

"Okay," Tess said loudly.  "Enough of the mushy-mush.  We have some toes to do and I don't plan on being here all day."

Laughing to cover her embarrassment, Liz pulled away from Maria to see that she also had tears dripping from her eyes.  "She just doesn't want to be here when Michael gets home," she explained.

"Oh, why?" Maria asked.

"No reason," Tess said firmly, shooting a deathly glare at Liz.

The brunette only shrugged, laughing as she watched Tess expertly change the subject into the perfect shade of pink to match Maria's flower print pajamas and sat back quietly to observe the scene before her.

She'd been there when Maria had first made this decision almost a year ago, watching as she struggled with finding a clinic, helping as she computed the inevitable costs, supporting her, albeit rather reluctantly at first, when she decided to go the free route.  And through all of the challenges, she'd watched as Maria somehow managed to choose a guy that her life was already intertwined with, or soon would be.  The chances… it just blew the top off her scientific brain.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Protesting that he was missing the opening minutes of what was arguably the most important non-playoff basketball game in history, Kyle yanked open the door to his house forcibly, almost losing his grip on the handle when he saw Michael standing there.

"She finally kick you out?"

"Why do I even bother?" Michael grumbled, shaking his head as he planted his feet firmly on the front step.

"What is it?" Kyle asked, in a slightly softer tone.

"Are you seriously still having a problem with this, because I'm sure Maria would make an exception and get out of bed to kick your a-ss."

Stepping back abruptly, Kyle silently signaled to Michael to enter his home.

Accepting the offer with the same verbal display, Michael stepped into the house he had visited only once before with Maria and looked around quickly as he felt his nerves bubble to the surface.

"So…" Kyle prodded, moving past him towards the kitchen.  "You want a beer?"

"Sure."

"Bud, right?"

"Yeah."

"Well we've only got Heineken," he continued, stepping back into the hallway holding two green bottles.

"My second fav," Michael replied coolly, accepting the offered beverage before following Kyle into the nearby living room.

He watched as Maria's brother retook his seat on the couch, settling back into the sports program while Michael stood by dumbly.  A full minute passed before he summoned the courage to walk across the room and hit the power switch.

"Hey!" Kyle exclaimed.  "I was watching that."

"Not any more."

"What do you…"

"Listen," Michael interrupted, taking a seat in a chair facing the sofa, staring down the slightly enraged man until he calmed slightly and sat back to take a long swig of his beer.  "I came because I wanted to ask you something."

"About…"

"About Maria."

Chewing his lip slowly, Michael felt his nerves once more rise up to tingle throughout his appendages and took a slow mouthful of his drink before settling his eyes back across the room.  "I just wanted to talk about what… what we just found out."

"Oh right, you fathering my niece or nephew before you even knew my sister.  I still haven't figured out how were going to explain that one to the family," Kyle muttered, thinking of the freak-out Amy Valenti would have when Maria tried to broach this subject with her.  "Just wait 'til you meet her mother, man," he continued, shaking his head as he cautioned Michael.  "You think Maria's a firecracker?"

"I can't wait," Michael replied softly.

Eyeing each other cautiously, the two men contemplated the new relationship building between them.  Kyle knew he'd have to accept Michael as part of his life now, and for a quick second, wondered why he'd ever had a problem with him anyway.  Michael on the other hand, sighed inwardly as he realized that while things seemed pretty good between him and Maria's family, there was yet another mountain to cross before he'd consider it smooth sailing.

"Uh, listen," Michael mumbled gruffly, smoothing his hands along his jeans to dispel the quick sweat that had broken out there.  "I'd like to ask you something, and if you could, I'd appreciate you keeping an open mind."

Kyle only narrowed his eyes at the man sitting before him, his new resolve to be nice fading quickly as his guard snapped back into place.

"Maria really looks up to you, as hard as that may physically be," Michael said, smirking as he watched the tips of Kyle's ears redden an extra shade.  "Sorry," he offered almost immediately, holding up his hand in a sign of peace as he cleared his throat and drummed up the nerve to state his true purpose to the man before him.  "I just… well, since it'd mean so much to her, and since I only want to do what makes her happy… I want to let you know that I'm going to ask her to marry me."

Kyle's expression darkened as he heard the true intent behind Michael's words.  "Why?  You weren't going to do it before?  What, you think she can't raise a child by herself?"

Gritting his teeth as he struggled to keep his boiling emotions in check, Michael paused before he formulated a response.  "Not true," he said slowly.  "I was actually going to ask her the night she ended up in the hospital, but Jo made a surprise appearance and sort of stalled things.  And it's not because I think she needs anyone, hell, I'm probably the one that needs her," Michael paused as he wondered if his words were having any effect on his potential brother-in-law.  "I love her… it's that simple."

Kyle stared stonily at the man before him, working his jaw as he contemplated the proposal Michael put forth.  "So you're like what… asking for my permission?"

"No, I'm telling you what I'm going to do."

The heavy silence continued for an indeterminate moment before a smile finally graced Kyle's features as he nodded and stood from his seat.  Uncurling one arm to extend a hand towards Michael, he hoped an apology was evident in his words as he offered, "That's decent man."

Michael matched the gesture, accepting the handshake with the relief that at least one obstacle had been taken care of; now he just had to do the easy part, ask Maria.

"So listen," he continued slowly, warily gauging Kyle's readiness to accept the new familial situation so quickly.  "About what I wanted to ask you…"

~*~*~*~*~*~

When Michael entered his bedroom a few hours later, Maria was sleeping quietly on the bed, her freshly painted toes glistening in the late afternoon sunlight that streamed across them.  Stopping just before her, he smiled as he stared down at her beauty, the delicate features he had fallen in love with before he ever knew her name, the swollen expanse of her stomach carrying their unborn child, the soft frown gracing her face as sleep locked her mind in the throes of some unknown misery.

"No more frowns," he whispered, dropping to her side to reach out and touch her face lightly.  "No more…"

Watching her slowly float up through the dreamscape layers as she returned to consciousness, he steeled himself for the evening he had planned, for the task he had already put off for four agonizing days.  Nerves popped in his stomach, sending rivulets of adrenaline tearing through his veins as he felt a light wave of nausea threaten his composure.  Sure that he would ruin the whole event with his fear, he watched as her eyes opened, two clear rays of shimmering love shooting out directly into his heart… and all fear ceased to exist.

"Hey," he whispered, leaning into capture her yawning lips laughingly.  "Good sleep?"

"Mm-hmm," she murmured, closing her eyes as she purred and rolled to slide her cheek along the pillow.

"Good, cause we've got dinner plans."

"Dinner?" she questioned, her eyes popping open again.

"Yeah, courtesy of Vesuvio's."

"Oh, yummy!  But… I didn't think they delivered."

"They don't," he replied vaguely, standing from the bed as he moved across the room to the closet now housing her clothes.  "You want to get changed?"

"Into what?" she asked dumbly.  "I haven't been dressed in days."

"I know, all the more reason, think of it as a Wednesday night date, only on Sunday."

Laughing, Maria shook her head at her boyfriend, wondering what had gotten into him suddenly, but more than willing to play along if it meant Italian food for her.  "Fine, get my black pants and… and I think there's a green top there that I haven't worn yet, the lacy one."

"Okay, umm," Michael mumbled, staring blindly into the array of clothes that Tess had set up in the closet.  "I wouldn't exactly call her organized," he muttered, hearing Maria's giggle from somewhere behind him.  Eventually finding a green top with the tags still attached, he grabbed the first pair of black pants he saw and retreated from the closet.  "These?" he asked, holding them out to her.

"Yep, and I need a new bra, and underwear, and my make-up, and a brush…"

"We aren't actually going anywhere," he muttered, moving to the dresser to search through one of the new drawers devoted to her.  "This?" he asked, holding up a white bra that looked as though her entire head would fit in it.

"No!" Maria shrieked, laughing.  "That's a breast-feeding bra!"

"You mean…" Michael asked, staring at the contraption in his hands.  "They are going to…"

"Yes," she continued, laughing even harder.  "They will be that big," she confirmed.

"Score," he said softly, whistling beneath his breath as he turned back to the drawer and ignored Maria's audible sigh from behind him.

Searching a bit longer, he finally found a matching black bra and underwear set that met her approval and moved to gather the requisite items from the bathroom.  Dumping it all on the bed, he stared at the pile, shaking his head at what was required for her to get ready for an evening out—and she wasn't even leaving the bed!

"So, I'll help?" he offered.

"You will not," she scoffed.  "No offense, personally I'd love to have you dress me," she teased, reaching out to caress his hand softly as she offered him a smile.  "I want to surprise you, show you I can still be glamorous."

"Oh babe, you are glamorous now," he replied, leaning in to try to kiss her.

She stopped him, holding her top away from her body as she exclaimed, "In these?  I haven't changed in two days!  You haven't _seen glam, Mr. CSG."_

Shaking his head, Michael settled for pecking her on the cheek as he watched her already start to delve into the task in front of her.  Stepping back, he smiled as he closed the door behind him, leaning on it for a moment before looking up at the expectant faces of the three 'servers' for the evening staring at him

"It's a go," he said softly.  "Just give me a few minutes to throw up and I'll be ready."

Moving into the bathroom, Michael heard soft snickers from behind him as he stared at his reflection in the mirror.  'Will you marry me?'  The words looped through his brain as if he was afraid he'd forget them without repetition.

"It's not like you haven't said them before," he muttered roughly as he grimaced towards the mirror.  Boring holes into himself with reflected eyes, he worked his jaw as he inhaled deeply and blinked once, twice, finally closing his eyes against the memory of the last time he had prepared for this act.  Remembering that night, remembering the years it brought, the happiness, the sadness, the joy, and the utter devastation, he opened his eyes again slowly and met the newly resolved man standing before him.  That adventure stood out in such stark contrast to the one he faced now that he wanted to kick himself for even comparing the two.

This wasn't the same; this was new, this was different… this was right.

"No," he whispered.  "No I haven't."

It wasn't the first time he had asked someone to marry him, but it _was_ the first time he had proposed.  Leaning heavily on the sink, he sighed and let his mind race with the exquisite possibilities the evening could bring; _HTC_ was about to become _Mrs. CSG—he couldn't wait._

~*~*~*~*~*~

When Michael reentered the room twenty minutes later, Maria was sitting up against the wooden headboard, her pajamas discarded in favor of the sleek black pants, with expandable waistline of course, and lacy green top.  What she had failed to mention about the shirt she choose was its blatant transparency and Michael felt himself sway on his feet as he stared at the black bra peeking out between the eyelets of fabric.

"You look… glamorous," he said softly.

"Why thank you," she said, returning his smile generously.  "You clean up pretty good yourself."

"I try," he sighed dramatically, crossing the room to walk around the far side of the bed.  "You ready for dinner?" he asked as he crawled up to sit beside her.

Moving to extract one of the countless pillows from behind her back, Maria gestured for him to lean against it as she shot him a quizzical look.  "I am, but I still don't get how you are working this."

"You'll see," he said while winking at her, turning towards the door as he called, "Oh Jeeves."

Maria followed his gaze, a questioning look on her face before she saw the door creak open and a tuxedo-clad Kyle enter.  "Oh Lord!" she exclaimed.

"Madame, it will be my pleasure to be your serv… ah hell," he said abruptly, smirking as his lame attempt at a British accent failed miserably.  "I'll be looking after you, cool?" he asked, using his normal everyday brotherly voice.

"Oh yes," Maria giggled.  "That'll be fine."

"Right, so champagne?"

"Ah…"

"It's the fake stuff," Michael reassured her quietly.

"Well then please," she replied.

"Ladies!" Kyle called, turning to look into the hallway.

Maria didn't think she could contain her laughter when her two best friends entered the room, dressed in female versions of Kyle's suit.  "Oh now this is too much," she sighed as she watched Tess approach the bed carrying a silver bucket with the promised bottle of sparkling cider that she loved.

Liz followed behind her, placing two champagne flutes on Maria's bedside table before stepping back to allow Tess to pour.  Handing a glass to each of them, she could barely hide the grin threatening to split across her features as she watched her friend's enjoyment of the situation.

As the pair clinked glasses lightly and took their first step, Kyle stepped in to announce the evening's menu to them, reading the complicated list from a cheat sheet concealed in his hand.  "Tonight we will be offering an appetizer of _baby Arugula and Radicchio with flakes of Pecorino cheese_, followed by your entrée, _grilled shrimp and scallops with wild mushrooms, roasted garlic, and green onions, in a Pernod cream sauce, served on a bed of linguini, capped off with a delectable __chocolate soufflé with hand-picked cloudberry glaze."_

"Oh please, you are making me hungry," Maria said, placing her hands on her stomach as she salivated for the awaited food.

"Very well, ladies," Kyle commanded again.

Maria giggled as she watched Tess and Liz bow simultaneously and back out of the room.  Looking at Michael, she smiled as she reached up to pull his face into hers.  "I can't believe you did all this," she whispered, tickling his lips with hers lightly before leaning in to fully give herself over to him.

"It was nothing," he replied breathlessly.

"No… it's everything," she said quietly, smiling as she stared into his eyes and said a silent thank you that he was ever placed on this earth to love her.

Their appetizers arrived a moment later, followed in rapid succession by the entrée and dessert.  Finishing the last bite of her soufflé, Maria leaned back into her pillows heavily and sighed contentedly.  "I don't think I have been that full since… well," she said thoughtfully.  "Since Wednesday I guess."

Smiling at Michael, she reached out to rub her thumb lightly over the back of his hand.  "Wednesday was a good day," she added.

"Yes it was," he confirmed, leaning down to plant a kiss on her lips before moving towards her stomach and paying equal attention to the newest member of their family residing there.  Resting his hand on her abdomen, he caressed her skin through the scant material and smiled as he stole the courage to ask his next question from the tiny baby.

Leaning his ear against her belly, he pretended to listen to a non-existent voice from deep within her before asking, "What's that?  You want me to ask your Mommy something?"

Looking up at Maria, he saw her smiling down at him, her eyes sparking with a questioning excitement as she watched him interact with their unborn child.  Turning back to her stomach, he rubbed it lightly.  "Okay," he murmured.  "You think she'll say yes?"

Waiting for a response only he heard, he smiled and stretched his arm along his side and into his pocket to clasp around the tiny velvet box once more holding the ring that would promise them to each other.  Pulling it out unseen by her, he kissed his baby once more and pushed off to stand up from the bed.

"Where are you…" she started, watching as he walked around the room to approach her from the other side of the large bed.  Questioning at first, she felt her breath catch in her throat as he stopped by her side, his right hand concealed behind his back before nervously clearing his throat and dropping to the floor… on one knee.

"Michael," she whispered, knowledge of what he was doubtlessly doing rushing into her without warning.

Grimacing through the nerves flooding his being, he reached out with his left hand to hold hers gently, brushing his thumb across her knuckles as he fought to keep the slim hold he kept on his resolve to push forward.  "I…" he started, smirking as he chewed his lip roughly and inhaled deeply to calm himself.  "I used to think I could come up with words to express how I felt if I just tried hard enough, but this… with you… not only do I have every emotion possible running through me," he said lamely, shaking his head as he realized he was babbling on without even remotely approaching his point.  "But you are like the Goddess of the Thesaurus… whatever I say is just…"

He stopped, staring at her hand instead of her eyes as he wondered when the agony would end and he would actually find it in himself to say what he meant.

Softly, without detaching her left hand from his, Maria raised her right to smooth along his cheek, her gesture soothing as she watched him raise his eyes to hers once more.  Her heart drummed against her rib cage as she saw a kaleidoscope of emotions play across his face.  Holding her breath, she watched as he seemed to take new strength from her and calm slightly, taking a deep breath as he continued.

"Maria," he started again softly.  "I never believed in fate, never really thought that our lives were already planned out for us and that we were just living them, until I met you," he offered, smiling as she squeezed his hand in reassurance.  "I think… I think now I know that there really is a destiny for everyone, and mine is with you."

"Michael," she whispered softly, tears that she didn't want to shed glistening in her eyes.

He felt his own chest constrict as he fought through the wave of emotion flooding him, looking away quickly as her gaze suddenly became too penetrating for him to stand.  "I…" he started, staking his head as he raised his eyes once more to her.  "I love you.  I think that maybe I always loved you, I just had to wait to find you."

Maria stared intently at the man she loved with all her heart as he placed his on display before her.  Breathing was no longer an option as she waited for him to finish his plea, unnecessary as it was as she already heard her answer to his unspoken question resounding through her head.

Slowly moving his arm out from behind him, Michael raised his hand towards her, the tiny box resting innocently in his palm.  Detaching his left hand from hers, he placed his fingers atop the lid, pulling it open against the slight creaking of miniature hinges.

Whatever breath was left in her lungs escaped her body as the sight of the platinum band with a solitary diamond perched precariously on its lip greeted her.  "Oh," she gasped softly, her eyes locked on the ring for an extended moment.

Not daring to take a breath himself, Michael waited until her gaze finally rose to meet his before he reached out and plucked the ring from its resting place between the ivory cushions.  Cradling it carefully between two fingers, he placed the box aside and reached for her left hand again, raising it gently with his own.  Moving the ring to hover over her finger, he cleared his throat before speaking.

Staring at her, his eyes dropped for a quick moment as the gravity of what he was about to do washed over him.  Grinning as he realized how wonderful gravity could feel, he looked up to securely catch her gaze as he continued, "Will you marry me?"

Tears begging to fall, she blinked rapidly as she stared into the depths of his amber eyes and felt every emotion he wrestled with pass through her.  Glancing down at the band poised above her finger, she felt an instant rush of belonging surge through her.  This was right, perfect… destined.  "I… I…" she stammered, smiling softly as she raised her eyes to his again. "Yes."

Trembling, Michael repeated her response weakly, "Yes?"

"Yes!" she said more firmly, lowering her eyes to her hand as she silently urged him to place the ring on her finger.  "Oh God," she gushed, watching it melt into her hand seamlessly.  "It's beautiful!"

"You're beautiful," he replied, tipping her chin up to meet his gaze with his free hand.  "I love you," he whispered, leaning in to place his lips delicately upon hers, pouring the overflowing joy and lingering nerves into the gesture as she returned it with full force.

"I love you," she responded in kind, finally detaching her hand from his as she wrapped her arms around his neck firmly.  Feeling his body quiver within her hold, she let her tears fall free, crying in front of him for the second time that day, this time not of sadness, but of indescribable bliss.


	11. Part 11 I Thee Wed

**Part 11  
I Thee Wed**

Early rays of a cold April sunlight filtered through the blinds he had forgotten to close and tickled the shuttered eyelids of the sleeping man.  Moaning softly in protest to the insistent awakening, he rolled over to escape the torture, his face instantly muffled in a soft pillow of equally golden torture—the hair of his girlfriend… or rather, fiancée.

Smiling as he pushed stray tendrils from his eyes, he shuffled closer to her, wrapping one arm around her chest before tipping backwards to bring her sleeping form on top of his.  Maria purred softly as she reached out to caress his bare chest, Michael watching her in fascination as he told himself once more that this really was all happening; that the woman in his arms was not only going to be his wife, but she was already carrying their child.  It was simply beyond his comprehension.

Pressing his lips to the crown of her head, he closed his eyes tightly and took a slow breath as he felt emotions he had been fighting to keep hidden swell inside him.  It was as if the wishes of ten men had suddenly come true, but all for him—it was just too much.  Everything he'd ever wanted was about to be realized and yet the clearest thought ringing through his mind was that none of it mattered; as long as he got the girl.

"I love you so much," he whispered against her curls, choking back a threatened sob as twin tears slipped down each cheek.

"Mmm, I love you too," she cooed, adjusting her position against his chest as his muscles tensed visibly.  "Those are happy tears, right?" she continued, massaging his abdomen with her hand as she teased him lightly.

"Uh, what tears?" he responded gruffly, swiping at his cheeks while smiling that she knew exactly what he was doing.

"Uh-huh," she said softly, twisting away from his body to slide towards his face.  Kissing his cheek lightly, she smiled against the damp surface before moving on to his lips and murmuring, "What tears."

Returning her offered embrace, Michael smiled against her lips, in awe of how she got him so easily… and actually liked what she saw.  "You are amazing, you know that?"

"Why yes I do," she replied easily, yawning as she moved to stretch her arms above her head.  He only continued his entranced smile as she slowly brought her arms back down, a look of glee washing over her face as her eyes fell to her left hand.  "We are getting married," she said softly, reaching out to touch the platinum band with its solitary sparkling diamond lightly.

"Yes we are," he confirmed, planting another kiss on her head as she curled against him once more.

"When?" she asked softly.

"What?"  
  


"When?  When do you want to?"

"I… I didn't think about it," he answered truthfully, honestly shocked that she had brought up the topic.  "I just, I guess I just figured you'd want to wait a while… but suddenly I'm not sure why," he finished slowly.

Maria tipped her face towards his, easing his flustered expression with her smile.  "I know, the baby, bed rest, but I don't think I want to wait," she stated clearly.  "It'd be nice to have a little Baby Guerin, wouldn't it?"

Michael could only grin as indescribable elation washed over him at her words.

"And besides, I always wanted a spring wedding," she hinted boldly.

"Spring, hey?"

"Yeah."

"Just a sec," he interrupted, pushing her gently from his chest as he eased himself into a standing position.  Walking briskly across the room, he stepped into the spare bedroom he had converted into an office and rustled around, returning a moment later proudly holding up the elusive mystery item—a calendar.

Maria grinned as she pushed herself up on the bed, watching as Michael wordlessly reached for her stash of pillows on the floor and placed them one by one behind her back.

"Good?" he asked as he took a seat beside her.

"Perfect," she smiled, leaning forward to watch as he opened the calendar.

"Okay, so the baby's due on July 23rd," he said slowly, flipping forward to July before moving back to May.  "You wanna go for May 17th?"

"It's April 7th," she shrieked.  "You want to get married in six weeks?"

"Okay, okay," he relented, cowering away from her hand as it swatted at his shoulder.  "I just thought you'd want lots of time to prepare for the baby."

"Do you have any idea how long it takes to plan a wedding?" she asked, immediately wincing as she realized that he actually did.

"Well," he said slowly, pursing his lips together before bursting out laughing at the ill look on her face.  "It's okay," he said quickly, reaching to rub her leg briskly.  "Somehow I think a quickie wedding in Vegas at 18 isn't going to compare to this one."

Smiling through the flush spread across her cheeks, she leaned in to capture his lips with a kiss as he confirmed that it didn't matter at all that he was married before, she was the one wearing his ring these days.

"All right," he said, pulling away from her adoration reluctantly.  "How about June?  The 14th?"

"How about the 18th?  Wednesday," she countered, grinning as she saw him understand the significance of the day.

"Only fitting," he replied stretching out towards her bedside to grab a red pen.  Marking a huge heart on the day with bold strokes, he leaned in to kiss her once again.  "So you'll be Mrs. Guerin on June 18th, hey?"

"Maria Guerin…" she echoed slowly, pulling away from him to mull over the name thoughtfully.  "You know, I didn't change Deluca the last time I had the chance."

"Oh," he said quickly.  "Well you don't…"

Nodding, she ignored his obviously flustered mumblings as she leaned back in to capture his still moving lips with hers.  "I think I'll go for it this time."

~*~*~*~*~*~

"So exactly _when_ were you planning on informing me of your little announcement?"

Michael was sitting on the couch in his living room, letting Maria catch up on writing that she suddenly felt inspired to attempt again while he lost himself in the NHL playoff season.  Looking up at the sudden intrusion into his home, he shook his head as he watched Isabel let herself into the apartment, striding across the room towards him while Laney scampered off down the hallway, doubtlessly looking for the stash of toys he kept in the spare room for her.

"Hi Laney," he called as the child hurried away from him without a second glance.  Shifting his gaze to his fuming sister when there was no response, he threw his hands up in mock surrender as he fell back against the cushions.  "I give up, what did I do wrong this time?"

"Wrong?  WRONG!" Isabel screeched, plopping down on the couch beside him to wrap her arms tightly around his neck.  "Nothing!" she cried happily, melding her lips to his cheek as she showcased her obvious joy at his new relationship status.  "Just a little advance warning, you know."

"I know, I know," Michael relented, fighting to detach himself from her death-like grip.  "But I didn't want her to find out."

"Fine, but still… ah!" she squealed again, flinging her arms around him once more.

"Okay," he said firmly, pushing forcibly against her as he moved aside.  "It's great, I get it, now breathe."

Inhaling and exhaling slowly, Isabel smiled brilliantly as she released him from her hold, sighing as she forced herself to calm down.  "It _is great," she echoed.  "I mean, I always thought I'd have two sister-in-laws, you know?  I just thought Max'd be giving me the second."_

Smirking, Michael dropped his gaze as he blushed at his sister's teasing.

"Not that this is a bad thing," she continued, nudging him with her shoulder.  "I think she's really good for you."

"She is," he confirmed quietly.

Smiling, Isabel dropped her hand to her brother's leg, giving it a quick squeeze before moving to stand from the couch.  "Now, if you'll excuse me, _I have a wedding to plan."_

"Wait," Michael said quickly, standing to move after his sister as she walked down the hallway towards the master bedroom.  "_You have to plan it?"_

"Well," she drawled, turning in the hallway to face him.  "You certainly aren't going to do it, she's confined to her bed, and her mother doesn't live here, who else is going to pull this together in ten weeks?"

Shaking his head, Michael laughed at Isabel's logic but admitted to himself that she was probably right.  They really did need help pulling this off and an official event coordinator was the perfect person to do it.  "Fine, but you have to ask Maria what she wants, and no pink no matter what she says."

"Deal," she replied smiling, turning once again to knock softly on the slightly open bedroom door.  "Hey sister," Isabel called, stepping inside before stopping abruptly.  "Laney!" she exclaimed.

Looking up at her mommy, Laney giggled from her position on the bed with Maria, smiling as she danced her newest Barbie doll across the woman's knees.  "Mommy!  M'Ria wikes Barbie too!"

"Laney," Isabel hissed, moving completely inside the room.  "I thought you were playing with your toys."

"I am, toys _and_ Aunt M'Ria," the child replied innocently.

An immediate hush fell over the three adults as they heard the new title Laney had created for Michael's fiancée.

"Sweetie," Isabel spoke first, walking over to take a seat on the foot of the bed.  She smiled at Maria who was staring in awe at the little girl, reaching out to still Laney's hand as it reached for another Barbie outfit.  "Sweetie, why did you call Maria your aunt?"

"Be-tause Unca Mica don-na marry her, see?" Laney explained exasperatedly, pointing to the ring adorning Maria's hand.  "And she say I tan tum."

Approaching the smiling girls, Michael walked around to crawl up on the other side of the bed, pulling his niece into his arms as he planted a kiss on her head.  "Of course you can come, baby girl.  You can even be our flower girl, okay?"

"O-tay," Laney said shrugging, obviously having no idea what a flower girl was, just glad to be included in what sounded like a fun day.  "But I not baby Unca Mica.  Laney big durl."

"Yes you are," Michael said, laughing as he released the squirming child from his hold.  Catching Maria's teary gaze, he reached out to squeeze her hand lightly, "No tears, happy day, remember?"

"Happy day," she repeated, nodding as she blinked her eyes furiously.

"Hey, I know what will make you smile, let's get to planning this wedding, shall we?" Isabel interjected, reaching into her bag to product a gigantic wedding organizer book with pictures of dresses and swatches of fabric already peeking out from the edges.

"Oh… I… you can't do that," Maria said quickly, holding up her hand to stop the bubbling blonde.

"Oh, okay," Isabel replied slowly, shifting her eyes to Michael's and back again before turning to slide the book back into her bag.  "I just thought…" she mumbled, obviously scorned.

"No, no," Maria said, stretching her arm out to stop Isabel from concealing the book completely.  "It's just that Liz and Tess are coming over to help, I don't want to leave them out."

"Oh, sure," Isabel said smiling, her confidence returning as she pulled the book back onto her lap.  "I have lots of tasks for everyone."

Maria laughed, already thinking of the nightmare that would ensue once the logical brain of Elizabeth Parker matched wits with the organizational empire of Isabel Evans-Whitman.  "I'm sure you do, but I think Liz might already have some ideas.  She's bringing her 'How to Be a Blushing Bride' book."

"Blushing?" Isabel queried.  "Hmm," she said, placing one hand beneath her chin.  "I haven't heard of that planner."

"Oh, it's not a planner, she made it… when she was 13."

"Ah, well I'm sure it will be a lovely resource," Isabel murmured, already immersing herself in her own wedding planning book.

Michael laughed at his sister's outward anal-ness and moved to stand from the bed again.  "If you'll excuse me, I have some work to do," he said, walking around to give Maria a kiss.

"Oh, I almost forgot, Alex is waiting downstairs in the car for you, you're supposed to meet Max for a little pre-wedding celebration."

"Pre… it's over two months weeks away!"

"Michael, when does Alex ever get to celebrate anything?  He bought cigars, go play with him."

Rolling his eyes, he gave Maria one additional kiss and walked out of the room still musing over the 'fun' the women would have planning this wedding.  "Just make sure there's no pink!" he called over his shoulder as he grabbed his jacket.

"Sure thing babe!" Maria replied from the bedroom, winking at Laney and Isabel as she did.

"Aunt M'Ria, me like pink," Laney pouted.

"Oh don't worry baby girl, there'll be lots of pink."

Isabel laughed as she thought about the ease with which Maria handled Michael; they truly were the perfect match for the other.  Ducking her head back into her planner, she struggled to hide her laughter as Laney suddenly stood up on the bed and stomped her foot dramatically.

"Aunt M'Ria, me not baby!"

~*~*~*~*~*~

_For you see, each day I love you more,  
Today more than yesterday and less than tomorrow  
  
The presence of your company is requested at the union of  
  
Maria Deluca  
and  
Michael Guerin  
  
on Wednesday, June 18th, 2003,  
at seven o'clock in the evening,  
45 Riverdale Crescent, Apt. 1603.  
  
Reception to follow._

Maria clasped her hands on top of her protruding stomach and sighed heavily.  She had finally been successful in convincing her wedding day entourage to leave her alone for five minutes and was taking the rare moment of peace to just gather her thoughts.

She was getting married in less than ten minutes, her emotions were…

"Nothing, I got nothing," she mumbled quietly, struggling to find the right words to describe how she felt in the moment.  "You are a freakin' writer and you can't find one adjective to describe bliss!"

"You never did function well under pressure," a warm voice spoke from the doorway.

"Well, you'd know better than anyone, wouldn't you?" Maria responded with a smile, looking up into the beaming face of her mother as the woman approached.

Amy Valenti took a seat on the bed by her daughter's side, reaching out to tuck a stray strand of hair behind the other woman's ear.  "Perfect," she whispered as she sat back to gaze at her baby.

Maria had selected an empire waist gown to be married in, really the only cut that would still fit her rapidly expanding figure.  The beaded bodice highlighted her already swelling breasts, the flowing chiffon material masking the fact that she was celebrating 35 weeks of pregnancy today.  Her hair hung in loose curls about her shoulders, select pieces pulled back behind her head where they were gathered in a pearl encrusted clip.

She returned the smile as she felt the telltale string of tears prick her eyes again.  It was bad enough to be an emotional wreck while pregnant, but throw getting married on top of it and she was willing to bet that the Hoover Dam paled in comparison to the waterworks display she was capable of.

"I can't believe my baby's getting married," Amy sighed as she clasped her daughter's hand in her own.

"Mom, your baby's also about to have a baby, I don't think getting married is such a big step."

"I guess not," she said, smiling while reaching onto the bedside table for a tissue.  Taking one, two, three… six from the box, she grinned at her daughter as she shrugged helplessly.  "I won't cry, I promise."

"Sure," Maria laughed.  "Just leave some for me because I'm not crying either."

"Oh my," Amy breathed, turning to wrap her arms around her daughter forcefully.  "I love my little girl."

"Uh, Mom," Maria croaked, patting the older woman on the back as she felt the breath be squeezed from her body.  "A little less love?"

"Sorry," Amy apologized quickly, pulling away to straighten the shifted fabric covering the new baby that was about to gain his father's name.  "There, perfect again."

"Thank you," Maria whispered, her voice clouding with emotion as she let her mother take care of her once more.  "For just… everything."

"Stop it Maria," Amy cautioned playfully, dabbing at her eyes as she stood from the bed.  "We have lots of time to cry and reminisce in the next five weeks, today is not the day."  Turning to walk towards the door, she hesitated with her hand on the knob to smile back at her daughter.  "You ready?"

"Let's get married," Maria confirmed steadily.

Outside the room, Isabel looked up as soon as the door opened and smiled at Amy's nervous 'mother-of-the-bride' expression.  Stepping forward, she guided the woman into her place in the line-up of wedding guests winding along the hallway of the apartment, tossing one last smile of confidence towards the even more nervous groom before returning to her place beside Alex.

"Okay people," she said softly but firmly.  "It's time!"

The eternal planner in her hadn't overlooked a single detail of the day and as she pushed open the door to the bedroom become wedding chapel, even she had to smile at the magnificent job she had organized.  The ceiling of the room was covered in soft strips of billowing white silk, creating a tent like feeling inside the usual bedroom.  The walls were draped in a similar fashion, setting off huge pillars spaced evenly around the room from which dripping vines of ivy curled languidly.  Pink roses set off the muted tones of green, creating a Garden of Eden paradise in the once prison-cell grey room.

The final touch was candles of all shapes and sizes placed painstakingly on every open surface.  The faint light emanating from them now cast a soft glow over the waiting bride sitting on the bed and Isabel smiled as she hooked her arm in Alex's and walked purposefully across the room.  Stopping by the bedside, she leaned down to place the long stem pink rose she held in her hand into Maria's arms, kissing her lightly on the cheek before moving aside.  Alex followed suit, adding his flower to Isabel's before winking his encouragement at the pregnant woman.

Moving around the bed to stand against the far wall, Isabel and Alex made room for the next pair of guests, Diane and Phillip Evans, the people Michael had called Mom and Dad for 16 years.  The pair added flowers to the growing collection in Maria's arms, their glowing faces reminding her once more that they approved of the new union.  Amy and Jim Valenti were next, Maria's mother and stepfather crossing the room with tears in their eyes as they each leaned down to first add their flowers to the bundle, then wrap their arms around her for an extended hug.

Kyle and Tess were the last 'guests' to enter, Maria's baby brother almost crying himself as Tess blushed and wiped at her own eyes.  Tess added their flowers to Maria's arms and helped gather them together neatly before resting her hand on the girl's arm and taking her place standing by her husband's side.  The belle of the ball entered next, Laney looking beyond adorable in a pale pink dress that Isabel assured Michael was actually a shade of white.  She stared at the transformed room as she walked purposely towards the bed and reached up to hand her two pink roses to her new Aunt M'Ria.  Smiling down at the child, Maria passed her a Barbie doll dressed in her own flowing white gown, purchased by Liz who knew that the little girl would need something to keep her occupied throughout the ceremony.

Taking her place my Maria's side, Laney immediately started playing with the doll as Liz and Max, the maid of honor and best man, entered next, each bearing a flower to add to the fast-growing bouquet.  Their additions making an even dozen, Liz leaned down to add a ribbon to the entire bundle, fastening it into a perfect bow thanks to hours of tutoring on such practices by Isabel.  Satisfied that it would pass the blonde's inspection, she smiled through teary eyes at Maria and stepped back slightly to stand at her side.  Max rounded the room, passing the lined-off guests as he took his place by the opposite side of the bed.

A hush settled over the room once everyone was in place, the final piece of the wedding puzzle entering the room tentatively under the watchful eyes of the tiny crowd.  Looking up, Maria was suddenly aware of just how nervous she was as she watched Michael enter.  Smiling at his mirrored anxiousness, she let her eyes rake over his decidedly 'James Bond'-ish body, a black suit set off by a white dress shirt left open at the collar that complimented him perfectly.

Catching her eyes, Michael hesitated for a moment as he let his gaze fall upon her for the first time that day.  He swore nothing had ever soothed his soul in such a fashion as she smiled and he felt his nerves dissipate.  Willing his legs to move, he started across the room, shooting a smile in her direction as he lowered himself beside her on the bed.

"Hey handsome," she whispered, clasping his hand as he closed towards her.

"You look," he started, pausing to find the right words to express how exquisite she appeared.  "Stunning," he finished, leaning down to kiss her before a loud cough from Tess signaled that they had to wait for that particular action.

Stepping away from Kyle, the tiny blonde positioned herself at the end of the bed and cleared her throat lightly.  "Ladies and Gentlemen, we are gathered here today to witness the marriage of Michael Jonathan Guerin and Maria Catherine Deluca," she announced.

Maria smiled as she watched Tess settle into the role she had begged to play in the ceremony—Internet-ordained minister.  It wasn't conventional but then she was getting married on her fiancé's bed at 35 weeks of pregnancy, there wasn't much convention present in this day at all.

Losing herself in the words Tess spoke, Maria found she could only think of the grip Michael held on her hand, the physical connection no longer enough as she yearned for a more permanent one.  In what seemed like mere moments, she heard Michael's name being spoken and squeezed his hand in reassurance as he turned slightly to face her.  Reaching for her other hand, he held both tightly in his sweating palms, his inability to remain cool and collected evident as he swallowed heavily and prepared to answer Tess's question.

"Michael, will you have this woman to be your wedded wife, to live together in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love her, comfort her, honor, and keep her, in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others, keep thee only unto her so long as you both shall live?"

Michael replied softly, a smile playing on his lips as he did, "I will."

Turning to Maria, Tess repeated her question, "Maria, will you have this man to be your wedded husband, to live together in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love him, comfort him, honor, and keep him, in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others, keep thee only unto him so long as you both shall live?"

"I will," Maria breathed, returning his smile as she gripped his hand tightly.  Staring at Michael intently, she silently encouraged him to take the next step, knowing that it was time for them to repeat the vows they had written for each other.

Swallowing his nervousness, Michael gritted his teeth as he fought to cleanly state the words he had written for her.  "Maria, when I think about the emotions this day elicits in me, I can only find one word to describe it—overwhelming.  The indescribable effect meeting you has had on every aspect of my life is still too much to comprehend sometimes yet I am acutely aware of one thing—I need it all.  You, your love, our baby—I want everything you give me and more.  I want to feel every feeling you stir inside me and thrive on them to be a better person."

"I can't promise you that the road ahead of us will always be paved with gold, but I can promise you that I will try to make it so.  I will always love you, and care for you, and be there through the storms and the sun to shelter you.  This is my vow to you."

Smiling nervously at his about to be wife, he said a silent thank you that he had made it through his self-composed vows without error.  Attempting to write anything to compare to the magnificence she was capable of was futile, yet he had known how important it was to her that he try and so he had… for a full month.

Staring at him in awe, Maria felt her resolve to make it through her own vows without crying crumble as she listened to the words he had written for her.  An incomprehensible feeling of love and pride washed over her as she realized that this was actually happening, that today had actually arrived, and that she was sitting here in the midst of saying her wedding vows to the man she loved more than she had ever thought possible.

Steeling herself against the tears tingling her eyes, she almost lost it as his thumbs rubbed briskly over the back of her hands.  Biting the inside of her cheek to will herself to complete her part of the ceremony, she forced a smile as she fought back the tears and started her promise to him.

"Michael, I thought long and hard about what I could say today to express my vow of love to you.  I read every resource I had to find my usual spark of inspiration and there was nothing.  Finally I realized that the words weren't escaping me, there just weren't any.  In all the books ever written, in all the dictionaries ever published, there have never been the words to express the beautiful difference you have made in my life and to look anywhere but inside of myself to make a promise to you was futile."

"I love you, like you told me once, I think I have always loved you.  The only way to express that is to show you, every day, for the rest of my life.  I want to share myself with you, fully, completely, eternally.  This is my vow to you."

Tears she could no longer hold back dripped from each eye and she blinked them closed as he reached up to brush away the wetness with his fingers.  Enjoying the feel of her face being held in his hands for an extended moment, she suddenly felt his hot breath on her face, followed by his lips pressing against hers as he moved in to kiss her.  Returning the gesture hungrily, she heard a faint coughing from Tess, smiling as the sound grew louder and she resolved to ignore it.

The whispered, "Isabel, they're doing it wrong," from Tess finally brought the two of them apart, to the joyous applause of every member of the room.

Maria blushed, lowering her head as she smiled shyly at Michael and reveled in the newness of being his wife.  In return, he coiled his hand around hers, assuring the promised union as he held onto her tightly.

Clearing her throat once again to bring attention back to the ceremony, Tess frowned disapprovingly at the impatient couple before shaking her head and smiling.  "Okay, Max?  Rings?"

Max stepped forward to place the twin platinum bands on the 'Idiot's Guide to Officiating a Wedding' that Tess held in her hand.  Selecting the smaller of the two, Tess reached forward to hand it to Michael, nodding as she silently reassured him that he knew the words to say.

Reaching out with his left hand to grasp hers, he held the band in his right and poised it above her finger.  "Maria, I give you this ring as a sign of my love and devotion, with it I promise myself to you and give you my body, soul, and heart," he spoke softly, emotion choking his voice as he finally recognized the magnitude of the steps they were taking.  Slipping the ring fully onto her finger, he let his hand graze there for an extended moment before leaning in to steal another kiss from her lips.

"Excuse me," Tess coughed rudely, shaking her head as they refused to obey the rules of the ceremony.  "Honestly," she muttered beneath her breath.  "Like rabbits."

Her mouth falling open in shock, Maria could only keep the disapproval displayed on her face for minutes before the accuracy of Tess's statement set in and she blushed.  Smiling at her friend, she reached out to accept the second ring from the proffered book, shooting Tess a look that said she wasn't off the hook yet, but keeping quiet as she turned back to her almost husband.

"Michael, I give you this ring as a sign of my love and devotion, with it I promise myself to you and give you my body, soul, and heart," she offered, grinning as it slipped onto his hand effortlessly, right up to his knuckle.  Pushing against the folds of skin determinedly, Maria finally had to relent and let him finish the task, waiting patiently until he was properly claimed as hers before reaching out to grasp his face again.

"Almost done?" she whispered, knowing that Tess was shooting bolts of electricity from her eyes by now as she kissed him again.

"Almost," he replied softly.

"Okay, okay, it's obvious that you two are anxious for the honeymoon to begin, so by the power vested in me by the people at www.getordained.com, I now pronounce you man and wife.  You may now kiss the bride… again."

Falling into each other's arms amid cheers from their families, Michael and Maria shared a passion-filled kiss as they celebrated two becoming one.  Each had been unknowingly waiting for this day their entire lives and to have it finally realized was simply amazing.

"I'm your wife," Maria whispered as she pulled away from him slowly.

"Yes you are," Michael replied, grinning widely at her.  "So Mrs. Guerin, what's the first thing you want to do as a married woman?"

"Oh, umm," she wondered.  "Ah, eat cake?"

Laughing, Michael reluctantly pushed himself away from her to stand and make his way around the bed.  Bending towards her from the opposite side, he held out his hand as asked, "How about dancing?"

"Michael, I…"

"Relax, I got you," he said softly, bending down to place one arm beneath her knees while the other snaked behind her back.  Standing again, he smiled as she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and showcased her obvious elation at sharing a forbidden dance with her new husband.  The soft notes of the song she had selected but never hoped to dance to filled the air slowly as they turned.

_Maybe it's intuition  
Or something's you just don't question  
Like in your eyes, I see my future in an instant  
And there it goes, I think I found my best friend  
  
I know that it might sound more than a little crazy  
But I believe  
  
I knew I loved you before I met you  
I think I dreamed you in to life  
I knew I loved you before I met you  
I have been waiting all my life  
  
There's just no rhyme or reason  
Only a sense of completion  
And in your eyes, I see the missing pieces  
I'm searching for, I think I've found my way home  
  
I know that it might sound more than a little crazy  
But I believe  
  
I knew I loved you before I met you  
I think I dreamed you in to life  
I knew I loved you before I met you  
I have been waiting all my life_

Her forehead pressed against his as the music faded into nothingness and Maria sighed contentedly, letting the beauty of the moment wash over her.  Pulling away from him, she smiled at him for a moment before stiffening abruptly, her expression changing to one of surprise as she looked into his eyes.

"Michael?" she started questioningly.

"What?" he mumbled, realizing almost immediately what she was reacting to as he noticed object of her distress.

"I think my water just broke."


	12. Part 12 New Born Dreams

* * *

**Part 12  
New Born Dreams**

"Miiic… hael!!!"

"Here, here," Michael called quickly as he hurried into the labor room.

"Michael, Michael," Maria gasped, reaching out for his hand to pull him closer to the bed.  "Michael, they have to take it out of me.  It's all wrong, and it's early, and I'm not ready, but it… has… to… come… OUT… NOW!!!"

"Okay, okay, okay, breathe, breathe," he repeated, fighting to keep himself in the realm of sanity as he struggled to pull her back from the insane episode she appeared to be having.  "It'll all be over soon, I promise.  You're almost ready, maybe just a few hours…"

"A few hours!" she shrieked, writhing on the bed as another wave of unbearable discomfort washed over her.  "I can't wait…"

"An hour," he corrected without thinking, knowing there was no way this whole ordeal would be over in an hour.  "We'll be all done in an hour, better?"

"Mmm-hmm," she said softly, still pouting as she lay back against the pillows, suddenly satiated.  "Epidurals are nice," she purred, smiling up at him.

The nurse standing by her side smiled at Michael and moved to exit the room.  "She should feel good for a while, I'll check back," she said as she left.

Nodding in her direction, Michael turned back to watch as Maria moved to make herself comfortable on the bed.

Sliding her head along the pillow, her earring caught the fabric and she reached up to detach it from her ear.  Holding the trinket in her hand, she stared at it for a moment before remembering why she was wearing pearl earrings at her delivery and immediately launching into a fervor again.

"Nooo," she moaned, holding out the earring to him as she reached for the matching piece.  "Nooo," she repeated.

"What, what is it?" he asked, taking the earrings from her as confusion marred his features.

"My wedding dress," she continued, her voice falling to a low wail as she commiserated the apparent loss of the garment.  "It's ruined."

"Oh, no, no baby, no," Michael reassured her quickly, massaging her arm as he spoke.  "Liz took it to the dry-cleaners right away, make sure the stain didn't set or anything.  It's fine."

"Li… Liz took it?" she mumbled, tears pricking her eyes as she looked up at him soulfully.

"Yes, she's taking care of it; your dress will be good as new, promise."

"But… b-b-but… I want Liz to be here for the birth!" she cried, shaking her head as she thought about her best friend missing this most important event.

"She will, she will," he rushed to soothe her, inwardly rolling his eyes at the roller coaster her moods seemed to have jumped on.

"But, but you said…"

"Maria… babe," he said softly but firmly.  "What's going to make you happier?  Your dress being clean or your best friend being here."

"I… I…" she said, stopping as she stared at the choices he placed before her and blushing at the impossible situation she created.  "I want her here," she said softly, squeezing the hand that still held hers tightly.

"Good, then that's where she'll be, okay?"

"Okay," she echoed.

"Okay," he repeated.  "So we're ready, hey?  We're going to have a baby?"

"I guess… NO!"

"What!  What is it?" Michael said immediately, sitting up in his chair at her side to reach for her shoulder.  "Another contraction?"

"No, no, no, no, no," she moaned, shaking her head as tears poured forth from her eyes and she raised her hands to run them through her perfectly coiffed hair.

"Maria," he called, attempted to shake her from her reverie as he watched her freak out over apparently nothing at all.  "Maria!" he said more firmly when she didn't respond.

"No, no, not this, anything but this," she mumbled, continuing to shake her head as she stared directly at Michael.  "Our baby's name is going to be John!"

"What?  John?  Why, that wasn't on the list?" he asked, obviously confused.

"Exactly, we only have a list, no real name so now it's going to be John."

"Maria.  Our baby is not going to be named John just because we haven't picked a name.  We'll decide later, tomorrow, whenever, and then that'll be his name.  We don't need one right away."

"I know," she wailed, her tears falling fast and furious now as she panted to catch her breath between sobs.  "And if we don't give him a name they'll just call him John… John Doe!"

Michael had to lower his head to hide the smirk that spread across his face at her words.  Biting his lip to keep his humor restrained, he slowly reached up to caress her cheek, urging her to calm with the gesture.  "Babe," he whispered softly, wiping away a tear that fell from her eye as he soothed her.  "They don't name babies John or Jane Doe before they have a name."

"Th-they… they don't?"

"No," he smiled.  "We can take our time choosing the perfect name.  Until then it'll just be Baby Guerin."

"Are you sure?" she whispered, lingering fear still evident on her face as she settled tentatively back into her pillow.  "We won't have to call the baby 'Baby' for the rest of their life?"

"No," Michael laughed, unable to restrain himself any longer at her latest question.  "No we get to choose whatever we want."

"Okay, good," she murmured, shifting her weight on the bed as she tried to make herself more comfortable.  "But we should still pick one, right?"

"Of course, but we can do it later, it's fine."

"No, please?" she begged.  "Can you get a book of names from the bookstore or something?  I really want to choose now."

"Now?"

"Well you said we had a few hours, right?"

Smiling, Michael realized that his little lie about it only taking an hour wasn't even remotely believed by her, yet he had to smile at the way their relationship already worked—she freaked, he calmed; so far it was a pretty good balance.

"Okay, I'll see if I can get a book.  Maybe someone will run down and get one."

"Someone?"

"They're all here," he replied nonchalantly as he stood from his chair.

Smiling, Maria watched him leave the room, glancing down at her hands as she said a silent thank-you for her friends and family being here.  Her engagement ring winked up at her from its temporary position on her right hand, a reminder that she had removed it before the ceremony so that her wedding band could be easily added to her left.  In the sudden excitement of going into labor and rushing from the makeshift wedding chapel for the hospital, it had remained there.  Reaching out now, she lightly gripped it and removed it from her finger, moving to slip it onto her left hand, her wedding band glistening brightly under the harsh fluorescent lights of the room as it met its partner.

She was married.  Her name was now and forever Maria Catherine Guerin.

"Guerin," she sounded out, testing the word as it passed her lips.  "Mar-i-a Gear-in… Gwer-in… Gee-u-ear-in."

Smiling she settled back against her pillows and patted her impossibly expanded stomach lightly.  "Mommy, Daddy, and Baby Guerin," she said softly.  It had a nice ring.

Outside the room, Isabel looked up expectantly as she heard Michael enter, hearing him run his hand roughly across his shadowed face before she ever saw the action.

"Hey there Daddy," she said softly, standing to envelop him in a sisterly embrace.

"Hey," he mumbled, returning the gesture before pulling away to glance around at the expectant faces of their wedding guests all staring back at him.  "It'll be a while yet, a few hours at least," he offered, receiving a sympathetic smile from Amy as she stood and crossed the room towards him.

"How's she holding up?"

"She's… she's fine."

"Darling, this is my daughter we're talking about, how _is she?"_

Michael winced, "Linda Blair a la the Exorcist?"

Stiffening her lips, Amy stared thoughtfully at the man in front if her, almost immediately breaking into laughter as she watched his face pale.  "Relax," she soothed, rubbing his arm gently.  "Women in labor can be ugly, ugly creatures, it's natural."

Michael sighed, raising a hand to rub it tiredly across his eyes.  "Really?"

"Really," Amy confirmed.  "Why don't you get a cup of coffee, let me check on her for a minute."

"Okay, but she wants a book of baby names, we still haven't picked," he finished lamely.

"Good Lord, I thought you were just keeping it a secret!" Amy exclaimed.

"It's okay, it's okay," Isabel said quickly, turning to reach down by her feet and retrieve an overnight bag resting there.  "I brought her book, here," she said, reaching into the suitcase.

"What?  That's my luggage!" Michael said in surprise.

"I know, and these are her clothes," Isabel continued, pointing to the stuffed bag.  "You didn't think I was going to risk the baby showing up and ruining the perfectly planned wedding did you?"

Shaking his head, Michael shot an appreciative smile at his sister.  "No, I suppose I should have figured," he said softly.

Handing the book to Amy, Isabel only smiled back at him and reached for his hand.  Watching Amy leave the room to check on Maria, she pulled Michael towards a chair, forcing him to sit down.

"Now, you must be famished, Alex honey, pass the food."

"But this is my sandwh…" Alex started to object, seeing the firm look on his wife's face as he held the wrapped slices of bread protectively in his hands.  Sighing, he passed it over to Michael, forcing a smile on his face to supplement his offering.

"Really…" Michael objected.

"Eat," Isabel commanded sternly, pushing the sandwich into his hand as she reached for a fresh coffee that she hadn't yet started to drink.  "You'll need it, believe me."

"It's not that much longer, really," Michael muttered, stuffing his mouth with the tuna fish snack as he talked.

"Not much longer," Isabel repeated, smiling up at her husband as they shared a knowing grin.  "Sweetie," she cooed as she massaged his knee lightly.  "It's the rest of your life."

Michael had to force his mouth to close as Isabel made her last declaration, his heart suddenly refusing to beat as he realized that it _was the rest of his life that would change; the rest of _their_ lives._

Smiling, he grinned stupidly at the pair and accepted the hot cup of coffee they passed him.  "I know," he whispered, obvious joy evident on his face.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Stepping back into her room minutes later, Michael watched as Amy stood from her daughter's bedside and bent over to offer her support in the form of a gentle kiss.  Passing him on the way out, he smiled as she gripped his arm in reassurance and exited the room.  Walking towards his about-to-give-birth wife, he watched her reach for the tattered and dog-eared copy of '20,001 Names for Baby' that had rested by her bedside for the past two months and hold it up for him.

"You know Isabel," he replied quickly, laughing as he watched her smile.  "Who else would have thought to pack an emergency bag _just in case._"

"Of course, I should've guessed," she said, smiling.  Flipping the book open to the front cover, she removed the folded piece of paper with their narrowed down list of names on it and scanned it quickly.  "Okay, we've got Paige, Lauren, and Allison.  Then Braden, Gray, and Eric."  Sticking her tongue out at the paper while she made a sudden gagging noise, she crumpled it in her hand and tossed it towards the foot of the bed.  "Yuck!  What were we thinking?"

"What?" Michael yelped, reaching for the paper to unfold it.  Smoothing it against the blanket resting on her legs, he read the names aloud again.  "What's wrong with Paige?  Paige Guerin?"

"Michael, the other kids will tease her and call her book, or worse, dictionary or something.  No… loose leaf!"

"Maria," Michael frowned, unable to hide the smirk that spread across his face as he struggled to remain serious.  Finally laughing, he still argued, "They are not going to call her loose leaf, or exercise book, or scribbler…"  Pausing, he seemed to be thinking of the possibilities the name could bring.  "Although they could call her paper, or sheet… all right, it's scratched."

Grabbing a pen to mark it off on the paper, Michael moved on to the next name.  "Lauren Guerin?"

"No, it rhymes."

"How…"

"Laur-EN Guer-IN… close enough.  And that goes for Braden and Gray too."

Shaking his head, Michael drew a line through Lauren and Braden for the rhyming reason, hesitating when he got to Gray.

"Initials are G. G., Gigi, think Michael, think."

Bewildered at his wife's logic but having absolutely no intention of arguing with her, he drew another line through Gray.  "All right, that leaves Allison and Eric.  Does Allison rhyme too?"

"No, because we'd call her Alli, but…"

"Here it comes," he mumbled beneath his breath, earning a sharp stare from her as she continued.

"I went to school with an Alli, she used to pick her nose.  It's a scratch.  And Eric, ugh, I don't know why we ever picked it."

"Because it was my grandfather's name perhaps?" Michael said quietly, raising his eyebrows at her expectantly.

"Middle name?" she countered, pleading with him silently not to force the issue.

"Fine, I don't care, but why?  Why not Eric?"

"Would you believe a bad 'Days of Our Lives' crush?" she asked hopefully.

"Holy sh…" he breathed, balling the sheet of paper in his fist before shooting it across the room towards a garbage can.  Missing by a good three feet, he stood up and walked over to retrieve the litter.  "All right Maria, we don't have to use any of those names, but we do have to pick something, unless you really do like John."

"Well it is your middle name…" she started.

"And we agreed we wouldn't name him after us, so…"

"You keep saying him," she prodded, smiling as he retook his seat by her side.  "It could still be a girl you know."

"I know," he said, grinning sheepishly.  "And I don't care either way, it's just… well, I guess I'd just like the chance to raise a son, you know?  Give him a good start."

"I don't think it's possible for you to do anything else," she said softly, reaching out to clasp his hand again as she handed him the book.  "Here, why don't you look through it, see if you like anything."

Smiling, Michael accepted it from her and moved to rest his elbows on the mattress as he flipped it open.  "Okay, Aaron?"

"You're starting at the beginning?"

"Well I could start with…" pausing as he thumbed to the back of the book.  "Zuriel?" he teased.

Pushing him lightly on the shoulder, she suggested, "Think of a letter, like… R?  You like R?"

"I like M."

"Obviously," she replied dryly.

"Okay," he said, thumbing through the pages to the 'R' section.  "Umm, Ray, Rayburn, Razor—who would name their kid Razor?"

"You'd be surprised."

"There should be a book for people who want normal names, none of this River or Rainbow stuff."

"Well what about Laney?"

"I think it's taken," he mumbled quietly.

"No, I mean do you like it?  Like, it's not _normal, but you like it, right?"_

"Well yeah, but…"

"Well yeah, but… you like what you get used to, it's always the way.  Read some more, and try C after, I'm thinking Caleb."

"Ugh, religious?"

"Excuse me, Mrs. Guerin?" a nurse interrupted them, slipping into the room quietly.

"Oh, uh… yeah," Maria said blushing.  "Mrs. Guerin," she repeated to Michael.  "I guess that's me."

"The bride and groom, right?" the nurse asked while smiling at the pair.  "Word travels," she explained.

"I guess you don't see too many women in here in a wedding dress, hey?"

"Oh you'd be surprised.  And a lot of ceremonies aren't even over, the chapel minister performs quite a few last minute unions."

"Well, we won't be needing him," Maria said softly, turning back to smile at Michael as the nurse busied herself at the foot of the bed.

"Good to hear, and congratulations by the way."

"Thanks."

"Okay, so I'll just check you and…" the nurse started, bending down to lift the sheet covering Maria's legs.  A few moments later she stepped away and smiled at her patient.  "Not long now, you're at eight centimeters."

"What?" Maria yelped.  "Eight?"

"That a good thing," Michael offered, patting her hand lightly.

"No, no, it's not, we aren't ready, we still need a name, and we have to paint the nursery and I need to buy another blanket, it's still cold and the baby will be cold… and have no name…" she finished, her lower lip trembling as she stared at her new husband.

"Maria, Maria, calm, remember, calm.  Deep breaths…" he comforted her.  "I'll get Max and Kyle to help with the nursery, I'm sure Isabel still has blankets from Laney, and we are getting a name right now.  We're fine, just breathe."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, look, we can always use this one," he said, pointing randomly to the page in front of him.  Looking down, he winced as he read the name, "Oh, Rath, maybe not."

~*~*~*~*~*~

"AAAHHH!!!" Maria screamed loudly, pushing with all her might as she felt Michael place his hand firmly on her back.  Squinting her eyes as the powerful contraction raged on and she continued the driving push down and out, she somehow found the strength to lift her hand from the bedside railing and latch onto the free hand of her husband.  Gritting her teeth, she bit down hard as she attempted to transfer all the pain she felt into him; it was after all his fault.

"Never," she panted, lying back against the pillows once the pain subsided, opening her eyes just a little to see a grimace of agony still painted on his face as she continued to squeeze his hand.  "Again…"

"Okay, uh, sure, uh," he mumbled, gesturing pathetically with his head towards the vice-grip she held him in.  "Uh, honey?"

"Fine," she muttered, releasing him as a wave of relief washed over his face.  "But I'm serious, no more, _ever_."

"That's what Isabel said too, but now she…" he remarked offhandedly, rubbing his hand as he looked up to meet her stern gaze.  "B-b-ut then," he stammered nervously.  "M-m-aybe it's different for you…"

"Maybe," Maria echoed hollowly, turning away from him as another powerful wave of darkness crashed over her.  "Oh Jesus, Jesus, JESUS!!!" she screamed, allowing herself to be pushed upwards by Michael and the nurse on her right side, fighting to find his hand along the rail before she noticed that he had tucked it away behind his back.

"I… can… still… make… you… pay," she grunted, sticking her elbow out from her side sharply to catch him in the ribs.  "You… you… MAN!"

Watching his new wife transform into a demon worthy of slayage by Buffy, Michael had to smile inwardly that he had been trained well by his own child-bearing sister on what to expect.  'She'll scream bloody murder and then the baby will be here and it'll all be forgotten.'  Those words were getting a little harder to remember as the night wore on, but he kept repeating them to himself like a mantra—just get through the delivery and you'll both have a baby to celebrate.  She hadn't complained once in the six months he'd known her, he figured she was entitled to a scream or two.

"Good, good," he whispered in her ear as she lay back down after a particularly tough contraction.  "Almost there, we're almost done."

"No, no," she moaned, staring up at him wide-eyed as she felt the fingers of pain release her mind for a brief moment of lucid thought.  "We still didn't choose, we still didn't decide, we can't…"

"Okay, Maria, it's time to push again, just one more," the doctor delivering her baby prompted urgently.

"No, no," she repeated more firmly.  "I can't Michael," she continued, looking up at him desperately.  "I'm not ready; _we're_ not ready!"

"I know, but we have to do this," Michael replied.

"No!  _I have to do this, not we, and I'm not pushing until we have a name."_

"Maria, you must push now," the doctor urged.  "It's time."

"Listen," she snapped.  "Until you've tried pushing a watermelon through a hole built for a cucumber, I don't want to hear one more word!  I'll push when I'm God damn good and ready, got it Doc?"

Staring at the women for a moment, her chastised doctor could only mumble, "But Mrs. Guerin…"

"Okay, okay," Michael interrupted quickly, bending down in front of his laboring wife to block the death rays she was shooting towards the helpless man at her feet.  "I've got it okay?  I've got a name, a good one," he said smiling.

"Wha… what is it?"

"In a minute, we have to see if it's a boy or not."

"A boy or not," she grunted, another contraction building even as she spoke.  "Oh shit," she cried, screaming in protest as her body let her know that the baby was coming whether she participated or not.  "I hope we don't have a _not!"_

One final push from the mother and a perfectly formed, if a little early, baby angel was added to the world.  Working quickly to suction his nose and mouth, the first sounds of their new child's cry were heard by two sobbing parents as their brand new baby was placed on Maria's stomach.

"Congratulations," the new parents vaguely heard the doctor tell them.  "It's a boy."

"A boy?" Maria cried, reaching towards his impossibly tiny head in awe.

"I have a son," Michael whispered beside her, his own body quivering beyond control as he felt his finger make contact with the softest newborn skin for the first time.  "He's here," he breathed between soft sobs.

"Yes he is," the new Mom joined him, leaning to rest her head on Michael's arm as she reveled in the miracle that had just occurred.  "But what's his name?" she asked quietly.

Grinning broadly, Michael turned to her and hesitated for a moment before sharing the name he had no doubt she would love as much as he did.  "Well, I know we didn't want to name him after me or you, but he's already got Guerin, I'd like to give him Deluca too."

"Deluca?" she questioned, confusion obvious in her voice.

"Yeah, Deluca, well close enough—Lucas.  Lucas Guerin."

"Lucas," Maria repeated softly, stretching out to place her hand on the squirming child.  "Lucas Michael Guerin," she added.

"No, Maria, we don't…"

"Yes," she said softly, turning to stare into his eyes as she repeated the name she knew their son would bare.  "Lucas Michael Guerin, it's perfect."

Wiping at his eyes as they filled up for the second time with tears, Michael could only lean into kiss her as words escaped him.  He was a father, she was a mother, they had a son… sighing contentedly as he rested his head atop hers, he stared down at the baby lying on her belly and whispered, "Welcome to the world Lucas."

It was never supposed to happen; the man and woman were never supposed to meet, and the little boy that had just entered the world was never supposed to know his father.  While Maria reveled in the miracle she had created with a man she didn't even know at the time, Michael mused on the oddity of their situation; some would call it luck; he could only call it life.  Deep inside he knew that somehow he was destined to meet this girl and have this baby; that life may have taken them the long way around, but it always intended to drop them off in the same spot they were fated to arrive at.

The new Mom and Dad closed their eyes as emotion neither was capable of expressing reigned supreme.  Both knew that there was only one thing missing from their life together—more of it.

The End. 


End file.
